Basically Stuck Either Way

There's a lot of ways this applies in my life. For example, wearing a binder. I'm dysphoric without it, and dysphoric with it. More aware of my chest, constantly feeling it to see if I've "slipped" and have to adjust. Another instance is in school work I have to do. The teacher assigned a podcast and some questions to answer. Of course, the first thing I do is look up a transcription, but... It's not punctuated, in a weird font, and is in big blocks of text. I emailed the teacher about any other possible transcriptions yesterday, but she hasn't gotten back to me. Oh, I also took the RDOS test again yesterday. Same range of results added that page to the pile that I might or might not show my therapist. Really dreading school tomorrow. I always feel like I'm both wasting time and running out of time.