I realize I am my own biggest problem.

[Metalhead]

Or, to be more exact, my lack of confidence and self-esteem is my biggest problem today.

This is something to talk about with my therapist.

I have to learn to be OK with who I am, because logically I know I am no better or worse than most people in the world.

 

[mw2530]

Or, to be more exact, my lack of confidence and self-esteem is my biggest problem today.

This is something to talk about with my therapist.

I have to learn to be OK with who I am, because logically I know I am no better or worse than most people in the world.

This is a common problem for many of us. I also struggle with confidence and not feeling good about myself. Often times I assume others look down on me.

You have a good insight in that you are no better or worse than others. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and all have our own struggles.

I think the part that makes it difficult for us on the spectrum is we differ so much from other people and as a result tend to always feel like we never quite fit in to any group. At least that is how I often times feel. Plus the world is not set up to meet our needs and people are generally not aware of our day to day struggles.

 

[Jonn]

Don't judge yourself using other ppl's standards.

 

[Xinyta]

Or, to be more exact, my lack of confidence and self-esteem is my biggest problem today.

This is something to talk about with my therapist.

I have to learn to be OK with who I am, because logically I know I am no better or worse than most people in the world.

You have the right minset.

Learn to like yourself first, before you start finding reasons to love yourself.

Though I do agree with @Jonn. Be mindful of what information and standards you use, in regards of yourself. Everyone has thier own beliefs and world views in many matters. And not all are exactly glowing veiws. Take advice from professionals with a grain of salt, unless they truly do have your best interests in mind.

But practice self-advicacy, most importantly. Tell yourself that you did a great job. Tell yourself that you are the man. But most importantly, tell yourself that what others think of you doesn't matter. If they think ill of you, that's thier problem. Not your's.

 

[DavidJSNSW]

I have to learn to be OK with who I am, because logically I know I am no better or worse than most people in the world.

That is spot on. How to get there is often difficult for those of us who are down on ourselves. Doing small esteemable things can help.

 

[Wolfnox]

I struggle with this too.

 

[MNAus]

I have a theory, if you'll indulge me. I've been researching quite a bit into the idea that the brain doesn't operate only as this processing unit that works through all these inputs, but that it's also a prediction engine. The theory says that the whole time we are predicting what is going to happen around us because that is cognitively cheaper than processing the huge amounts of data our senses present. We can also process the data if we want, but it's cheaper to predict. Depending on the situation, we will rely more on the predictions, or on the sensory input. When it comes to autism the theory says that our balance on predict vs sense is correct, but our sensory input is amplified, so we spend a lot more of our time trying to decode the world, rather than go with our heuristics. My feeling is that with that decoding comes a recognition of uncertainty that prediction doesn't have. We are aware of the incompleteness of our data. This can quickly lead to drops in self-confidence, imposter syndrome, etc. So it's not that we're less able, or less worthy, it's just that we're more aware of the complexity. I believe that NTs have the advantage of a form of Dunning-Kruger.

 

[Aspychata]

Yup, sign me up for that. I am embarrassed how much l feel this. I think of all of my success and, l still wallow in a ocean of insecurities. But on the bright side? Feeling insecure is a very common universal theme, up there with wanting to be a rock star or whatever.

 

[Jonn]

So it's not that we're less able, or less worthy, it's just that we're more aware of the complexity.

This is associated with higher intellectual intelligence.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

 

[Metalhead]

For over two decades, I was a magnet for users, mooches and narcissistic abusers because I let myself be a complete doormat for people like that. That kind of behavior was demanded from me from my blood family, actually. I was raised to have zero boundaries.

I want to hurt myself when I think of everything I allowed to happen to me throughout my life.

 

[Jonn]

For over two decades, I was a magnet for users, mooches and narcissistic abusers because I let myself be a complete doormat for people like that. That kind of behavior was demanded from me from my blood family, actually. I was raised to have zero boundaries.

I want to hurt myself when I think of everything I allowed to happen to me throughout my life.

This sounds like ritual psychological abuse.