Well, the title pretty much says it all. I made it through my first week back in med school without any major problems. I attended all the classes, did all my assignments, found out most of my knowledge was just dormant instead of gone.
My major thought this week was: Why was this so hard for me the first time around?
Five years ago I never made it through the week without skipping at least one class. I constantly felt overwhelmed, couldn't stomach being around my fellow students, felt exhausted all the time. I tried very hard to connect to my fellow students, but most attempts fell flat. I had a few uneasy alliances at best.
This time, it feels different. Maybe it's because I'm 5 years older and wiser. Maybe it's because I've grown as a person. I'm more relaxed now, more comfortable with myself, I have embraced my flaws and talents. I don't go out of my way to befriend my fellow students, but I don't shy away from contact, and somehow it works and I'm never alone unless by choice. They want to sit next to me, they notice when I'm not there during their coffee break. I guess the key is not trying too hard, but instead just being myself and being relaxed.
At the same time I'm more driven than ever. There's never been so much at stake, career-wise, as there is now, yet somehow I feel less stressed than I did last time. I'm studying incredibly hard, waking up at 6 so I can cram in 2 hours before my lectures start, then 2 more hours when I get home in the evening. Somehow I even have energy left to do some chores around the house after I've finished studying and cooking dinner.
This is great. I just hope I can keep this up, because in the past I've often lost the healthy balance between work/study and relaxation. When I'm this enthusiastic about a subject it's easy to lose track of my needs for rest and distraction, but I'm cauteously optimistic that I've learned, and I'll do well this time. Onwards to week two!
My major thought this week was: Why was this so hard for me the first time around?
Five years ago I never made it through the week without skipping at least one class. I constantly felt overwhelmed, couldn't stomach being around my fellow students, felt exhausted all the time. I tried very hard to connect to my fellow students, but most attempts fell flat. I had a few uneasy alliances at best.
This time, it feels different. Maybe it's because I'm 5 years older and wiser. Maybe it's because I've grown as a person. I'm more relaxed now, more comfortable with myself, I have embraced my flaws and talents. I don't go out of my way to befriend my fellow students, but I don't shy away from contact, and somehow it works and I'm never alone unless by choice. They want to sit next to me, they notice when I'm not there during their coffee break. I guess the key is not trying too hard, but instead just being myself and being relaxed.
At the same time I'm more driven than ever. There's never been so much at stake, career-wise, as there is now, yet somehow I feel less stressed than I did last time. I'm studying incredibly hard, waking up at 6 so I can cram in 2 hours before my lectures start, then 2 more hours when I get home in the evening. Somehow I even have energy left to do some chores around the house after I've finished studying and cooking dinner.
This is great. I just hope I can keep this up, because in the past I've often lost the healthy balance between work/study and relaxation. When I'm this enthusiastic about a subject it's easy to lose track of my needs for rest and distraction, but I'm cauteously optimistic that I've learned, and I'll do well this time. Onwards to week two!