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Roleplay 101

  • Author Author Nitro
  • Create date Create date
  • Blog entry read time Blog entry read time 4 min read
I'm quite sure this blog entry is going to cause a stir, but that is my intention for posting it.
Comment if you like ,but don't expect any more from me beyond this original post, it's my opinion and not a topic I want to debate.


Lately, I've seen a lot of threads where members claim to have to play NT in order to interact with their surroundings. My first question will be to ask those that claim to do if they really do know how to act NT, or is it just their guestimation of how to act? I have stated in the past that I say things that put people at ease, a briefly calculated statement in order to play the next role, not a major effort to be anything other than myself.


Oh, and I managed to make it 50 years on this planet as an autie without knowing or thinking about how I acted, so the mask I wore each time was the one that fit me at the time.
To me, that sounds an awful lot like a day in the life of an NT if I stop and think about it.

"It's so tiring to wear the NT mask" Yeah, it probably is, but once again, do you really know what that mask is, or is it just how you perceive it to be? Sounds like more of useless overthinking to clutter up the hallways of your mind. Na, I'll just continue to be me and think about other important stuff or find more humor in life.


Have you ever considered that all humans must don their masks in order to interact with their world? NTs don't have some magic built-in sense of being that makes them appear wonderful, they all fake it just like those on the spectrum do.

Do they lie to each other? Yes. Why you might ask? In order to not complicate their day.
If everyone overthought their next move, where would they end up? Probably in a very confused mess that was way to cluttered to keep sorted out. So they supposedly tell a fib or two, it's not like they all committed a capital offense they were trying to get away with.
I know just how screwed up my days can be from overthinking, what if everyone's was?

"NTs do everything in their power to screw us autistic people up"
Yup, guess what? Most NTs probably can't tell that you are autie any better than you can tell they are NT.
I'm sure nearly anyone can spot a freakazoid mess if they see one, so it might be best to attempt to stifle that part a bit to not scare others off. I don't think they can narrow it down to specific neurology either, because most of them don't know the whole situation beyond avoiding a crapstorm at all costs.

Once again, I'll call foul here, because all of you never knew what a NT was until you started reading or learned a little about autism.
According to some unreliable sources, the autistic make up about 3% of the population.
Not a great cross-section of individuals if you want awareness for a condition. I'm pretty sure that all of you weren't aware of all of it at one point in time either, so no biggie if you look at it that way.
Now for some additional homework...ever heard of this mental condition? Stendhal Syndrome


Sooo, let's get back to the grandest guessing game in the history of man.
Psychology. Some of it based on fact and long term studies, while the majority of it is based on short term observation in a clinical setting. You probably couldn't get two neuropsychs to agree on where to have lunch most of the time, but you still place full trust in them to determine the outcome of your situation.

Pure autie logic should tell you to not trust a study done over a short term by a single psych or a team of them all in one office.
Once before on this very forum, a dispute broke out between pro diagnostics aspies vs self-diagnosed ones. Neither side is right or wrong due to the subjectivity of it all, because in the end, it is an opinion, not a fact.
I was accused of promoting shopping around for a diagnosis instead of jumping on the first decision made. Most likely a failure either way you do it when you stop and mull it over.
My argument for the selfies was that often the person who has the condition may be the best one to determine what it actually was, IF, key word, they could remain objective enough about themselves to not make their diagnosis fit their agenda. As a whole, people on the autism spectrum have vast variances in intellectual abilities, so some may not be capable of staying on point. Pretty much the same as some of your psych pros if you stop and consider it.

There will probably be more additions to this blog as time goes on or maybe not...

Comments

Beguiling Orbit
Thought provoking, @Nitro. Here’s how I see the concept of NT masks:

We have, through a lifetime trial and error, managed to compile an intuitive composite picture of what works and what doesn’t work in our social interactions with other people, the vast majority of whom have been NTs. Each little interaction that works for us becomes a little piece of the puzzle of social interaction. It’s not how we would normally act if we had our choice, so it’s a mask. As we gain experience, we keep the pieces that work and discard the ones that don’t. With time, we begin to build a mask that helps us interact more effectively with NTs. By definition, that’s an NT mask.

When we, on rare occasion, meet a fellow neuro-atypical in our daily walk through life, they are very aware that we are wearing a mask that’s not really us and will not hesitate to call us on it. Fortunately, we quickly realize that don’t need it with them, so we drop it. But are we wearing another mask, or even multiple masks, underneath it? Perhaps so. I would argue that very few people ever see us completely unmasked. But that might be another discussion for another day. For today, I’ll stick to my defense of the NT mask’s existence.

To your point, though: are we overthinking all this mask wearing? Probably. The masks always have been, and will continue to be, formed intuitively, experience by experience, life-lesson by life-lesson. Gravitate toward what works, steer away from what doesn’t, and pretty soon you’ll have built an intuitive mask. Don’t think about the mask itself. Doing so requires an extra, unnecessary step. Instead, think about the experiences as they accumulate in your daily interactions. That frees up our minds, like you wrote, to think about the important and/or humorous stuff.
 
