This is actually an entry I wrote on my external blog. I just really like it and haven't been able to put a whole... thing together. And this really is appropriate. I hope it is clear that it isn't aimed to anyone here. Again, it is from an off-site blog I write in off and on- updated and edited. Category: General Rant.
So: SHARE TIME! [and no I haven't forgotten about TNG. Just not braining all that well right now]
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I really need people to stop commenting on things like:
hint 1: My "social skills" are this grab bag that are often some desperate effort saved by the fact that I tend to follow some kind of script that works at most parties if you have a drink in your hand kept only one-quarter full. Also helpful: keep someone beside you who will cover for you and laugh at the weird things you say, making other people feel inadequate for not laughing at the weird stuff you say.
Also? There are enough short scripts or simple things you can do to fake that you know what you are doing. All else fails, fall back on very basic psychology combined with the fact that people just want to be heard and appreciated. I don't actually know when I've said something wrong or that what I'm about to say is subtly offensive. However, I often actually have a problem offending people when I try. I have yet to figure that out.
hint 2: The makeup. Wow makeup. Yes I wear make up. I'm not even going to address this any further because if you look through history you will see that at one point everyone everywhere AND their kitchen sink wore freaking makeup. It says nothing about anyone ever. Not even about how "that Johnson boy went so wrong somewhere along the line".
[No he did not.]
DONE.
hint 3: I have a private area. Most people call it genitals. I like it when they feel good. Some people who aren't autistic don't like sex. Some people who are autistic don't like sex and it has nothing to do with being autistic. Some people who are autistic are in poly relationships [and it has nothing to do with being autistic]. Some people who aren't autistic are in poly relationships and it has nothing to do with not being autistic. Some people are asexual or not- neither directly because they are autistic. SOME PEOPLE LIKE SEX AND SOME DON'T. Get it?
Also also? Autism is not just about "fitting in". It's simply not. I have some distinct neurological **** that has nothing to do with 'fitting in', but it does affect how I interact with the world. It has a significant effect on how I perceive it and understand it. That is part of the awkward and the awesome of being autistic.
You don't get to tell me I am not autistic because I wear eyeliner and I can make two minutes of conversation at a cocktail party that I thought was a good idea but am now having second thoughts about because I am being accosted about why I do or do not buy make up at Ulta.
And, apparently you love my kitten heels- I am SO fashion forward but the reality is they are the only kind of heels I stand to wear because they don't risk women breaking their ankle and they tend to be made the most comfortable because they don't make as much of an effort to have the female foot simply DISAPPEAR into thin air.
No one defines me except me.
Makeup and heels and standard black dress and surviving two minutes of so-called charming conversation including "laugh when you don't know what to say" also "sex life" in no way contradicts "autistic". No. NOPE.
There is way the hell more to this whole autism thing. Simply having the ability to "pass" is not a defining factor. Only a minority is aware of how much effort and energy that 'charming' two minutes takes.
So: SHARE TIME! [and no I haven't forgotten about TNG. Just not braining all that well right now]
---
I really need people to stop commenting on things like:
- My "social skills"
- The fact that I use make up [what?]
- The fact that I have sex [DOUBLE WHAT]
hint 1: My "social skills" are this grab bag that are often some desperate effort saved by the fact that I tend to follow some kind of script that works at most parties if you have a drink in your hand kept only one-quarter full. Also helpful: keep someone beside you who will cover for you and laugh at the weird things you say, making other people feel inadequate for not laughing at the weird stuff you say.
Also? There are enough short scripts or simple things you can do to fake that you know what you are doing. All else fails, fall back on very basic psychology combined with the fact that people just want to be heard and appreciated. I don't actually know when I've said something wrong or that what I'm about to say is subtly offensive. However, I often actually have a problem offending people when I try. I have yet to figure that out.
hint 2: The makeup. Wow makeup. Yes I wear make up. I'm not even going to address this any further because if you look through history you will see that at one point everyone everywhere AND their kitchen sink wore freaking makeup. It says nothing about anyone ever. Not even about how "that Johnson boy went so wrong somewhere along the line".
[No he did not.]
DONE.
hint 3: I have a private area. Most people call it genitals. I like it when they feel good. Some people who aren't autistic don't like sex. Some people who are autistic don't like sex and it has nothing to do with being autistic. Some people who are autistic are in poly relationships [and it has nothing to do with being autistic]. Some people who aren't autistic are in poly relationships and it has nothing to do with not being autistic. Some people are asexual or not- neither directly because they are autistic. SOME PEOPLE LIKE SEX AND SOME DON'T. Get it?
Also also? Autism is not just about "fitting in". It's simply not. I have some distinct neurological **** that has nothing to do with 'fitting in', but it does affect how I interact with the world. It has a significant effect on how I perceive it and understand it. That is part of the awkward and the awesome of being autistic.
You don't get to tell me I am not autistic because I wear eyeliner and I can make two minutes of conversation at a cocktail party that I thought was a good idea but am now having second thoughts about because I am being accosted about why I do or do not buy make up at Ulta.
And, apparently you love my kitten heels- I am SO fashion forward but the reality is they are the only kind of heels I stand to wear because they don't risk women breaking their ankle and they tend to be made the most comfortable because they don't make as much of an effort to have the female foot simply DISAPPEAR into thin air.
No one defines me except me.
Makeup and heels and standard black dress and surviving two minutes of so-called charming conversation including "laugh when you don't know what to say" also "sex life" in no way contradicts "autistic". No. NOPE.
There is way the hell more to this whole autism thing. Simply having the ability to "pass" is not a defining factor. Only a minority is aware of how much effort and energy that 'charming' two minutes takes.
