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Just To Start Things Off (calling all girls)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Willow
  • Start date Start date
ImAnAspie said:
But that's how it is for a lot of men who get nothing their whole lives. Anything is better than nothing after an entire life of nothing. The men I'm speaking of will take anything. They can't afford to be choosy because if they do manage to find someone else who shows interest in them, it's likely to be their only chance of getting anything. Beggars can't be choosers!
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But wouldn't you consider wondering why someone is taking an interest? it's the first thing I wonder (even though I've been fairly active in relations in my adult life)

And honestly, if you're not wondering that, if you're middle aged and suddenly get harassed and settle for that, you might have other issues going on. Self-worth being one.
 
King_Oni said:
But wouldn't you consider wondering why someone is taking an interest? it's the first thing I wonder (even though I've been fairly active in relations in my adult life)

And honestly, if you're not wondering that, if you're middle aged and suddenly get harassed and settle for that, you might have other issues going on. Self-worth being one.
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Of course you'd wonder why, after years and years of no one wanting you, if someone was to show an interest, of course you would be suspicious but you wouldn't let that stand in the way of a possible first contact. But it never happens anyway so this is all just hypothetical.
 
I definitely think there are problems that only women Aspies experience (sorry boys) but y'all don't have to deal with sensory issues with your bras.
 
Those experiences definitely seem familiar, but the way I have always viewed it is that we are just good at faking our way through normal, but maybe that's just me. It's like, you have to "act normal" just to get along in life, be accepted, not stand out, etc. I may be swearing up a storm or having a long philosophical conversation with myself my head, or whatever, but what I exhibit to the external world is totally different. This is why I have problems with doctors though, because I also tend not to outwardly express pain though I have severe chronic pain and hypersensitive. They usually act as though I'm lying, I'm just so used to passing myself off publicly as fine when I'm suffering on the inside. I have always had terrible experiences with trying to be social. And O havr no social life now and barely any friends that I see rarely, and even though a lot of that does have to do with my health problems, I have always been like that to some degree, I always have called myself a hermit haha.
 
I've seen a video talk of Dr Simon Baren-Cohen where he said the ratio of male aspies to female was 4:1.
 
StephF,

Apparently from what I read, the women are most likely to have a 'male' brain also. So guess we're out numbered, any way its looked at :/
 
As a girl with Asperger's, I have found that although I tend to have more of a "male" brain, being that I'm really into science and math, but at the same time, I'm as sensitive and emotional as the neurotypical female, if not more so. I'm also easily duped. For example, my relationship with a male friend turned sexual, and during that time, he made promises to marry me and love me forever. I believed them, but he just deserted me one day. He then made attempts to come back into my life a good while later, when I was just starting to heal, only to bring up details of how he's moved on, including details about his current girlfriend. At that point, I had to cut him out of my life for good because I just couldn't take it anymore. Now all the pain of being rejected is back, and I don't know what to do.
 
rachpen95 said:
As a girl with Asperger's, I have found that although I tend to have more of a "male" brain, being that I'm really into science and math, but at the same time, I'm as sensitive and emotional as the neurotypical female, if not more so. I'm also easily duped. For example, my relationship with a male friend turned sexual, and during that time, he made promises to marry me and love me forever. I believed them, but he just deserted me one day. He then made attempts to come back into my life a good while later, when I was just starting to heal, only to bring up details of how he's moved on, including details about his current girlfriend. At that point, I had to cut him out of my life for good because I just couldn't take it anymore. Now all the pain of being rejected is back, and I don't know what to do.
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I can understand this. I had a very similar relationship. I believed in so much, being gullible and so naïve, I had me tied up in knots.
One of my main issues is philophobia (a phobia of getting close to people through a fear of being hurt) and this was the ultimate relationship which totally pushed all of my boundaries etc.

I have a male brain in the respect that I need to escape, but emotionally i'm like an empathy which is just soul destroying as second guessing and that gut instinct is really hard to believe when you've got someone accusing you of being paranoid.

I will never be a doormat again, that's a fact. Lesson learnt, which was exactly all I needed from this man in the first place.
 
I have not heard this thing about a 'male' brain. But I was only diagnosed about a month ago.
I would definitely like to have a place to talk to female aspies, simply because as far as I have understood from my therapist and the internet, Aspergers effect males and females differently, because of the society we grew up in. I know a few male aspies in real life but no females.
And the ways males and females interact socially is also different.
Nothing against males, plenty of questions I would ask everyone, but some of them just makes more sense to get females perspectives
 
We tend to get diagnosed later because we're thought to be just shy, that was definitely the case for me. Otherwise I don't feel I'm any different to the males with Asperger's. Maybe I'm missing something, not sure.
 
rachpen95 said:
That makes sense. I sort of have the more "male" tendency to escape as well.
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From what I've come to conclude for me personally is that had I have had an upbringing by where my mom was a 'more traditional mother figure' then I would likely have learned 'how to be more nurturing myself'.

And for me reading so much, this stands out to me to be a possible main reason for why women do not necessarily 'stand out'.

Given (again personally) the fact that I didn't have a loving, caring, nurturing upbringing ie being included in cookery, having craft sessions in the family home, being limited in interests.... kind of made me especially dumb in the way I acted. Little kids should be seen but not heard was a very harsh reality for me, so I grew up with limited knowledge.

I can only figure that for women may be this is the actual problem? In respect that a 'girl' would be included in girly things within their home and hence would not be seen as 'unusual' in their older years?!
 
I too am heavily into science & math. I love how these academic fields can explain in great detail the world and me in the world. I've never been into the standard female stereotype, not into nurture at all.

Give me a screwdriver and a multimeter and I will try and understand the world. :cool:
 
Cool. Math is cool. It's a tool though.
Wanna learn math, better go to school, bro.
Don't be a fool, yo.
Got that cool flow?
Then spit those rhymes.
Bad stomach? [deleted] 4 times.
Smoked a lot and ate too much of kitch
Now the bowl ache is such a [deleted].
Fate is such a [deleted], hate is just a switch;
All right, nuff rhymes today;
Got that medical stuff, smoke 5 times a day.
don't do coke though, and I don't smoke though;
Used to, but those times are over
Keeping it nice and sober.
 
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