Why is it that certain parts of the body are considered unmentionable while others are not? Is it because they are prone to discharges and other gross stuff? Yet mouths and noses are prone to the same, but nobody says that you can't mention them (except maybe the Tuareg of North Africa who do consider mouths obscene and that is why they wear veils, even when eating).
I once knew a woman, a dear sweet elderly Christian woman. I don't know how the subject came up but I mentioned something about vaginas and clitorises. This woman is at least 30 years older than me, and had been married, to boot, but she had no idea what a clitoris is or where it is. That's sad. I am a virgin and theoretically supposed to be ignorant about such things, but I know what and where it is. I didn't learn it at home, though. If my mother had had her way I suppose I would still be ignorant about such things.
Recently they've been having a debate on the local on-line news about sex education in schools, because apparently there is a new law under consideration dealing with that. Two things about this debate amaze me. One, the number of parents who believe (like my parents) that this is something parents should teach (when?), and how many of the comments from such parents have misspelled words and/or grammar. Not long ago they were discussing spanking in schools and again, many of the pro-spanking comments again had misspelled words and/or grammar. Now, if you are trying to make the point that the reason the schools have all gone to hell is because they are no longer spanking students or they are teaching sex education or they aren't praying or saying the Pledge of Allegiance, submitting misspelled and ungrammatical comments is not the way to make your case. Or maybe it is. Maybe the reason you can't write correctly is because of all of the above!
Anyway, to get back to learning about sex at home from my parents, by the time they even thought about getting around to it I had already learned it from one of my classmates. I still remember how FURIOUS my mother was when she found out. I learned then (if I hadn't before) that there were certain kinds of knowledge that were dangerous. That you had to conceal your knowledge of. To this day I do not understand why she was so angry or what she was so angry about. And that anger was directed at me. There was no doubt about it.
But why? Why should knowing how and where babies come from be so bad? To this day, and I am in my 50's, we have NEVER had that talk. I don't know when she ever planned on it (my wedding night, maybe?). The funny thing is I probably do know more about sex than she does even though I've never had any. Oh, I am sure there is a lot I don't know, but that's all right. If I ever do need to know such things, I know where to get the information.
I still remember my mother censoring a story I wrote in sixth grade. I had written something about a stallion and his mate. My mother objected saying I should not use the word mate, I should use the word mare. At the same time I was reading (with her knowledge and blessing) the "My Friend Flicka" books. If you are only familiar with the Tim McGraw remake, let me tell you it is nothing at all like the original stories. There is a very graphic gelding scene in the first book that sets the stage for all that happens next. The boy, Ken, watches in horror as one of the young geldings dies from the operation and he vows that he will never allow that to happen to any horse of his. That is why he chooses the filly Flicka instead of one of the colts, and later on, when Flicka has a colt of her own, he hides Flicka and her colt so that the colt won't be gelded. As I said, I was reading this stuff with my mother's full knowledge and blessing, yet could not use the word "mate" because of its sexual connotations.
Well . . . if there is a God I guess he must have a sense of humor, because the irony is that I am in a job where I have to use the words penis, vagina, clitoris and testes on an almost daily basis. If I am putting together a document on penile abnormalities and I have a question I either have to pick up the phone or send an e-mail. There is no room for the kind of prudery I was raised with in my line of work. It took a LONG time before I could write these words or even say them without blushing. I still have trouble using them outside of a work setting, particularly if I am around certain people. I find myself using euphemisms. And I think, for God's sake, we are all adults here, why should I have to beat around the bush? (Not that these situations come up a lot, mind you, but every now and then they do.) And even if we are not all adults, why should I still have to beat around the bush? Why is vulva more offensive than nose?
A while back I was at a party and some of the younger people decided to shock us elders by talking about penises and vaginas and such, and I finally got tired of the immaturity and said, you know, people, when you say these words it makes me think about work and I am not here to think about work. They said, what kind of work do you do? I said I have to put together pathology tables about what they find in different organs, so when I hear penis and vagina it is just another set of data points. Those words lost their thrill a long time ago. You might as well be snickering over eyes and livers and ears.
