In my last blog I discussed Catholicism in some detail. Now I am going to look at other religions that I have observed that pose particular problems when one of the couple does not belong to that faith. Please keep in mind that I do not know these religions from the inside out and I may be misstating things, if so, I'd be happy to stand corrected.
First is Judaism. Now, the information that I am offering here came from a Reform Rabbi in an Introductory Judaism class, just to let you know. Basically, all three branches of Judaism are very concerned at the high rate of intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews. They don't like it, to put it bluntly, because they feel that it could lead to the eventual extinction of the Jewish religion/people. So if you are a non-Jew in a relationship with a Jew, do not expect to receive support for your relationship from other Jews. Furthermore, the majority opinion (and the law of the State of Israel) is that to be considered a Jew, you must be born of a Jewish mother. I leave you to imagine the kind of in-law conflicts that could arise from a Jewish man getting involved with a non-Jewish woman, especially if his parents are very observant and he is the only son. And, unlike Catholicism, Judaism strongly discourages converts. Conversion is a long and difficult process and if I understood this rabbi correctly, it is not up to the would-be convert to decide whether he or she is accepted. That decision, whether to admit someone into membership as a Jew, belongs to the synagogue or temple officials. They have the right to turn applicants down. Again, as with Catholicism, there are, depending on the branch of Judaism, internal marriage laws regarding when and how to have sex, and deliberate childlessness is also frowned upon as being a violation of the commandment "be fruitful and multiply." I won't go into all the other laws except to say that there are a lot of them, there is a lot of disagreement about them, and they cover almost every aspect of life.
About Islam I know very little. It doesn't seem to have as many laws as Judaism but it does have them and they do affect all areas of life. There's been quite a bit of publicity about the position of women under Islam so I won't go into that either except that it does vary from place to place. I understand that Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside the faith or at least very strongly discouraged from doing so. It's very easy to convert to Islam but once you have done so, if you change your mind you may be putting your life at risk depending on where you live. Again, be forewarned. These are not minor things.
Mormons - I'm not sure what the official position of the Mormon church is regarding mixed marriages, whether they actively discourage them or are neutral about them. I do know that there are rituals that are off-limits to outsiders (gentiles) and that there are two forms of marriage. One is for time and the other is for eternity. Obviously, non-Mormons can't participate in being married for eternity as it involves those off-limits temple rituals. I also understand that polygamy is making an illegal comeback despite it being against the teaching of the church. There are probably other considerations; best to find out what they are before you get in too deep.
Jehovah's Witnesses. From what little I have seen and heard about from others, the JW's are an insular society that distrusts outsiders and any non-believer that marries into them had better be prepared for second-class treatment. Most full-blown Witnesses won't consider marrying outside the faith. The danger is when you have a lukewarm or lapsed Witness who marries an outsider and then returns to the fold. This goes true for all the others I have mentioned as well. People do change their religious beliefs and sometimes those changes can be an unpleasant surprise to someone who thought he or she was getting something only to find out down the road that they were actually getting something else. So it does make sense to inquire into someone's religious background even if they are not practicing at the time. You want to be prepared.
It is not my intent to offend anyone here, just to point out that interfaith relationships, while workable, do pose challenges and it is best to be informed. Religions by their nature make claims on their followers that outsiders can't always understand or appreciate, and it is very easy to underestimate the emotional ties a religion can have on someone--even years later when they thought that they had rejected all that. It's a very real bond and should not be minimized.
First is Judaism. Now, the information that I am offering here came from a Reform Rabbi in an Introductory Judaism class, just to let you know. Basically, all three branches of Judaism are very concerned at the high rate of intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews. They don't like it, to put it bluntly, because they feel that it could lead to the eventual extinction of the Jewish religion/people. So if you are a non-Jew in a relationship with a Jew, do not expect to receive support for your relationship from other Jews. Furthermore, the majority opinion (and the law of the State of Israel) is that to be considered a Jew, you must be born of a Jewish mother. I leave you to imagine the kind of in-law conflicts that could arise from a Jewish man getting involved with a non-Jewish woman, especially if his parents are very observant and he is the only son. And, unlike Catholicism, Judaism strongly discourages converts. Conversion is a long and difficult process and if I understood this rabbi correctly, it is not up to the would-be convert to decide whether he or she is accepted. That decision, whether to admit someone into membership as a Jew, belongs to the synagogue or temple officials. They have the right to turn applicants down. Again, as with Catholicism, there are, depending on the branch of Judaism, internal marriage laws regarding when and how to have sex, and deliberate childlessness is also frowned upon as being a violation of the commandment "be fruitful and multiply." I won't go into all the other laws except to say that there are a lot of them, there is a lot of disagreement about them, and they cover almost every aspect of life.
About Islam I know very little. It doesn't seem to have as many laws as Judaism but it does have them and they do affect all areas of life. There's been quite a bit of publicity about the position of women under Islam so I won't go into that either except that it does vary from place to place. I understand that Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside the faith or at least very strongly discouraged from doing so. It's very easy to convert to Islam but once you have done so, if you change your mind you may be putting your life at risk depending on where you live. Again, be forewarned. These are not minor things.
Mormons - I'm not sure what the official position of the Mormon church is regarding mixed marriages, whether they actively discourage them or are neutral about them. I do know that there are rituals that are off-limits to outsiders (gentiles) and that there are two forms of marriage. One is for time and the other is for eternity. Obviously, non-Mormons can't participate in being married for eternity as it involves those off-limits temple rituals. I also understand that polygamy is making an illegal comeback despite it being against the teaching of the church. There are probably other considerations; best to find out what they are before you get in too deep.
Jehovah's Witnesses. From what little I have seen and heard about from others, the JW's are an insular society that distrusts outsiders and any non-believer that marries into them had better be prepared for second-class treatment. Most full-blown Witnesses won't consider marrying outside the faith. The danger is when you have a lukewarm or lapsed Witness who marries an outsider and then returns to the fold. This goes true for all the others I have mentioned as well. People do change their religious beliefs and sometimes those changes can be an unpleasant surprise to someone who thought he or she was getting something only to find out down the road that they were actually getting something else. So it does make sense to inquire into someone's religious background even if they are not practicing at the time. You want to be prepared.
It is not my intent to offend anyone here, just to point out that interfaith relationships, while workable, do pose challenges and it is best to be informed. Religions by their nature make claims on their followers that outsiders can't always understand or appreciate, and it is very easy to underestimate the emotional ties a religion can have on someone--even years later when they thought that they had rejected all that. It's a very real bond and should not be minimized.
