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Trending blog entries
Lately i have been having worries about marriage because it is a big thing where i live. Both culturally and religion wise it is recommended to marry. My family thankfully does not pressure me about this but my friend who comes from a traditional family does. And i have worries about getting old...
Today a relative came over to our house. He was talking about his girlfriend. His girlfriend is an abnormal person whom i suspect to be autistic. He mentioned that she has no friends, always talks badly about people and has bad family relations. I do not know if she is autistic but she is also...
This morning I still had a fair amount of muscle soreness from Wednesday's PT session. He introduced me to supersets. Very efficient, and a fresh take on doing exercises for me. My PT congratulated me at the end of the session, as we did 4 sets per exercise, and finished with HIIT on the rowing...
I have posted before about possibly having GAD. But I've yo-yoed with the topic in my head, about if I have it or not.
Lately. There is no denying that I have it or at least some kind of anxiety disorder. I have anxiety about nearly everything. Even if it's mild anxiety. It's always waiting in...
I am facing emotions I haven't faced since childhood. Feeling a great distress and sadness about my own fears being more than me as a person. Calling it conditioning, is just addressing it at a surface level.
This is full blown emotional brokeness. I shut myself off emotionally and mentally...
There is someone i like, and it makes it harder to move to another city. Although i have applied to a lot of Jobs and have had no response so far. Living in another city without support is scary.
And the person i like, i don't even know what to think about him. He has qualities i admire...
Lately. I have been working on figuring myself out. It's a two fold mission.
First. I need to discover and clarify why I have stuck myself mentally, like I have. Which I have been doing. Picking apart my own actions and behaviors in my darker periods. As well as picking apart what I've done, or...
I gave it my all during today's 1:1 PT session at the gym. It was tough, but he was happy that I kept going until I couldn't go anymore. When the muscles tire, my brain goes "I can't do this" and yet, somehow it's possible to complete the set. Today we did 4 sets instead of 3, and the weights...
The world was empty for her. No matter where she looked, there was nothing for the things inside her. She kept on working, studying, changing her shape to adapt and surviving. And sometimes something good came to her, and went. But she somehow knew the things and people that came were not there...
Yesterday was an extremely bizarre, spontaneous and unorganized day. These days I am looking a lot into videos of people saving elephants. I am also vegan and can say without sounding hypocritical that I love animals a lot, so I guess all these came to a point of me waking up from a dream where...
Gym session went well. Given how sore my muscles were, I'm surprised that I could do 3 sets of 10 reps on all but 1 exercise - where i managed 9, then 8 then 5. But i wasn't going to be silly about it. If the muscle had nothing left to give for that exercise, I'm going to listen to my body.
I...
This muscle soreness is going to make today's first solo gym session a case of mind over matter.
I emailed my PT yesterday and he kindly uploaded an 8 exercise - 1 hour routine. I'll then finish up with some swimming and then some meditation in the sauna.
The first month will have my body...
I give an offering of some of my water each time I visit the old oak tree. Respect your elders. I thank it for peace and strength. Hippie alert.
My guide has prompted me to purchase some instruments for my upcoming meditations and trance. In recent days I've learned that my guide was from the...
Waiting and worthiness are the 2 big lessons my next relationship will teach me.
I'm happy to say that I've improved with waiting; as it's destroyed me with anxiety in the past. Being away from a person triggered separation anxiety, and waiting for them to respond online - the longer the wait...
This week I'm pet sitting for the daughter of my mom's friend. She's about 10 years older than me, so her life is pretty well-established. I'm technically allergic to cats and dogs, of which she has both, but not enough where that would stop me from being around them. So, I get to stay in a cute...
I love art.
Sometimes, when I'm listening to music, I suddenly get a very vivid visual in my head about what a music video or movie for that song would look like, and get lost in it. I love when that happens. But, I don't think I'd ever find success in making movies. Plus, that's already what my...
Today I drove a service user and their family to the Motorhome & Caravan show at the NEC in Birmingham. It was a lovely day out - and I enjoyed the driving. We also went to numerous places yesterday as well.
It's presented all sorts of unique challenges, and after my shift has finished I've...