I just don't get it.
I once knew a woman, a dear sweet elderly Christian woman. I don't know how the subject came up but I mentioned something about vaginas and clitorises. This woman is at least 30 years older than me, and had been married, to boot, but she had no idea what a clitoris is or where it is. That's sad. I am a virgin and theoretically supposed to be ignorant about such things, but I know what and where it is. I didn't learn it at home, though. If my mother had had her way I suppose I would still be ignorant about such things.
Recently they've been having a debate on the local on-line news about sex education in schools, because apparently there is a new law under consideration dealing with that. Two things about this debate amaze me. One, the number of parents who believe (like my parents) that this is something parents should teach (when?), and how many of the comments from such parents have misspelled words and/or grammar. Not long ago they were discussing spanking in schools and again, many of the pro-spanking comments again had misspelled words and/or grammar. Now, if you are trying to make the point that the reason the schools have all gone to hell is because they are no longer spanking students or they are teaching sex education or they aren't praying or saying the Pledge of Allegiance, submitting misspelled and ungrammatical comments is not the way to make your case. Or maybe it is. Maybe the reason you can't write correctly is because of all of the above!
Anyway, to get back to learning about sex at home from my parents, by the time they even thought about getting around to it I had already learned it from one of my classmates. I still remember how FURIOUS my mother was when she found out. I learned then (if I hadn't before) that there were certain kinds of knowledge that were dangerous. That you had to conceal your knowledge of. To this day I do not understand why she was so angry or what she was so angry about. And that anger was directed at me. There was no doubt about it.
But why? Why should knowing how and where babies come from be so bad? To this day, and I am in my 50's, we have NEVER had that talk. I don't know when she ever planned on it (my wedding night, maybe?). The funny thing is I probably do know more about sex than she does even though I've never had any. Oh, I am sure there is a lot I don't know, but that's all right. If I ever do need to know such things, I know where to get the information.
I still remember my mother censoring a story I wrote in sixth grade. I had written something about a stallion and his mate. My mother objected saying I should not use the word mate, I should use the word mare. At the same time I was reading (with her knowledge and blessing) the "My Friend Flicka" books. If you are only familiar with the Tim McGraw remake, let me tell you it is nothing at all like the original stories. There is a very graphic gelding scene in the first book that sets the stage for all that happens next. The boy, Ken, watches in horror as one of the young geldings dies from the operation and he vows that he will never allow that to happen to any horse of his. That is why he chooses the filly Flicka instead of one of the colts, and later on, when Flicka has a colt of her own, he hides Flicka and her colt so that the colt won't be gelded. As I said, I was reading this stuff with my mother's full knowledge and blessing, yet could not use the word "mate" because of its sexual connotations.
Well . . . if there is a God I guess he must have a sense of humor, because the irony is that I am in a job where I have to use the words penis, vagina, clitoris and testes on an almost daily basis. If I am putting together a document on penile abnormalities and I have a question I either have to pick up the phone or send an e-mail. There is no room for the kind of prudery I was raised with in my line of work. It took a LONG time before I could write these words or even say them without blushing. I still have trouble using them outside of a work setting, particularly if I am around certain people. I find myself using euphemisms. And I think, for God's sake, we are all adults here, why should I have to beat around the bush? (Not that these situations come up a lot, mind you, but every now and then they do.) And even if we are not all adults, why should I still have to beat around the bush? Why is vulva more offensive than nose?
A while back I was at a party and some of the younger people decided to shock us elders by talking about penises and vaginas and such, and I finally got tired of the immaturity and said, you know, people, when you say these words it makes me think about work and I am not here to think about work. They said, what kind of work do you do? I said I have to put together pathology tables about what they find in different organs, so when I hear penis and vagina it is just another set of data points. Those words lost their thrill a long time ago. You might as well be snickering over eyes and livers and ears.
I just don't get it.
