Hello to all the nice Aspie mob out there. First, I wish to give you a little piece of my personal history.
I was born in the London, England a long time ago. I married early and by the time I was Twenty-one I had Three children.
With my husband and three children we emigrated to Australia in nineteen sixty-six. We moved around the country a lot, but our problems were terminal and were divorced in nineteen eighty-one. Three children eventually ended at five. I now have Several grandchildren and many great-grandchildren scattered around the country.
I have written three children's books here is the website: grace lee's Books and Publications Spotlight There is also a website with my paintings and books: Grace Lee's Books and Art - GRACE LEE'S ART AND BOOKS
Here is a run down on my particular problems that I know most of you can relate to.
I found out very late in life that I have a mild form of Asperger's but it does answer many long-term problems I have.
My Particular Problem.
While people are talking, I often see myself saying something. It is very difficult to stay quite when you want to talk, and I still am guilty of changing the subject midway through a conversation. Unfortunately, I still do not notice if they are even listening to me or not.)
I never used to look at people in the eye, and I never even realised I had to do this when talking to someone. Thankfully, I had a boyfriend who would explain that it is polite to look people in the eyes they were talking to me, until finally I learned the skill. I wonder how people managed with me all those years before.
I think everyone that knows me gets very annoyed with some of my obsessions, like the bad oils, but of course, if they bring the subject up, then off I go again. I get stuck on things and cannot let go, someone told me I was like a dog with a bone.
I never hugged my children much when they were growing up, so they must have thought I did not love them, but that is far from the truth. I just don’t like the touchy feely stuff, but since doing a drama course, counselling and teaching, I have learned how to empathise and relate to others much better. However, I really cannot watch soppy movies or talkback shows etc., as this is face-on stuff, and I do not like it at all, I think the people in these shows are embarrassing.
I think I understand humour, although I do not always laugh at some jokes, and how can someone falling over, be funny? I just see somebody being hurt and humiliated; and I cannot understand why people laugh at another’s misfortune.
When I was small, things were very hard for me, as my uncle would tell a joke and I always thought he was serious. This still happens to me on occasions, and my family find this funny.
I do not read people well, especially in social situations, and I had no idea people talk with their eyes until I read Temple Gradin’s book ‘The Way I See It’ recently.
Yet I do understand some humour, and I know I can be very funny. I tend to see pictures of the things people are talking about. Sometimes I laugh inappropriately, as the picture will be very funny. I think I take things too literally.
When I was a child, I could not play games like hopscotch or sport as I would fall over my feet or not understand what I was meant to do. I was good at running though, and I won a few races, but relays I could not understand at all, as I did not understand the concept of running with a stick.
Dancing is another problem, as I mentally put out my left foot, and out comes my right foot, very annoying. When I was studying Drama, the only dance I was capable of doing was Flamenco. I think this was because I danced in my own way, without any guidance from others.
I am not very coordinated at all, as I still cannot catch a ball, but I did manage to learn to play tennis with the same boyfriend that taught me to look him in the eye. Thankfully, I am not as bad as some poor folk out there in Aspie land.
I agree with the words of Temple Gradin when she writes in her book ‘The Way I See It’ [1] that ‘one can learn Social skills,’ and this is true, as I have managed to learn many skills over the years.
I did have a hard time in school though, as the children could not understand me and I could not understand them either. I never knew what to say, and could never understand their strange kind of friendships. They giggled and did strange things, and sometimes I thought they were making fun of me. Thus, the concept of mateship passed me by.
When I was an Adolescent, Elvis Presley was my idol. I really thought he was singing his songs just for me, but sitting in a Cinema and listening to a bunch of silly girls screaming at him, not only scared me but put me off of the whole thing.
I cannot understand much of the small talk that goes on between people at all, especially at work, but I have learned how to greet people, a recent thing. I have learned that when I am asked the question
“How was your day?”
I am supposed to reply with an answer and a question such as
“Fine Thank you, and yours?”
