WARNING. I am going to step on some people's toes here and if they are easily offended, they should not read this post.
Ayn Rand said once that she thought women in general were not as smart as men. Once I would have bristled to read something like that, but the older I get and the more I see of life the more I tend to agree with her.
I just got called out on a forum for being "abusive" in my comments. Now, first off, I want to say that it doesn't bother me one bit. I said what I said and the way I said it for a reason and if anyone is still with me so far I will try to explain. It was not to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. It was more of an Ann Landers "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee" type thing.
I am a big believer in facing reality and I don't like it when I see denial happening, and in this particular case I do think there is denial going on. However, I do not have to live with the consequences. So you can call me all the names you want. It does not affect me. What upsets me about this situation is that I can go to almost any forum and find similar stories of relationship trouble, nearly all of them written by young women who are greatly upset about the situation they are in, yet if anyone dares suggest that perhaps they ought to rethink what is going on, all of a sudden the situation/boyfriend is not so bad anymore and the person who suggested that is now the villain. If you are still with me after this and I haven't stepped on your toes and offended you, quite frankly I have little patience for this sort of game and I am not the only one either.
Now for a bit of history and maybe after you get through this you will understand why this upsets me so much. When I was growing up women did not have many choices in life and women of color even less. I remember looking through the want ads for my first job and seeing "Help Wanted--Male", "Help Wanted--Female." Nowadays this would be unthinkable. But that was the way things were.
In the city not far from where I live there is a red brick Victorian building tucked away amid the more modern buildings. Most people drive by it without a thought. But this building is actually quite significant in terms of women's history. In 1870 a group of women wanted to form a library association and they wanted a building to call their own. However, at that time in Michigan no woman could own property in her own name. It had to be in a male relative's name. The ladies, however, persisted, and got the legislature to change the law. Because of these women, I am able to purchase property in my own name. Every time I drive by that building I say a silent "thank you" to them.
In the United States women have only been allowed to vote since 1920. That is not even one hundred years ago. Think of it. And again, more recently, women were excluded from many jobs and professions. Even college was not really pushed for women. It was considered more important for men to have degrees. If a woman went to college, everyone said she was looking for her MRS degree. I wrote in one of my earlier blogs that when I was growing up only white males were allowed to dream.
So I hope you can see where I am going with this. All these things did not come on a silver platter but were hard-won by courageous and persistent women. When I see young women get into relationships that everyone around them but them can see are not good, I think, did these women struggle in vain? Is that what the feminists from 1870 to 1970 fought for?
I still remember one day several years ago when I was getting out of my car in a parking lot and two people, a man and a woman, got out of the car next to me. He said to her, "*****, hurry up. I have to pee." My jaw dropped open as she meekly followed him towards the building. No, I did not know anything about those people, but those six words, especially the first, told me everything I needed to know about that relationship. But had I stepped in, I am sure that after her boyfriend? husband? finished flattening me, she would have told me to mind my own business as well. Is this what the feminists fought for? The right to be called "*****" in public? I can tell you that the first time a significant other used that term to describe me it would damn well be the last, because he would be by himself in no time flat. My parents did not raise me to be called "*****", they did not raise me to be some man's punching bag. My mother always told me, there are worse things in life than not finding a man. Finding the wrong one is infinitely worse. And if you reads my blogs you will know that I am no fan of poverty or the choices that lead to poverty. Hence I do come down hard on young women I see making major life mistakes. If that is abuse so be it.
Which leads me to birth control. The abortion clinics and crisis pregnancy centers are full of sobbing young women who did not think that they would get pregnant. Who thought that they could "forget" a few times. Again, I have no patience with this sort of BS. Let me tell you the people who run both have a vested interest in young women being careless with birth control. It's good business for them. Maybe not for the same reasons, but yes, that is why they stay in business. It is YOUR misery they are profiting from. So if I say to someone that they are a fool for playing pregnancy roulette, am I being abusive or am I simply calling a spade a spade? Is this really what the women's movement fought for? Well . . . sometimes I just wonder with their insistence on reproductive freedom. But again, think, who profits? Who profits from your choice?
Back in the nineteenth century, if you've ever read any historical novels set in that time, women were linked with children in terms of intelligence and capability. They were not considered capable of making their own decisions and certainly not big decisions. I sometimes wonder if those nineteenth century men were right, when I see some of the choices women today make. They thought women were fools. I hate to say it: some of us are.
Now that I have finished stepping on people's toes, you can let the mudslinging begin. But first, if the shoe fits . . .
