yeah, i feel safe here thank you

thank you but why does it seem that some people with autism have more understanding people in their lives and then there are older ones who have been successful and have to be bullied and ridiculed. this united states system i thank for the small social security check but it doesn't matter where i go i ask these humans for help and they just don't care. in fact, i hear quite a bit that they don't even care for themselves. its a proven fact, they just are so angry that they have to just work to pay their rents and barely have enough time to take care of their personal hygiene. and the most ironic part is, they gossip and judge those that are homeless that have a sweet body odor calling them names but, haha, have you have got close to someone, the reek of alcohol, some type of smell like they are of rotting dead flesh inside them. oh, and then, there's the weed smell. ugh, how do i know about this weed smell, doh i always denied it until i was 35, been using and once i got off it i notice that weed smell leave. ugh, what is worse weed or tobacco smell? i can't even compare to write such words. ugh being homeless in a washington heights shelter is very abusive from security that don't like my kindness, the staff that is hostil, the inmates here that just want to use me if thye can to do some innocent looking drug deal. but, aren't rwilling to negotiate and yell in my face and threaten. haha three of them, and one dude you says he cares stands off to the side as i'm being severing threatened and angrily yelled at because i was just trying to get involved because a friend was talking too loud. seriously, some violent narcisssistic psychopath. i don't want to go to the psychiatric hospital because all they do is want to drug me and give me behaviorial therapy like i'm some type of sexual deviant (its really so twisted that its what they want, reverse psychology). oh the sexual harassment with someone witha disability. and if you don't have rich parents or good health insurance you are thrown to the curb hoping that soon you're die so they don't have to pay the little bit of welfare for the disabled. if they spent the resources so that we all can have jobs then perhaps, there wouldn't be so much hate. but, seriously, call me lucky to have the state of california teach me their psychiatric and behaviorial therapy to understand even more. seriously, every time i get a bill every quarter i'm amazed by the mass amount of money that my portion is. and then, to add all the money of expenses spent in some LGBT behavior therapy office for 10 years. i think we are looking at like billions of dollars. oh, the reverse psychology that they then get angry because i say NO to them because some man wants to marry so that two men can have a son so he can make love forever. its beyond a story of imagination that am i even alive or am i really dead and this is hell and earth is just a dream and somehow i sinned in an earthly dream that this is really hell and this isn't earth. or is my PTSD trapping me in another psychosis of hallucinations to write this blog? if this is real then i how do i get support for so much trauma and suffering? i need a lawyer quickly and perhaps maybe flying to another country and living in a tent. hmmm... which has a overall nice climate to live and kind animals that won't kill me?