Uh-oh. We have competition. Another strip-mall plaza evangelical church has opened its doors just a mile or so down the road. You know, one of those hip, trendy churches with an edgy, nonthreatening name. In fact, that is its name. The Edge.
So now we have The Edge along with Freshwater or is it Clearwater, The Gathering Place and mine which I will leave anonymous but which too has a trendy hip name.
Once upon a time you could look at a church's name and know what you were getting. First Church of Christ. First Reformed. Trinity Lutheran. St. Mary Catholic. And so on and so forth. With these little churches which are springing up all over the place there is no telling what is on the other side of those doors. I have been going to mine for over a year and I am STILL finding out what they are about. Things they don't tell you up front. Things they don't tell you openly.
Such as: women are not permitted leadership roles
Such as: secular science is on the wrong path and only young-earth creationism is correct
Such as: everything in the Bible no matter how absurd or improbable is true and by the way there are no errors or contradictions to be found in it.
I could go on with many other examples such as views on homosexuality and abortion but you get the picture. The problem is that once you have found out these things then what do you do? By that time perhaps you have made friends. That's one thing these churches are all very very good at. Building a community. That's no small deal if you are like myself and live alone and have no family members nearby. Even for those of us on the spectrum community is important; if it weren't, why are so many threads dedicated to relationships and getting along with others? Deep down inside none of us really want to be alone.
And these churches pick up on it. I believe that the friendliness they show newcomers is genuine enough in that I don't think it is faked but it is definitely based on the assumption that everyone who walks through their doors shares their theology. Or will share once they know what it is.
Last Sunday we sang a song about how a relationship with Jesus is supposed to be more than falling in love than giving my allegiance to a set of rules and beliefs. Well, yeah, I can identify with the sentiment in that song--if I could only believe that there really WAS someone to fall in love with. Otherwise it just denigrates rationality. And even in love you still need to keep your rationality, at least I think so. But there's a lot of folks out there who let their brains go out the window when love is concerned--just look on the daily news. Maybe that's the point--that you are supposed to fall so wildly in love with this idea that is being sold that you won't see the inconsistencies; that things that otherwise might jar you to alertness end up being lulled to sleep. I know what that is like, I've been there and done that and it is not going to happen again.
The other day two of my friends said that they left their parent denomination for this church because their old church believed in infant baptism and they no longer did. Which is their choice. But what I didn't think to ask them is what about the friends they left behind at their old church. How did they make the break and how was it received?
When I left the Catholic church it was relatively easy because I hadn't made any real relationships there. I was just another body in the pew. When I walked through the doors of this church I was welcomed. But nobody asked what my beliefs were or even if I had any. The same thing when I was not going to church, I had people tell me I ought to be going and now that I am they are happy. Not once did the subject of belief come up which I find odd because we are talking about an organization that is based on shared beliefs. When Pastor encourages us to invite people to church or evangelize to them the subject of what they believe never comes up either. I am not so sure that is such a good idea.
In the meantime it does put me in an awkward position because unless I change my views (which is not likely) I am not eligible for membership or to even receive what they call Communion (an oyster cracker and juice). Every Sunday the tray comes around and every Sunday I quietly pass it by. So far nobody has said anything but I am sure they must notice. But how does one explain? I suppose I could take the juice and cracker but I don't feel right about it. It's a matter of respect. Moreover it is a matter of truth. If I took it I would be lying about my beliefs.
So how does one walk away from a situation like that? Because I have no doubt at all that if I came right out and said "Look, I don't agree with you on certain key issues and that is not likely to change," they would first attempt to make me see the error of my ways--they would hammer on about pride--then when that did not work they would turn away. You see, I know that about them. So I have the advantage in one way. I have no illusions that these friendships would last once I stopped attending services. Meanwhile I am enjoying the ride while I can.
So now we have The Edge along with Freshwater or is it Clearwater, The Gathering Place and mine which I will leave anonymous but which too has a trendy hip name.
Once upon a time you could look at a church's name and know what you were getting. First Church of Christ. First Reformed. Trinity Lutheran. St. Mary Catholic. And so on and so forth. With these little churches which are springing up all over the place there is no telling what is on the other side of those doors. I have been going to mine for over a year and I am STILL finding out what they are about. Things they don't tell you up front. Things they don't tell you openly.
Such as: women are not permitted leadership roles
Such as: secular science is on the wrong path and only young-earth creationism is correct
Such as: everything in the Bible no matter how absurd or improbable is true and by the way there are no errors or contradictions to be found in it.
I could go on with many other examples such as views on homosexuality and abortion but you get the picture. The problem is that once you have found out these things then what do you do? By that time perhaps you have made friends. That's one thing these churches are all very very good at. Building a community. That's no small deal if you are like myself and live alone and have no family members nearby. Even for those of us on the spectrum community is important; if it weren't, why are so many threads dedicated to relationships and getting along with others? Deep down inside none of us really want to be alone.
And these churches pick up on it. I believe that the friendliness they show newcomers is genuine enough in that I don't think it is faked but it is definitely based on the assumption that everyone who walks through their doors shares their theology. Or will share once they know what it is.
Last Sunday we sang a song about how a relationship with Jesus is supposed to be more than falling in love than giving my allegiance to a set of rules and beliefs. Well, yeah, I can identify with the sentiment in that song--if I could only believe that there really WAS someone to fall in love with. Otherwise it just denigrates rationality. And even in love you still need to keep your rationality, at least I think so. But there's a lot of folks out there who let their brains go out the window when love is concerned--just look on the daily news. Maybe that's the point--that you are supposed to fall so wildly in love with this idea that is being sold that you won't see the inconsistencies; that things that otherwise might jar you to alertness end up being lulled to sleep. I know what that is like, I've been there and done that and it is not going to happen again.
The other day two of my friends said that they left their parent denomination for this church because their old church believed in infant baptism and they no longer did. Which is their choice. But what I didn't think to ask them is what about the friends they left behind at their old church. How did they make the break and how was it received?
When I left the Catholic church it was relatively easy because I hadn't made any real relationships there. I was just another body in the pew. When I walked through the doors of this church I was welcomed. But nobody asked what my beliefs were or even if I had any. The same thing when I was not going to church, I had people tell me I ought to be going and now that I am they are happy. Not once did the subject of belief come up which I find odd because we are talking about an organization that is based on shared beliefs. When Pastor encourages us to invite people to church or evangelize to them the subject of what they believe never comes up either. I am not so sure that is such a good idea.
In the meantime it does put me in an awkward position because unless I change my views (which is not likely) I am not eligible for membership or to even receive what they call Communion (an oyster cracker and juice). Every Sunday the tray comes around and every Sunday I quietly pass it by. So far nobody has said anything but I am sure they must notice. But how does one explain? I suppose I could take the juice and cracker but I don't feel right about it. It's a matter of respect. Moreover it is a matter of truth. If I took it I would be lying about my beliefs.
So how does one walk away from a situation like that? Because I have no doubt at all that if I came right out and said "Look, I don't agree with you on certain key issues and that is not likely to change," they would first attempt to make me see the error of my ways--they would hammer on about pride--then when that did not work they would turn away. You see, I know that about them. So I have the advantage in one way. I have no illusions that these friendships would last once I stopped attending services. Meanwhile I am enjoying the ride while I can.
