A little confused.

So I've been dating this guy, and I am really starting to fall for him. He is very sweet, but is moody like I, and does not understand how hard communication is for me. I have told him about my son being on the spectrum, and he knows a little about it but not in depth. I have not told him I am scared to because of what previous people have said once I told them. I am finding it difficult to have conversations about my emotions,when on the inside I am crying out and screaming them. I don't even know how to approach him about the topic. I have a 40 page research paper focused mainly on adults with AS and I am going to leave it out so maybe he will read it and get a clue. I consider myself dysfunctional, and long to be able to just say what I feel, but its like my mind goes blank and I become a emotionless statue(especially in confrontation) while freaking out and panicking for the right words. I usually get so frustrated everything I say just comes out wrong, then in comes a meltdown. Maybe I will never be able to truly express my feelings. I have noticed I can't even handle work stress, its getting harder everyday to deal with. I've been having panic and anxiety attacks, excessive crying, its like what the hell is going on. I have been told to "talk" to someone, by some close people, but even that terrifies me. I didn't realize my social avoidance and frustration of not knowing what emotion I should be feeling was affecting me like this. What it boils down to is, I don't want to lose someone because of a communication/social barrier.

Thoughts?

On a positive note, I started school for dialysis technician, like it so far only 9 other people, and I can sit far away from everyone.