Not spend ten minutes telling them all about my day, as I sometimes do. Well they do ask.
I used to believe everything people said, as I thought everyone told the truth, so sarcasm passes me by, as I just don’t understand the subtleties.
Being in a big crowd such an audience is downright scary, as I feel as though some kind of huge body is squashing me in. Yet I am perfectly happy walking in the city, or standing in front of a class teaching. In fact, I love talking in front of the class or on stage.
I can meet people then forget them within minutes, as my mind does not retain their picture. I used to teach international students, and face recognition was my biggest problem. I hit onto the idea ofgiving all my students nametags, but in the second-class I had with them, half of the nametags had disappeared and by the third, none were visible. Then they wondered why I could not recognise them. On several occasions, I have even had trouble recognising my own children.
Link to this particular problem:
Prosopagnosia (Face Blind)
Sounds can sometimes be so loud they will hurt my ears. A constant whistle in a train hurt my head so much that I had to change carriages, yet other people just sat there and never moved. I just thought that they had to be deaf not to hear such a loud noise, but Iwonder was the noise just drowned out in their minds somehow. I also hear sounds that others don’t, such as high-pitched whistling.
Smells can be so horrible that sometimes I do not like feel like getting on a bus, because of the many smells pervading my nose all at the same time. Sometimes I will start to sneeze, while at other times I am able to tolerate it.
Touch can be problematic, as some materials hurt my hands and they go into melt down. I often have to put cream on my hands to stop such an intense feeling.
Glares hurt my eyes too. When I was in a Counsellor’s office the other day, she happened to be sitting in front of a window, which had the blind partly open. My eyes went fuzzy and I felt disturbed.
Some things grouped together make me feel sick to the stomach, and I cannot look at them. Lots of squares or other stuff grouped together is horrible. The starts of some films now have these strange shapes in them. Yuk!
However for all this, I have managed even if it is hard for others to understand at times, especially my children.
Grace Lee
[1] ‘The Way I See It’ by Temple Grandin, PH. D. 2008. Future Horizons Inc., Texes USA.,
I was born in the London, England a long time ago. I married early and by the time I was Twenty-one I had Three children.
With my husband and three children we emigrated to Australia in nineteen sixty-six. We moved around the country a lot, but our problems were terminal and were divorced in nineteen eighty-one. Three children eventually ended at five. I now have Several grandchildren and many great-grandchildren scattered around the country.
I have written three children's books here is the website: grace lee's Books and Publications Spotlight There is also a website with my paintings and books: Grace Lee's Books and Art - GRACE LEE'S ART AND BOOKS
Here is a run down on my particular problems that I know most of you can relate to.
I found out very late in life that I have a mild form of Asperger's but it does answer many long-term problems I have.
My Particular Problem.
While people are talking, I often see myself saying something. It is very difficult to stay quite when you want to talk, and I still am guilty of changing the subject midway through a conversation. Unfortunately, I still do not notice if they are even listening to me or not.)
I never used to look at people in the eye, and I never even realised I had to do this when talking to someone. Thankfully, I had a boyfriend who would explain that it is polite to look people in the eyes they were talking to me, until finally I learned the skill. I wonder how people managed with me all those years before.
I think everyone that knows me gets very annoyed with some of my obsessions, like the bad oils, but of course, if they bring the subject up, then off I go again. I get stuck on things and cannot let go, someone told me I was like a dog with a bone.
I never hugged my children much when they were growing up, so they must have thought I did not love them, but that is far from the truth. I just don’t like the touchy feely stuff, but since doing a drama course, counselling and teaching, I have learned how to empathise and relate to others much better. However, I really cannot watch soppy movies or talkback shows etc., as this is face-on stuff, and I do not like it at all, I think the people in these shows are embarrassing.
I think I understand humour, although I do not always laugh at some jokes, and how can someone falling over, be funny? I just see somebody being hurt and humiliated; and I cannot understand why people laugh at another’s misfortune.
