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Totally Disregulated

Maybe my anxiety is also just a result of being disregulated.

I've been reading as much as I can about Aspergers in the workplace, and there's useful info on being disregulated and needing to be more intentional about trying to regulate oneself with smart routines. I used to hate routines in the sense that i didn't want to have to stick to anything - but I think I can really benefit form routines. I came up with a night time routine, and it was amazing how much more relaxed I felt by the time I got into bed. I only managed to do it 2 or 3 days in a row before falling away, but if I keep trying, maybe I can establish a routine. I also am trying to establish a morning routine that will be beneficial for me - I can see how that would improve my sense of peace in the morning, especially before work.

I would like to reimagine my life in terms of intentional routines. I think that would also give me a sense of control as far as knowing I am actually fitting in all the things I value in my life. It's hard to start living this way, but the brief experience I had of it felt more happy, peaceful, and sane. Maybe I can get to the point where I generally can follow the routines/schedule, and if I once in a while mess up, well, that's just to be expected.

Thinking of how/when I can incorporate all the things that I actually *want* to do, and finding the times/ways I can incorporate them so that less stress is created in my life, seems like a beneficial thing to do. Maybe I used to do this somewhat automatically. But now my life seems more full of things that I want to do, it can feel overwhelming - Aspie burnout makes things feel more overwhelming anyway. But I think my burnout is getting better.

I think another form of regulating myself is remembering to check in with myself throughout the day, especially when in the company of others, to see how I am truly feeling and expressing that within my own head. Also, being aware of sensory issues and taking breaks if possible.

Thought-blocking is also something I think I need to do to stop over-analyzing, obsessing (which i sometimes may confuse with processing) things. I think my special interests actually served as thought-blockers - perhaps that's why they were so deeply relaxing, I didn't think about all of my worries. But I may use particular prayers as thought-blockers now, if needed - for example when trying to fall asleep and my thoughts won't shut off.

Comments

This caught my attention because I don't have a routine either and wondered if I could benefit, or if not having a routine is causing problems. I'll have to look into this regulating. I've never even thought of blocking my thoughts... I think I do mistake obsessing as processing! :eek: Interesting.
 
This caught my attention because I don't have a routine either and wondered if I could benefit, or if not having a routine is causing problems. I'll have to look into this regulating. I've never even thought of blocking my thoughts... I think I do mistake obsessing as processing! :eek: Interesting.
With respect to ASD, I have heard that routines can give a sense of control, and I usually here NTs talking about routines as the cause of problems - like, the person with ASD will get upset because the routine is disrupted. So I guess I need to keep in mind the possibility of becoming too rigid in my routine - in fact, perhaps one reason I have avoided establishing routines is out of a "perfectionism" or maybe obsessive need to only establish one that I can stick to perfectly? Who knows.
 
This caught my attention because I don't have a routine either and wondered if I could benefit, or if not having a routine is causing problems. I'll have to look into this regulating. I've never even thought of blocking my thoughts... I think I do mistake obsessing as processing! :eek: Interesting.
I first thought about this when I heard an occupational therapist said that rituals are important for all people - it cuts down on decision making, and by doing so, people get larger chunks of necessary actions done during the day without even having to remember/think about it, consider how they feel about it, etc. I do find that really slows and prevents things from getting done, so I hope establishing routines that I actually like will help.
 
Yes I have perfectionism that makes me avoid too. Tried a routine today, I probably shouldn't of planned something for every hour, bound me to feeling like it was a fail haha. I actually did have a routine, now that I think about it, sitting and checking websites! For a few years... Now I'm trying to break it and it's not comfortable. I always wish I was forced into a good routine, so that my mind doesn't ever think twice. Being left to my own devices hasn't been productive.
 
Yes I have perfectionism that makes me avoid too. Tried a routine today, I probably shouldn't of planned something for every hour, bound me to feeling like it was a fail haha. I actually did have a routine, now that I think about it, sitting and checking websites! For a few years... Now I'm trying to break it and it's not comfortable. I always wish I was forced into a good routine, so that my mind doesn't ever think twice. Being left to my own devices hasn't been productive.
Yeah! I try to remember that what I've been doing has actually been a means of coping with things, and all of that unstructured time was probably good and necessary in a way - but not productive in the ways I need to be right now.
 
Yes I have perfectionism that makes me avoid too. Tried a routine today, I probably shouldn't of planned something for every hour, bound me to feeling like it was a fail haha. I actually did have a routine, now that I think about it, sitting and checking websites! For a few years... Now I'm trying to break it and it's not comfortable. I always wish I was forced into a good routine, so that my mind doesn't ever think twice. Being left to my own devices hasn't been productive.
I am going really easy with the routines - staying basic. I don't think I can manage more than that, I need wiggle room, a cushion - actually, I am making the routines with that planned in and to ensure further wiggle room if possible, because I know I need it - it has made me re-evaluate what I really can and can't do at different times of day.
 
To comment on the thought blocking, I used it to cope with extreme stress of being an Aspy and Divorce (My mom and dad) at the same time. The end result was me losing all the memories before that divorce. I lost some other ones in the future because my first step mom got hooked on drugs.
My obsession with games has been that thought blocker. It removed me from dealing with a lot of problems. If I had my knowledge of Psychology then, I would have been able to deal with those situations.
 
This caught my attention because I don't have a routine either and wondered if I could benefit, or if not having a routine is causing problems. I'll have to look into this regulating. I've never even thought of blocking my thoughts... I think I do mistake obsessing as processing! :eek: Interesting.
This caught my attention too, because I have anxiety from the army and childhood. I was looking for a solution on wrong planet. You provided that. You have my heartfelt thanks.
 
To comment on the thought blocking, I used it to cope with extreme stress of being an Aspy and Divorce (My mom and dad) at the same time. The end result was me losing all the memories before that divorce. I lost some other ones in the future because my first step mom got hooked on drugs.
My obsession with games has been that thought blocker. It removed me from dealing with a lot of problems. If I had my knowledge of Psychology then, I would have been able to deal with those situations.
That is so interesting - I am missing a lot of memories, too. I hadn't associated it with thought-blocking though - I completely immersed myself in books and the fantasy world with myself as a character in it - to escape my upsetting childhood/teen years. I agree that if I had more psych knowledge I could have helped myself better. I am sorry that you had such a stressful childhood :-(
 
To comment on the thought blocking, I used it to cope with extreme stress of being an Aspy and Divorce (My mom and dad) at the same time. The end result was me losing all the memories before that divorce. I lost some other ones in the future because my first step mom got hooked on drugs.
My obsession with games has been that thought blocker. It removed me from dealing with a lot of problems. If I had my knowledge of Psychology then, I would have been able to deal with those situations.
Thanks
 
To comment on the thought blocking, I used it to cope with extreme stress of being an Aspy and Divorce (My mom and dad) at the same time. The end result was me losing all the memories before that divorce. I lost some other ones in the future because my first step mom got hooked on drugs.
My obsession with games has been that thought blocker. It removed me from dealing with a lot of problems. If I had my knowledge of Psychology then, I would have been able to deal with those situations.
I'm not sure which games you are into - my husband really likes the Zelda series, and I could totally see myself losing myself in games like that! I never play though, I just like watching.
 

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