Recently I ran into someone from my long-ago past. We went to the same elementary school together, a school we both recalled as a "cruel place." He said he wanted me to know that he'd always had my back. Well, maybe he did and maybe he didn't, I don't remember. It was so long ago.
When we were growing up, Tommy and his brother had a somewhat rowdy reputation, though back in the mid-1960's what that meant was probably something a whole lot more innocent than now. Then all of a sudden Tommy found Jesus. We all thought it would be a passing phase but no.
Anyway, it's ironic that Tommy credits me with bringing him to the Lord. Me, who is now an agnostic attending a Unitarian-Universalist church. He said it was the discussions that he had with me and my brother. Again, I can't really remember too much of that, except that that was when I was heavily involved in the "home church" and using religion as a way to escape from things I did not know how to deal with. Not surprisingly, Tommy is married, has two grown children, and a good job. He's not living in a run-down trailer park.
I think it is because of our shared history that Tommy did not attempt to reconvert me with stale platitudes. He knows better than most people what I suffered growing up. I told him about Aspergers and being on the spectrum and how that has helped me gain a new understanding of myself.
But then he said, "you should write children's books." Because I have a lot to say to young people who are going through the same thing. And perhaps I do. But here's the thing--I've learned the hard and painful way that it takes much much more than that. You see, I've actually submitted my work to a publisher. And was rejected. And rejected. And rejected. And went broke being rejected. This is not a small thing. Because I spent so much borrowed money on that failed book it is affecting how I live NOW and it will affect how I live in the future. I am at the age where financially there are very few, if any, second chances. I know this because I have been to a financial advisor and this is what he told me. From now on, I must learn to live very carefully and guard my money against the day I can no longer work.
I know Tommy and others like him mean well, but really, if you don't know how the writing world works, please do not tell someone that they "ought to be a writer." You are not doing them any favors. In fact, you may be setting them up to fail. Writing, like music, singing, dance, drama, is a very, very competitive business with many, many gatekeepers along the way. We hear about the ones that made it big, like Madonna or Lady Gaga. We never hear about the ones who return home broke and trust me, they are far, far more numerous than those who succeed. The first and last thing you need to know about being a writer is that the odds are against you. If you don't have the resources to get in the game and stay in the game--and I did not--you don't have any business being in the game.
And this is why I have to say "No" to Tommy and the others who say, "but why don't you?" Because I've been there and they haven't.
When we were growing up, Tommy and his brother had a somewhat rowdy reputation, though back in the mid-1960's what that meant was probably something a whole lot more innocent than now. Then all of a sudden Tommy found Jesus. We all thought it would be a passing phase but no.
Anyway, it's ironic that Tommy credits me with bringing him to the Lord. Me, who is now an agnostic attending a Unitarian-Universalist church. He said it was the discussions that he had with me and my brother. Again, I can't really remember too much of that, except that that was when I was heavily involved in the "home church" and using religion as a way to escape from things I did not know how to deal with. Not surprisingly, Tommy is married, has two grown children, and a good job. He's not living in a run-down trailer park.
I think it is because of our shared history that Tommy did not attempt to reconvert me with stale platitudes. He knows better than most people what I suffered growing up. I told him about Aspergers and being on the spectrum and how that has helped me gain a new understanding of myself.
But then he said, "you should write children's books." Because I have a lot to say to young people who are going through the same thing. And perhaps I do. But here's the thing--I've learned the hard and painful way that it takes much much more than that. You see, I've actually submitted my work to a publisher. And was rejected. And rejected. And rejected. And went broke being rejected. This is not a small thing. Because I spent so much borrowed money on that failed book it is affecting how I live NOW and it will affect how I live in the future. I am at the age where financially there are very few, if any, second chances. I know this because I have been to a financial advisor and this is what he told me. From now on, I must learn to live very carefully and guard my money against the day I can no longer work.
I know Tommy and others like him mean well, but really, if you don't know how the writing world works, please do not tell someone that they "ought to be a writer." You are not doing them any favors. In fact, you may be setting them up to fail. Writing, like music, singing, dance, drama, is a very, very competitive business with many, many gatekeepers along the way. We hear about the ones that made it big, like Madonna or Lady Gaga. We never hear about the ones who return home broke and trust me, they are far, far more numerous than those who succeed. The first and last thing you need to know about being a writer is that the odds are against you. If you don't have the resources to get in the game and stay in the game--and I did not--you don't have any business being in the game.
And this is why I have to say "No" to Tommy and the others who say, "but why don't you?" Because I've been there and they haven't.