When I was small, things were very hard for me, as my uncle would tell a joke and I always thought he was serious. This still happens to me on occasions, and my family find this funny.
I do not read people well, especially in social situations, and I had no idea people talk with their eyes until I read Temple Gradin’s book ‘The Way I See It’ recently.
Yet I do understand some humour, and I know I can be very funny. I tend to see pictures of the things people are talking about. Sometimes I laugh inappropriately, as the picture will be very funny. I think I take things too literally.
When I was a child, I could not play games like hopscotch or sport as I would fall over my feet or not understand what I was meant to do. I was good at running though, and I won a few races, but relays I could not understand at all, as I did not understand the concept of running with a stick.
Dancing is another problem, as I mentally put out my left foot, and out comes my right foot, very annoying. When I was studying Drama, the only dance I was capable of doing was Flamenco. I think this was because I danced in my own way, without any guidance from others.
I am not very coordinated at all, as I still cannot catch a ball, but I did manage to learn to play tennis with the same boyfriend that taught me to look him in the eye. Thankfully, I am not as bad as some poor folk out there in Aspie land.
I agree with the words of Temple Gradin when she writes in her book ‘The Way I See It’ [1] that ‘one can learn Social skills,’ and this is true, as I have managed to learn many skills over the years.
I did have a hard time in school though, as the children could not understand me and I could not understand them either. I never knew what to say, and could never understand their strange kind of friendships. They giggled and did strange things, and sometimes I thought they were making fun of me. Thus, the concept of mateship passed me by.
When I was an Adolescent, Elvis Presley was my idol. I really thought he was singing his songs just for me, but sitting in a Cinema and listening to a bunch of silly girls screaming at him, not only scared me but put me off of the whole thing.
I cannot understand much of the small talk that goes on between people at all, especially at work, but I have learned how to greet people, a recent thing. I have learned that when I am asked the question
“How was your day?”
I am supposed to reply with an answer and a question such as
“Fine Thank you, and yours?”
Not spend ten minutes telling them all about my day, as I sometimes do. Well they do ask.
I used to believe everything people said, as I thought everyone told the truth, so sarcasm passes me by, as I just don’t understand the subtleties.
Being in a big crowd such an audience is downright scary, as I feel as though some kind of huge body is squashing me in. Yet I am perfectly happy walking in the city, or standing in front of a class teaching. In fact, I love talking in front of the class or on stage.
I can meet people then forget them within minutes, as my mind does not retain their picture. I used to teach international students, and face recognition was my biggest problem. I hit onto the idea ofgiving all my students nametags, but in the second-class I had with them, half of the nametags had disappeared and by the third, none were visible. Then they wondered why I could not recognise them. On several occasions, I have even had trouble recognising my own children.
Link to this particular problem:
Prosopagnosia (Face Blind)
Sounds can sometimes be so loud they will hurt my ears. A constant whistle in a train hurt my head so much that I had to change carriages, yet other people just sat there and never moved. I just thought that they had to be deaf not to hear such a loud noise, but Iwonder was the noise just drowned out in their minds somehow. I also hear sounds that others don’t, such as high-pitched whistling.
Smells can be so horrible that sometimes I do not like feel like getting on a bus, because of the many smells pervading my nose all at the same time. Sometimes I will start to sneeze, while at other times I am able to tolerate it.
Touch can be problematic, as some materials hurt my hands and they go into melt down. I often have to put cream on my hands to stop such an intense feeling.
Glares hurt my eyes too. When I was in a Counsellor’s office the other day, she happened to be sitting in front of a window, which had the blind partly open. My eyes went fuzzy and I felt disturbed.
Some things grouped together make me feel sick to the stomach, and I cannot look at them. Lots of squares or other stuff grouped together is horrible. The starts of some films now have these strange shapes in them. Yuk!
However for all this, I have managed even if it is hard for others to understand at times, especially my children.
Grace Lee
[1] ‘The Way I See It’ by Temple Grandin, PH. D. 2008. Future Horizons Inc., Texes USA.,
