Well, my friend and I went to the financial aid office the other day. It's a good thing I wasn't expecting much because that is exactly what happened. Not much.
Apparently, although I am not eligible for a Pell Grant I clearly demonstrate "need". Huh? Isn't that a contradiction, to say someone has "need" but then say they are not eligible for help? If you're not eligible based on income, then you don't "need", right?
Now, long before we came to this point, my friend had been filling my head full of fairy tales about all the help that was out there for "nontraditional students" like myself. She made it sound like the financial aid people would be falling all over themselves to get me to sign up. She also said that getting a degree would double my pay. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Well, that is why I insisted she come with me. Because I have heard this "oh, there is lots of money out there for you to buy a house/go to school/whatever" song before, only to find out that when I actually sit down with whoever is in charge of dispensing all this money, suddenly all those options disappear. But it's nothing personal, you see. Anyway I am to blame for my failure because I am just making excuses why I can't. No, people, not everyone has the same options. Those that are at the front of the pack have more choices and more open doors than those in the rear.
Anyway the school did manage to find $800 to fund my education. I suppose I should be grateful. I suppose my rotten attitude is showing big time. But I can't help but think "too little, too late."
And that was that. My need did not extend to, Ok, you can't get the Pell Grant, but let's look at other options, other grants, other scholarships. After all, I have been told there is all this money out there waiting for someone like me, all you have to do is go and get it. Ok, where are they? Isn't it YOUR job as financial aid counselor to know what these things are and inform your clients about them? And my friend, why aren't you speaking up? Why aren't you asking, "I know there is aid out there for nontraditional students, so what are our options?" Eight hundred dollars. That will cover about 3/4 of my costs. I can manage the rest somewhere. But then this woman, this counselor, had the nerve to ask me if I planned to go on and get a Bachelor's Degree. With what? You've just seen it in black and white with my IRS forms and my FAFSA, you've just told me that there isn't any money available to speak of, and you still think I can go waltz right on out there and get a BS or BA? What planet are you living on? What kind of crack are you smoking?
Here is my advice to those who want to help people like me. First. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Second. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Third. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY KEEP. It is cruel to build someone's hopes up. And especially if you are dealing with a person you know is on the spectrum. You see, we have this really funny attitude towards truth. Towards keeping one's promises and not promising something you can't deliver. I would be bitter about this except that I have long ago gotten past being bitter. I simply don't care.
This same person is very upset about some of the things going on at work. She feels company officials are lying to us about the financial state of the company. She says they are making promises and not keeping them. She asked me, "Was it ever this bad?" I said, "No. It has actually been a lot worse." See. she still expects people to keep their word, to not lie. I don't. I don't expect people to be truthful. If it turns out that they keep their promises, like that $800, that's a bonus. To me it comes down to, knowing that those above me are likely to lie to me, what kind of lies can I live with and what kinds can't I live with.
So you can promise me anything you want. Anything. And I will nod my head and smile and say yes, yes, yes. But that does not mean that I believe a word you say. There is one thing that I do believe in, and that is what is written on my paycheck AFTER I cash it.
Apparently, although I am not eligible for a Pell Grant I clearly demonstrate "need". Huh? Isn't that a contradiction, to say someone has "need" but then say they are not eligible for help? If you're not eligible based on income, then you don't "need", right?
Now, long before we came to this point, my friend had been filling my head full of fairy tales about all the help that was out there for "nontraditional students" like myself. She made it sound like the financial aid people would be falling all over themselves to get me to sign up. She also said that getting a degree would double my pay. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Well, that is why I insisted she come with me. Because I have heard this "oh, there is lots of money out there for you to buy a house/go to school/whatever" song before, only to find out that when I actually sit down with whoever is in charge of dispensing all this money, suddenly all those options disappear. But it's nothing personal, you see. Anyway I am to blame for my failure because I am just making excuses why I can't. No, people, not everyone has the same options. Those that are at the front of the pack have more choices and more open doors than those in the rear.
Anyway the school did manage to find $800 to fund my education. I suppose I should be grateful. I suppose my rotten attitude is showing big time. But I can't help but think "too little, too late."
And that was that. My need did not extend to, Ok, you can't get the Pell Grant, but let's look at other options, other grants, other scholarships. After all, I have been told there is all this money out there waiting for someone like me, all you have to do is go and get it. Ok, where are they? Isn't it YOUR job as financial aid counselor to know what these things are and inform your clients about them? And my friend, why aren't you speaking up? Why aren't you asking, "I know there is aid out there for nontraditional students, so what are our options?" Eight hundred dollars. That will cover about 3/4 of my costs. I can manage the rest somewhere. But then this woman, this counselor, had the nerve to ask me if I planned to go on and get a Bachelor's Degree. With what? You've just seen it in black and white with my IRS forms and my FAFSA, you've just told me that there isn't any money available to speak of, and you still think I can go waltz right on out there and get a BS or BA? What planet are you living on? What kind of crack are you smoking?
Here is my advice to those who want to help people like me. First. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Second. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Third. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY KEEP. It is cruel to build someone's hopes up. And especially if you are dealing with a person you know is on the spectrum. You see, we have this really funny attitude towards truth. Towards keeping one's promises and not promising something you can't deliver. I would be bitter about this except that I have long ago gotten past being bitter. I simply don't care.
This same person is very upset about some of the things going on at work. She feels company officials are lying to us about the financial state of the company. She says they are making promises and not keeping them. She asked me, "Was it ever this bad?" I said, "No. It has actually been a lot worse." See. she still expects people to keep their word, to not lie. I don't. I don't expect people to be truthful. If it turns out that they keep their promises, like that $800, that's a bonus. To me it comes down to, knowing that those above me are likely to lie to me, what kind of lies can I live with and what kinds can't I live with.
So you can promise me anything you want. Anything. And I will nod my head and smile and say yes, yes, yes. But that does not mean that I believe a word you say. There is one thing that I do believe in, and that is what is written on my paycheck AFTER I cash it.
