Is this the way it really is? Yep!

I have never blogged before, but I am compelled to extend my thoughts, and feeling in this way at this moment. I have been spending a great deal of time trying to figure out if the way I view this world is actually reality, or if it is just my reality. I have been coming up against so many things in my life where people are telling me that I'm interpreting life situations wrong. I'm reading into so many of my experiences with a negative filter on them. I have been evaluating my perspective, experience, and peoples response to them. I am shifting my way of viewing the world. I am my biggest road block. I have been wondering if this an autistic thing, or something else?

I spend a lot of time wondering if I will ever be able to connect with the world. It hit me hard today that it is one of my greatest desires to connect with people. It is one of my greatest desires, but it has been the thing keeping people, success, and abundance just out of reach. I have been saying I want one thing, but behaving in a way to get the opposite. I have been looking for acceptance, and love from all the people around me, but I haven't been truly accepting, and loving of myself. I have had it pointed out to me that I need to embrace the moments I'm in as a divine present, enjoying and savoring every moment, because they are meant for me, and are completely mine. I had to take a hard look at the resistance I have been placing out in the world. That resistance is hurting me, and everything I am connected to. And that is a lot of stuff, because I am aware that I am connected to everyone, and everything.

xxxsdl