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Blog entries by Papillon
All through school you would watch people grow up and leave school onto the next school or graduating school all together, the people that you looked up to. But as you get older you start to notice your friends growing up, wearing “cooler” clothes, talking about relationships and all the latest...
As the whole world starts to disappear from around me and becomes less than reality at the same time as the things around me become seemingly more important and they start feeling as if I’m being watched as if I need to escape as if I need to hide as if the only true escape is to die.
The...
As I stare out the window fixated on what is beyond what I can see wishing that I could become a part of the beyond and disappear so that no one will be able to see me again I realise how looking out the window is like a metaphor for how I feel but also a great physical representation of what I...
Outside there fireworks go off, it is now the 4th hour of this going on and with the anxiety about going to bed increasing its getting too much. My body starts to feel uncomfortable, my stomach does flip flops as I think about the thing that's sitting on my bedside table, the light of my phone...
It feels like the whole world is a world that is separate from yours like all the people and things occurring are separate from your world as if you are the reader of the book who is walking around this universe watching everything happen but unable to participate, seeing what’s about to happen...
While I want this to be a positive letter it can’t be at least completely.
Dear Autism,
Firstly I wanted to say thank you, I want to say thank you for the way in which I see the world if it weren’t for you being a part of me I wouldn’t take photos in the way that I do and take photos of the...
I can’t even remember anything……I need way more sleep than I am getting or maybe just to be less anxious which would use less of my energy, so I would need less sleep in the first place. Anyways now I remember.
Our day started early with going into Queenstown to beat the traffic and the people...
I guess you’ll just have to wait and hear what happens because there’s a lot. Hopefully I remember it all coz well you’ll find out…
Well the day started out with a trip to the supermarket via a camping store which I must say was very cool and stocked many things I hadn’t seen before. The...
First things first WE MADE IT HALF WAY!!!!!!! Who would have thought, I will be home this time next week and I am so so excited but also weary that I still have another week of this hell sort of a situation.
Secondly yesterday was my sisters 13th birthday but don’t tell anyone that because...
Today was wow like there was no other words to describe it and I actually had a good day for once well yes, I’m gonna say it was good but you’ll soon hear about the whole thing. And let me just say that today was reminded me that there is some beauties that a camera cant capture and that only...
This is a very honest blog post so I’m just going to forewarn everyone that self-harm and suicidal thoughts are topics discussed in this entry.
Today was horrible (gosh this is getting worse and worse every day hopefully tomorrow goes okay coz like this is getting very bad very quick) today was...
This day was really rather hard both physically because mum made us walk up a billion hills and mentally because well that’s just not going well.
The morning started with a walk up Baldwin Street the steepest street in New Zealand which took me all of 5 minutes and my family a lot more so as a...
Well a smart person would have written this last night but I didn’t so it might be a little weird and I’m probably going to miss a lot of things but it might make for a shorter post so that will probably suit you guys better.
Yesterday we got on the road early and went off to Larnach Castle, so...
Today While wondering and making notes of the things I might like to share, I guess it was a realization, I realized that the best parts and the funnies parts are funny in the moment and not after and well I always forget to share them.
Today started early again at 6.15 when dad shook the...
Today went a lot better. Still hard but doing a lot better just adjusting to being okay with doing this but I still want to go home a lot but I think it’s actually going to be okay.
My day again started early but not 4am early more 6am early because the light shone through my curtains but I...
Today was hard, my day started at 4am for no other reason than I was anxious and well it didn’t get much better from here.
At abut 10am my Aunt came and took us all to the airport in the car ride there I almost cried (1) so that was fun, we got to the airport and checked in out bags that was...
Well the title is a lie because it’s the night before but busy day tomorrow and I won’t have a chance to post for the next week so this is it I will give an update after jamboree or many depending on the stories also after I get back from jamboree I will organize photos and whatnot for those who...
Well going to a funeral today so not to many photos will be taken from what I know its not appropriate to take a camera to a funeral but to a wedding many cameras are allowed. From what my parents where talking about last night it seems there are a lot of social rules when it comes to funerals...
Well I slept through the night, first time this whole week and this whole year. Dad and my sister just went out for a swim in the sea but it’s a bit cold for me being 8am and all well actually I haven’t been in the sea this whole trip and we have only stayed along the coast the beach just isn’t...
Today well it all started at 4am with some reflux that OCD decided to play on so that was fun, when my day actually started we had oven cooked toast and headed on our way to mt Taranaki/Egmont that was super fun I got to walk ahead of everyone and got to not worry about what other people thought...