Ayn Rand said once that she thought women in general were not as smart as men. Once I would have bristled to read something like that, but the older I get and the more I see of life the more I tend to agree with her.
I just got called out on a forum for being "abusive" in my comments. Now, first off, I want to say that it doesn't bother me one bit. I said what I said and the way I said it for a reason and if anyone is still with me so far I will try to explain. It was not to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. It was more of an Ann Landers "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee" type thing.
I am a big believer in facing reality and I don't like it when I see denial happening, and in this particular case I do think there is denial going on. However, I do not have to live with the consequences. So you can call me all the names you want. It does not affect me. What upsets me about this situation is that I can go to almost any forum and find similar stories of relationship trouble, nearly all of them written by young women who are greatly upset about the situation they are in, yet if anyone dares suggest that perhaps they ought to rethink what is going on, all of a sudden the situation/boyfriend is not so bad anymore and the person who suggested that is now the villain. If you are still with me after this and I haven't stepped on your toes and offended you, quite frankly I have little patience for this sort of game and I am not the only one either.
Now for a bit of history and maybe after you get through this you will understand why this upsets me so much. When I was growing up women did not have many choices in life and women of color even less. I remember looking through the want ads for my first job and seeing "Help Wanted--Male", "Help Wanted--Female." Nowadays this would be unthinkable. But that was the way things were.
In the city not far from where I live there is a red brick Victorian building tucked away amid the more modern buildings. Most people drive by it without a thought. But this building is actually quite significant in terms of women's history. In 1870 a group of women wanted to form a library association and they wanted a building to call their own. However, at that time in Michigan no woman could own property in her own name. It had to be in a male relative's name. The ladies, however, persisted, and got the legislature to change the law. Because of these women, I am able to purchase property in my own name. Every time I drive by that building I say a silent "thank you" to them.
In the United States women have only been allowed to vote since 1920. That is not even one hundred years ago. Think of it. And again, more recently, women were excluded from many jobs and professions. Even college was not really pushed for women. It was considered more important for men to have degrees. If a woman went to college, everyone said she was looking for her MRS degree. I wrote in one of my earlier blogs that when I was growing up only white males were allowed to dream.
So I hope you can see where I am going with this. All these things did not come on a silver platter but were hard-won by courageous and persistent women. When I see young women get into relationships that everyone around them but them can see are not good, I think, did these women struggle in vain? Is that what the feminists from 1870 to 1970 fought for?
I still remember one day several years ago when I was getting out of my car in a parking lot and two people, a man and a woman, got out of the car next to me. He said to her, "*****, hurry up. I have to pee." My jaw dropped open as she meekly followed him towards the building. No, I did not know anything about those people, but those six words, especially the first, told me everything I needed to know about that relationship. But had I stepped in, I am sure that after her boyfriend? husband? finished flattening me, she would have told me to mind my own business as well. Is this what the feminists fought for? The right to be called "*****" in public? I can tell you that the first time a significant other used that term to describe me it would damn well be the last, because he would be by himself in no time flat. My parents did not raise me to be called "*****", they did not raise me to be some man's punching bag. My mother always told me, there are worse things in life than not finding a man. Finding the wrong one is infinitely worse. And if you reads my blogs you will know that I am no fan of poverty or the choices that lead to poverty. Hence I do come down hard on young women I see making major life mistakes. If that is abuse so be it.
Which leads me to birth control. The abortion clinics and crisis pregnancy centers are full of sobbing young women who did not think that they would get pregnant. Who thought that they could "forget" a few times. Again, I have no patience with this sort of BS. Let me tell you the people who run both have a vested interest in young women being careless with birth control. It's good business for them. Maybe not for the same reasons, but yes, that is why they stay in business. It is YOUR misery they are profiting from. So if I say to someone that they are a fool for playing pregnancy roulette, am I being abusive or am I simply calling a spade a spade? Is this really what the women's movement fought for? Well . . . sometimes I just wonder with their insistence on reproductive freedom. But again, think, who profits? Who profits from your choice?
Back in the nineteenth century, if you've ever read any historical novels set in that time, women were linked with children in terms of intelligence and capability. They were not considered capable of making their own decisions and certainly not big decisions. I sometimes wonder if those nineteenth century men were right, when I see some of the choices women today make. They thought women were fools. I hate to say it: some of us are.
Now that I have finished stepping on people's toes, you can let the mudslinging begin. But first, if the shoe fits . . .
