What's your excuse?

[Butterfly88]

Because you need to be in the cold to combat the heat of the fire.

Why am I an aspie?

 

[Reedstorm17]

Because you're awesome.

Why didn't I study for math?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because art and English are more important since they come before math in the alphabet.

Why can't I rate the above post winner twice?

 

[vangelis]

Because it would look too sycophantic.

Why do I procrastinate so much?

 

[inabox]

Because it's good for the soul.
Why has nobody tidied my kitchen?!

 

[Reedstorm17]

What kitchen?

Why are there so many birds in my yard?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because your cat is wonderful and doesn't eat birds.

Why aren't doughnuts healthy?

 

[vangelis]

Because life isn't fair

Why did I get up late today?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because your alarm was on strike and decided not to ring.

Why are dogs carnivores?

 

[vangelis]

Because they would look silly eating broccoli

Why did I get mistaken for a girl today?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because you were eating Girl Scout cookies.

Why is the sky blue?

 

[tree]

I didn't do it. You'd have to ask whoever made it.

Why doesn't anybody tell me a good way to stop jerky spammers?

 

[Butterfly88]

Throw them beef jerky and canned spam, that should distract them long enough so they leave everyone alone.

Why are malls so loud and crowded?

 

[tree]

If you'd stop making such a fuss every time you go,
it would be so much quieter. It's not all that crowded,
it's just seems that way because everybody is watching
you.

What is your excuse for not bringing anything to the potluck?

 

[Butterfly88]

I'm trying to lose weight so I didn't want to bring anything I would like. I could bring something I don't like but I wouldn't want to force you to eat icky food.

Why didn't you go see the Olympics in person this year?

 

[Buzzerfly]

Because the Olympics suck!

Why werent you the God parent of my children?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because your children wouldn't stop buzzing and I'm a butterfly not a bee.

Why didn't you try my tofu spring rolls?

 

[tree]

There wasn't enough evidence to warrant bringing them to trial.

Why haven't you fixed the latch on the door?

 

[Buzzerfly]

I didn't know it was broken! I thought you left it open on purpose so I could come in after 2AM each night in search of things I might need.

Why aren't you a bubblier person?

 

[Butterfly88]

Because I sold all my bubbles on eBay so I ran out.

Why did you buy my bubbles on eBay?