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Blog entries by Kari Suttle
I feel like i'm just being whiny on here but you guys have yet to get pissed off about it so until you do, I'll just keep venting here. I just feel like such a dead end. Like, if i had only learned to drive, it'd be more bearable. But i never did. Hell i have a car but i haven't ever learned to...
Yesterday was miserable. With the stuff going on locally, and personally, plus the supervisor i hate being present at work yesterday, i was just miserable for half my shift. This supervisor will bark orders and assignments at me from halfway across the front end right as i clock in without so...
Which is a good thing cause I love this feature. I like being able to share my thoughts and have the option for getting peoples opinions back. I was in a great mood at work today, having an unusually good day, until the friendly ZMS guy came over. He's the supervisor I like (who isn't really our...
Feel bad again today. Just woke up like this. My two days off have been terrible. I planned to clean my room and clean it out but none of that happened. My laundry has not even been done and its day off number 2. If I can't even get the 'umph' to clean my room how the hell do I expect to make it...
Successfully got out of going out to lunch with mom. Honestly don't feel like it even if I did like her though. We're still ordering pizza tho lol. Hence 'victory'. Awkward silence plus feeling 'bleh' equals misery and questions I don't want to answer. Glad to know I can fake it with her tho...
Mom's works to my brother still haunt me. Brother came home from work and instead of just going to bed herself, cause it was her normal bedtime, she followed him up to his room and started yelling at him. Something stupid about respect and his messy room. He's doing so well for his age though...
I've got like 20 healing and/or mostly healed cuts from the past 2 weeks that are visible when I wear short sleeves, and yesterday I was like 'who cares' and wore short sleeves at work. It was in the mid to upper 70's yesterday here in Texas so that's why. This was the second day I've dared to...
Title says it all. I just feel like going back to bed tbh. Not even like playing Skyrim. Decided I might want to go for a career as a dietician, but at this point I feel like picking anything will just end up like it did with my failure at attempting a psychology degree. I'm to indecisive. But I...
Had a good New Years Eve, despite working till like 8 last night. Yesterday was hell, with everyone buying stuff for New Years Eve. Beer, food, party stuff. I didn't do anything I just ate pizza, played Skyrim, and watched Netflix lol. Woke up feeling like I had some fun though! Ugh. My head's...
Its the last day of 2016 and I can't wake up. I just wanna call in sick and sleep all day but I know I can't. I'm tired I wanna go to bed not work. All I wanna do is sleep. If I'm awake then i'm tired or lonely or something like that. Unless I'm playing Skyrim or pokemon or some other noteworthy...
So I've been showing my new scars/mostly healed cuts at work on my upper arms for a few days now. Texas weather did its thing and it was randomly gonna be in the 70/80's (fahrenheit) for a few days so I decided to take a chance. As I suspected, no one's said a thing about them although at least...
Like the title says I had an overall decent holiday. Sister got some videogames and I bought myself some so we've taken turns playing them on the PS4. I got myself everything save a few tubes of Christmas chocolates/candy, a box of hot chocolate mixes, and a candle wax warmer from my mom in my...
Title says it all. I'm just gonna buy drinks and bars and call them meals...stuff like carnation breakfast drinks, bolthouse protein drinks, veggie/fruit drinks, meal bars, that sort of thing. I have no motivation to even eat but my body doesn't agree with me, so bars and drinks it is. This is...
Apparently I'm not worth waiting for. I work 10-7 on Saturday, Christmas Eve, and mom doesn't want to move the meal to Christmas Day so we can all eat together, nor does she want to have it later so we can all eat together. I mean its bad enough I miss family time on X-mas eve, she usually has...
I'm betting its at least partially cause I was raised by a mom whose had disordered eating habits that may very well be a full blown eating disorder...but ever since I got to a good healthy weight range for my height I've felt overweight. I was underweight my whole life and so one day I decided...
Apparently after all this time, all these years, mom's still abusing laxatives. I've noticed her taking what she insists are stomach-ache pills and because she does have gallbladder issues I didn't put 2-and-2 together cause I never did see the bottle. But today she went to get groceries and as...
Since I have actual bills to pay now - car insurance and health insurance to two different providers plus student loans - I need a budget. I still want to save money so I can move out and not blow my entire savings doing it, so I'm going to keep it simple. One paycheck is my budget, the other...
I get easily upset and I've discovered that this is because I still react, emotionally, to everything how I would react if it were my mom. Even at work. So while at the end of the day, some sort of self-CBT is what I think is needed, that's a lot of work. So I made some advice someone gave me...
Its amazing, I actually woke up before noon today! Well usually I wake up around 10 but I just could NOT get to sleep last night and I wanted to actually enjoy my day off so I forced myself to set an alarm for 9am. I got woken up by my mom’s clients anyways, though. Also as usual, I just chose...
How do you keep going when the one person whose supposed to love you unconditionally doesn't. It hurts cause if my own mother doesn't think i'm good enough then who else would. Dad's there but he's always been so distant. He's always just stood by and let her throw insults and say demeaning...