Dating: How can I get a girlfriend?

[Markness]

My family thinks that idea is ludicrous yet their own relationships tend to be tumultuous.

 

[tree]

They think the idea of people with like interests socializing
together is ludicrous?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Think OP should just be happy he does not have my issue. Wife and her friend want to go to different night club tomorrow tonight. friend wants to drink and socialize wife is driver. So can at most have one drink. I could drive wife not comfortable with me driving since stroke. Having a girl friend is the least of his issues. not as black and white as he thinks.
the potential mate is not put on earth to make him happy if he does not put some effort in finding his own happiness.

 

[Markness]

They think the idea of people with like interests socializing
together is ludicrous?

With the exception of my younger brother, my family thinks romantic relationships are based around how much money can be raised together.

 

[tree]

With the exception of my younger brother, my family thinks romantic relationships are based around how much money can be raised together.

That's a common interest.

A narrow interest, but one that people might share.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

@Markness your starting to remind me of my wife's male best friend lots of medical issues no girlfriend. Found out today he had his hours reduced. Life revolves around his job lives in rented basement.one leg missing needs oxygen. We have spare bedroom. Gave him offer to join our small family unit he gets pension with wages. turns 69 in a couple of months. cannot help someone who does not help themselves. always has excuses why his life sucks. During covid landlady would not allow guests he should learn from my wife when she rented a room 50 years ago and found the land ladies kid sleeping on her bed she immediately moved. Life is what you make it.my wife's male friend has two female friends who care for him the other lady was a brides maid at our wedding. I have asked both ladies why did neither one have a serios relationship with him friends only. Same answer from both his woe why me attitude. the other lady is currently single divorced 40 years later still just friends he has two loyal female friends, still cannot see past his nose.

 

[Markness]

That's a common interest.

A narrow interest, but one that people might share.

My family tends to have narrow outlooks on life and society.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Markness you're still a young guy. do not turn into my wife's buddy. you have to forge the path We can help but cannot do it for you.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My family tends to have narrow outlooks on life and society.

I find that narrow outlooks are "brittle" in that, when confronted with a nonconforming reality, there is no there, there.

But, the lesson, Markness, is to get involved with interest groups, and find those that value cooperation. Dress appropriately, have no preconceptions other than you will enjoy being with the people, contribute, recognize that in an accepting group you have value. And remember, there are probably women in such groups looking for a man they can share their interest with.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Went to karaoke bar with wife's and her friend meet other friends popular local bar playing pool bit on singing women dancing. If you do not put yourself out their it will not happen on its own. Fortunately, my wife likes social media and they plan these ad hoc togethers. Keep in mind a long journey starts with the first step mine started with a new tenant. Introducing myself to her and helping her put together a dresser with no tools.

 

[rse92]

God helps those who themselves, son.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Well said and I"M agnostic.

 

[mysterionz]

I still don’t have an answer to this question myself

 

[Markness]

I still don’t have an answer to this question myself

I am considered a loser by society for not knowing what to do.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Most of society does not spend a lot of time thinking of you me or anyone else. Worrying about what society thinks is a bit pointless.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am considered a loser by society for not knowing what to do.

You know what to do.
1. Understand your value. You have interests and values that make you an interesting person.
2. Live independently. Demonstrate that you are your own person.
3. Be active in things that interest you.
4. Learn social communication. Figure out how to engage with people.
5. Eat healthy. Dress in styles that flatter yourself.
6. Recognize the worthwhile women, the accepting, the kind.
7. Approach women and be prepared to hear many NOs. Develop a thick skin
8. Do not give up trying for connection.

 

[Rodafina]

I am considered a loser by society for not knowing what to do.

Society is not a monolith. It is comprised of individuals who all have different thoughts and feelings. Most of “society” doesn’t know you at all. This gives you evidence to challenge your negative thoughts here.

 

[Jordy]

But there is no cut-off age

I mean surely at 70-80 its pretty much over.

 

[Aspychata]

Yup. Texas culture is rough, if you're not into it. Just to give you a heads up.

 

[Jordy]

God helps those who themselves, son.

Sounds to me he just likes to take credit after you already did everything yourself.