Another entry for my blog,
Something from the captain's log.
Describing a day in the life of me,
It may not be your cup of tea.
I guess I begin at the start of the day,
Going to sleep, 'hitting the hay'.
That's around two or three in the morning,
Long after the time I've started yawning.
Crawl into bed, push cat to the side,
Or I'll wake up early with claws in my hide.
Spend half an hour of restless cognition,
Likely that's due to my wonky condition.
Eventually passing the threshold of stupor,
A kitty tray landscape and I'm the scooper.
So after some hours of fishing out turds,
I finally start to hear the words...
"Wake up you lazy and useless dude!",
But it's only the cat, wanting some food.
I can't blame kitty for wailing and whining,
When all that he wants is some decent dining.
So downstairs I stumble and put on some coffee,
A lovely espresso thicker than toffee.
While that's a heating I feed the beast,
Of all I could do, that is the least.
Open the door for his morning dump,
Finish my coffee and sit on my rump.
Groaning and moaning and cursing the light,
Wishing if only it could still be night.
Pulling a comb cross my hirsuted face,
Avoiding the mirror, the sights a disgrace!
Eventually drag myself up to the backroom,
Start the work laptop and login real soon.
Check that boss is offline as normal,
Before feeling safe to act all informal.
Fire up a script to make me look active,
Covering up that I'm just unreactive.
Settle back down to sleep for the morning,
Probably getting a last written warning.
Wake up at one, and go for a shower,
30 mins later I take a lunch hour.
After all that I'm totally knackered,
Done so much today I'm already shattered.
Best take a break for the rest of the day,
The boss still offline, I hope and I pray.
Come 5pm I wake up and shut down,
All thoughts of work just a brief passing frown.
Now I can see what the internet brings,
Mails and posts and all sorts of things.
Chewing up news from the online media,
Look up obscure meanings in wikipedia.
Reference subjects of which I don't know,
Increasing the signal to noise ratio.
Spending the rest of the evening like that,
Until I remember I've locked out the cat!
Rush back downstairs, the poor lad's crying,
Anyone would think that the bugger is dying.
Fill up his bowl with some freshly cooked fish,
Pile up some munchies in his other dish.
Top up the water and give him a stroke.
Glue his toys to the floor as a practical joke.
By the time all that's done, and I've had my fun,
The clock has now reached a quarter to one.
So I'll spend the next hour or maybe two,
Thinking of rhymes to make you eshew
Reading my blogs, ever again,
Just to avoid the excruciating pain.
So now that it's near to three pm,
And so I'll repeat the ongoing mayhem.
Something from the captain's log.
Describing a day in the life of me,
It may not be your cup of tea.
I guess I begin at the start of the day,
Going to sleep, 'hitting the hay'.
That's around two or three in the morning,
Long after the time I've started yawning.
Crawl into bed, push cat to the side,
Or I'll wake up early with claws in my hide.
Spend half an hour of restless cognition,
Likely that's due to my wonky condition.
Eventually passing the threshold of stupor,
A kitty tray landscape and I'm the scooper.
So after some hours of fishing out turds,
I finally start to hear the words...
"Wake up you lazy and useless dude!",
But it's only the cat, wanting some food.
I can't blame kitty for wailing and whining,
When all that he wants is some decent dining.
So downstairs I stumble and put on some coffee,
A lovely espresso thicker than toffee.
While that's a heating I feed the beast,
Of all I could do, that is the least.
Open the door for his morning dump,
Finish my coffee and sit on my rump.
Groaning and moaning and cursing the light,
Wishing if only it could still be night.
Pulling a comb cross my hirsuted face,
Avoiding the mirror, the sights a disgrace!
Eventually drag myself up to the backroom,
Start the work laptop and login real soon.
Check that boss is offline as normal,
Before feeling safe to act all informal.
Fire up a script to make me look active,
Covering up that I'm just unreactive.
Settle back down to sleep for the morning,
Probably getting a last written warning.
Wake up at one, and go for a shower,
30 mins later I take a lunch hour.
After all that I'm totally knackered,
Done so much today I'm already shattered.
Best take a break for the rest of the day,
The boss still offline, I hope and I pray.
Come 5pm I wake up and shut down,
All thoughts of work just a brief passing frown.
Now I can see what the internet brings,
Mails and posts and all sorts of things.
Chewing up news from the online media,
Look up obscure meanings in wikipedia.
Reference subjects of which I don't know,
Increasing the signal to noise ratio.
Spending the rest of the evening like that,
Until I remember I've locked out the cat!
Rush back downstairs, the poor lad's crying,
Anyone would think that the bugger is dying.
Fill up his bowl with some freshly cooked fish,
Pile up some munchies in his other dish.
Top up the water and give him a stroke.
Glue his toys to the floor as a practical joke.
By the time all that's done, and I've had my fun,
The clock has now reached a quarter to one.
So I'll spend the next hour or maybe two,
Thinking of rhymes to make you eshew
Reading my blogs, ever again,
Just to avoid the excruciating pain.
So now that it's near to three pm,
And so I'll repeat the ongoing mayhem.
