Asperger's & Autism Forum

Rodafina

Can you identify why you are feeling like this will cause her to become a "former friend"? Don't forget that your friendship has been resilient in the past.

Tony Ramirez

I always feel like she is not going to like mine no more every time I trauma dump on her because of past bad experiences with girls. I just feel like I am going to ruin it,\.

Rodafina

I understand – maybe it's just fear talking to you because this friendship has been so important and you don't want to lose it. Just remember that sometimes we go to the worst case scenario right away, but based on the way your friendship has been so far, this does not need to mean the end of it altogether.

Forest Cat

I think the best thing you can do is to send a quick and short message saying something like "sorry I was a downer earlier, just having a bad day, it'll pass." And avoid trauma dumping on people, people will get tired of it. I think. I could be wrong but I think that's the kind of thing people get tired of, too much negativity, it can chase people away and that's a shame.

Tony Ramirez

I have no therapist. The last one was not licensed, was a student and betrayed my trust so I only have my friends to use as therapist that's the problem and I end up trauma dumping on the closest ones like the coffee shop girl 'casual friend' Tuesday couple and my Thursday life group which I also dumped the same message to them too.

Forest Cat

I think it would be better for you if people connected you with something positive. I understand the need to talk with someone about problems, but using your friends as therapists could turn bad. After a while they could see you as a downer, someone who talks a lot about problems. And that doesn't help you.

M

Misty Avich

I do all my trauma dumping here, which is why it's a godsend for me and difficult to not have this site. That way I can feel less urge to trauma dump on people offline. It's easier to trauma dump online because people can read it in their own time. So perhaps use this site to trauma dump, as I don't mind reading it.

M

Misty Avich

But just be sure to ignore the people who might complain about you complaining. You're entitled to feel things and express yourself here with no judgement from others.

Judge

To be and have a real friend you have to be there to listen to them as much as you may rely on them to listen to you. Agree with others, consider interacting with your friend on a positive level. Leave your negativity at home. Find common ground in something pleasant. Otherwise you will eventually repel them.

That's just human nature, regardless of whether you feel entitled or not.

Tony Ramirez

I messaged her back apologizing and gave her positive vibes.