Sometime this morning. I had to make a conscious decision to change my frame of mind regarding a situation and how someone is behaving, how that behavior affects me.
Basically, I was regarding the situation as a whole as something that needed to be dealt with, like no one specific is responsible, and the situation needs to be dealt with.
But that's not... too often the case right? I mean, most of the time there is responsibility to be had.
In this case, a specific person has been actively harming my health with full knowledge of the effects. They smoke in my apartment. It is against the lease, but more than that- it is dramatically harming my health and he has been told the specific effects repeatedly.
Previously I have attempted to address the situation through the landlord who has not been helpful. I mean, I was seeing it as an issue of just... a nuisance roommate.
But here is the reality:
Before this person moved in, it was made clear to them that NO smoking of any substance was permitted in the building. They agreed, and even said none of their friends smoked. There were repeated discussions about this after it was discovered that he actually did smoke- and he said that he did not smoke in the apartment and never would "because there is a baby in the building" [but not, apparently because it is against the lease, or he agreed to verbally, or because of his roommate's health problems].
He has clearly been smoking in the apartment. I have woken up literally woken up not able to breathe because my room was full of smoke. I can't use the kitchen half the time, even on the few occasions I can use the kitchen. I can't use the livingroom half the time. I wake up coughing, my nose, throat and eyes burning. I have a hard time breathing. At this point I am not downstairs during the day when he is home.
This has now gone on for over four months. I haven documentation of discussions with him saying he is smoking in the house. I hav had an officer come over and explicitly tell him he is harming his roommate's health- explicitly because of breathing problems including asthma. The officer can't do anything because Marijuana smoking isn't illegal in MA.
My landlord has pretty much just gotten pissed because I am asking her to do her job.
She came over one time when he had just been smoking, then left. I admit I am a bit more sensitive to it, but she came over, I opened the door- she was just angry.
She came into the apartment, stood as far away from his door as possible for a few seconds and threw her arms up "I don't smell anything!" and left that room.
...she also ended up yelling at me and is very reluctant to offer me examples of what would constitute proof.
I'm explaining all of this because...
This isn't about the lease.
This roommate has told me explicitly to move out more than once.
I told him i couldn't breathe because of his smoking, that I've been to the ER, I have developed bronchitis due to increased irritants in my environment. His response [in text]: "deal with it".
He has repeatedly been told specific effects his smoking is having, reminded of his written and verbal agreement. So what that comes down to:
He is actively and knowingly causing me physical harm.
The fact that he has told me to move out of the apartment more than once.
I wrote him a letter telling him that I am now interpreting his actions as active intention to injure my person, detailing all of the above. I copied it to my mother, my roommate, my father [who is not speaking to me, but is a landlord]. Tomorrow I'm going to see social services and telling them that I'm at the point where my health is in danger because of what is happening at my house.
And this is the truth.
I am scared. I have everything to lose at this point. I barely can function. I kind of had a break down at some point late last night and if I don't break this situation down and address what is really going on here: that this person is completely taking advantage of the fact that I can not move out of my apartment, can not work, am poor, am disabled?
...I what independence I do have. And frankly my current situation is such that it is a very very realistic fear.
I feel pretty terrible about taking this step, really.
Like, I don't feel good about it.
On the other hand- I have also repeatedly tried to explain to this person how detrimental this is to my health, and [as I said in the letter] attempted every other route of resolution possible.
Moving is not an option. My landlord is basically blocking that route.
This is kind of forcing my hand and it sucks.
But it's kind of a wake up call.
People really suck. This guy has been viewing me as the jerk in this situation the entire time- and will continue to.
...of course.
Basically, I was regarding the situation as a whole as something that needed to be dealt with, like no one specific is responsible, and the situation needs to be dealt with.
But that's not... too often the case right? I mean, most of the time there is responsibility to be had.
In this case, a specific person has been actively harming my health with full knowledge of the effects. They smoke in my apartment. It is against the lease, but more than that- it is dramatically harming my health and he has been told the specific effects repeatedly.
Previously I have attempted to address the situation through the landlord who has not been helpful. I mean, I was seeing it as an issue of just... a nuisance roommate.
But here is the reality:
Before this person moved in, it was made clear to them that NO smoking of any substance was permitted in the building. They agreed, and even said none of their friends smoked. There were repeated discussions about this after it was discovered that he actually did smoke- and he said that he did not smoke in the apartment and never would "because there is a baby in the building" [but not, apparently because it is against the lease, or he agreed to verbally, or because of his roommate's health problems].
He has clearly been smoking in the apartment. I have woken up literally woken up not able to breathe because my room was full of smoke. I can't use the kitchen half the time, even on the few occasions I can use the kitchen. I can't use the livingroom half the time. I wake up coughing, my nose, throat and eyes burning. I have a hard time breathing. At this point I am not downstairs during the day when he is home.
This has now gone on for over four months. I haven documentation of discussions with him saying he is smoking in the house. I hav had an officer come over and explicitly tell him he is harming his roommate's health- explicitly because of breathing problems including asthma. The officer can't do anything because Marijuana smoking isn't illegal in MA.
My landlord has pretty much just gotten pissed because I am asking her to do her job.
She came over one time when he had just been smoking, then left. I admit I am a bit more sensitive to it, but she came over, I opened the door- she was just angry.
She came into the apartment, stood as far away from his door as possible for a few seconds and threw her arms up "I don't smell anything!" and left that room.
...she also ended up yelling at me and is very reluctant to offer me examples of what would constitute proof.
I'm explaining all of this because...
This isn't about the lease.
This roommate has told me explicitly to move out more than once.
I told him i couldn't breathe because of his smoking, that I've been to the ER, I have developed bronchitis due to increased irritants in my environment. His response [in text]: "deal with it".
He has repeatedly been told specific effects his smoking is having, reminded of his written and verbal agreement. So what that comes down to:
He is actively and knowingly causing me physical harm.
The fact that he has told me to move out of the apartment more than once.
I wrote him a letter telling him that I am now interpreting his actions as active intention to injure my person, detailing all of the above. I copied it to my mother, my roommate, my father [who is not speaking to me, but is a landlord]. Tomorrow I'm going to see social services and telling them that I'm at the point where my health is in danger because of what is happening at my house.
And this is the truth.
I am scared. I have everything to lose at this point. I barely can function. I kind of had a break down at some point late last night and if I don't break this situation down and address what is really going on here: that this person is completely taking advantage of the fact that I can not move out of my apartment, can not work, am poor, am disabled?
...I what independence I do have. And frankly my current situation is such that it is a very very realistic fear.
I feel pretty terrible about taking this step, really.
Like, I don't feel good about it.
On the other hand- I have also repeatedly tried to explain to this person how detrimental this is to my health, and [as I said in the letter] attempted every other route of resolution possible.
Moving is not an option. My landlord is basically blocking that route.
This is kind of forcing my hand and it sucks.
But it's kind of a wake up call.
People really suck. This guy has been viewing me as the jerk in this situation the entire time- and will continue to.
...of course.
