• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Back to "normal"

  • Author Author Arcturus
  • Create date Create date
  • Blog entry read time Blog entry read time 1 min read
Bye-bye peace, you didn't last long. Hello agony, hello falling out of sync with people.

Frequently I feel like I don't understand people and their motives at all. Like I was born yesterday.

When I think friend, I think "I have their back, they have mine". When I think "casual fun and not caring", I think "acquaintance". Experience shows me that the people I [would like to] think of as friends much prefer the casual role with no effort, and I only notice it months and years down the road. I have their backs, and they have my....I don't know. It makes me ultimately sad.

Comments

I think we are "overdoing" care most of the time and are never sure how much is enough. We just care times hundred. It's exhausting. But at the same time, if we meet someone who cares even a little bit - there is no end to gratitude and appreciation. Does that sound right?
 
Very important comment that I can relate to. A few years ago I went through a series of health and business crises. It was a very effective way to find out who my friends were. As a result of that I have eliminated 90% of my so-called friends (not that I had allot of them - something like 10 total). Although it was a very painful way to find out about these relationships, I am grateful for the information. And also I do not have to respond to most people now. I have 2 people I consider friends, and one of them lives 17 hours by jet from here :)
 
Yes, it's true, a lot of people choose to not be involved and withdraw when you are going through hard times. This is what hurts the most and never stops hurting. I myself can withdraw emotionally from sensory overload and weird people out, even offend someone, but I will always find other ways to express loyalty and friendship. It is also hard for me to say "I love you" or nice pleasing things and praise in general, even to someone I do love, so my "other" ways of genuine caring are not perceived as caring. Ah, it only makes me depressed to think about it. I want to focus on the people who do care no matter how difficult I am in close communication.
 

Blog entry information

Author
Arcturus
Read time
1 min read
Views
1,136
Comments
4
Last update

More entries in General

  • Messages
    I gave it my all during today's 1:1 PT session at the gym. It was tough, but he was happy that I...
  • A trip to the woods
    A trip into the local Fens and Nine Acre Woods. Ed
  • Today's first solo gym session
    Gym session went well. Given how sore my muscles were, I'm surprised that I could do 3 sets of...
  • First solo trip
    This muscle soreness is going to make today's first solo gym session a case of mind over matter...
  • Tonight I trance
    I give an offering of some of my water each time I visit the old oak tree. Respect your elders...

More entries from Arcturus

  • On Longing to Belong and on Love
    I went to an Aspie meetup the other day in my town and they told me it's not worth it getting...
  • Love yourself even...
    ...if you spend one minute deciding how much sugar to put in your coffee and spill most of it...
  • In between the meltdowns
    An ominous calm. Woke up with no feelings whatsoever, just thoughts. While my emotions are...
  • A normal day
    Spilled water all over the kitchen, dropped an ice tray - ice cubes went flying everywhere...
  • A miracle!
    I have to share this somewhere, and this space seems the most appropriate. Today I was getting...

Share this entry

Top Bottom