Nitro
Beguiling Orbit said:
Thought provoking, @Nitro. Here’s how I see the concept of NT masks:

We have, through a lifetime trial and error, managed to compile an intuitive composite picture of what works and what doesn’t work in our social interactions with other people, the vast majority of whom have been NTs. Each little interaction that works for us becomes a little piece of the puzzle of social interaction. It’s not how we would normally act if we had our choice, so it’s a mask. As we gain experience, we keep the pieces that work and discard the ones that don’t. With time, we begin to build a mask that helps us interact more effectively with NTs. By definition, that’s an NT mask.

When we, on rare occasion, meet a fellow neuro-atypical in our daily walk through life, they are very aware that we are wearing a mask that’s not really us and will not hesitate to call us on it. Fortunately, we quickly realize that don’t need it with them, so we drop it. But are we wearing another mask, or even multiple masks, underneath it? Perhaps so. I would argue that very few people ever see us completely unmasked. But that might be another discussion for another day. For today, I’ll stick to my defense of the NT mask’s existence.

To your point, though: are we overthinking all this mask wearing? Probably. The masks always have been, and will continue to be, formed intuitively, experience by experience, life-lesson by life-lesson. Gravitate toward what works, steer away from what doesn’t, and pretty soon you’ll have built an intuitive mask. Don’t think about the mask itself. Doing so requires an extra, unnecessary step. Instead, think about the experiences as they accumulate in your daily interactions. That frees up our minds, like you wrote, to think about the important and/or humorous stuff.
Click to expand...
Interesting...Ok,so what you are saying is that NT children are born with a innate ability to know exactly what does and doesn't work in social interactions without any learning process involved.
 
Beguiling Orbit
Beguiling Orbit said:
Thought provoking, @Nitro. Here’s how I see the concept of NT masks:

We have, through a lifetime trial and error, managed to compile an intuitive composite picture of what works and what doesn’t work in our social interactions with other people, the vast majority of whom have been NTs. Each little interaction that works for us becomes a little piece of the puzzle of social interaction. It’s not how we would normally act if we had our choice, so it’s a mask. As we gain experience, we keep the pieces that work and discard the ones that don’t. With time, we begin to build a mask that helps us interact more effectively with NTs. By definition, that’s an NT mask.

When we, on rare occasion, meet a fellow neuro-atypical in our daily walk through life, they are very aware that we are wearing a mask that’s not really us and will not hesitate to call us on it. Fortunately, we quickly realize that don’t need it with them, so we drop it. But are we wearing another mask, or even multiple masks, underneath it? Perhaps so. I would argue that very few people ever see us completely unmasked. But that might be another discussion for another day. For today, I’ll stick to my defense of the NT mask’s existence.

To your point, though: are we overthinking all this mask wearing? Probably. The masks always have been, and will continue to be, formed intuitively, experience by experience, life-lesson by life-lesson. Gravitate toward what works, steer away from what doesn’t, and pretty soon you’ll have built an intuitive mask. Don’t think about the mask itself. Doing so requires an extra, unnecessary step. Instead, think about the experiences as they accumulate in your daily interactions. That frees up our minds, like you wrote, to think about the important and/or humorous stuff.
Click to expand...
Yes, but so are we. NT's innately understand other NTs. We innately understand other spectrumites. I'm not saying that this ability is fully formed from birth. Babies, whether NT or Aspie, still have to learn the rules (language, for instance, is a big "rule"), but they are predisposed to have fewer barriers to comprehending the social rules of others who are similarly wired.
 
Beguiling Orbit
That's why I love the Cats/Dogs analogy. It's so appropriate in this situation. Imagine a cat spent its entire life with only dogs and had never met another cat. He always wonders why dogs always sniff his butt--and he certainly has a weird bark. He's pretty social, having learned to be from hanging out with dogs, but almost every dog is much more friendly toward humans than he will ever be. He knows he's vastly different from dogs, but doesn't understand why. Then one day the cat meets another cat and everything suddenly falls into place in an aha! moment. He no longer has to wear his dog mask and can be his feline self. The other cat "gets" him instantaneously and he "gets" the other cat.
 
Nitro
Beguiling Orbit said:
That's why I love the Cats/Dogs analogy. It's so appropriate in this situation. Imagine a cat spent its entire life with only dogs and had never met another cat. He always wonders why dogs always sniff his butt--and he certainly has a weird bark. He's pretty social, having learned to be from hanging out with dogs, but almost every dog is much more friendly toward humans than he will ever be. He knows he's vastly different from dogs, but doesn't understand why. Then one day the cat meets another cat and everything suddenly falls into place in an aha! moment. He no longer has to wear his dog mask and can be his feline self. The other cat "gets" him instantaneously and he "gets" the other cat.
Click to expand...
Ok,so a cat growing up as a dog will think he's a dog until he meets another cat.
No,I call foul again,the cat would have no way of knowing he was a cat if he grew up thinking he was a dog.
 
Beguiling Orbit
Beguiling Orbit said:
That's why I love the Cats/Dogs analogy. It's so appropriate in this situation. Imagine a cat spent its entire life with only dogs and had never met another cat. He always wonders why dogs always sniff his butt--and he certainly has a weird bark. He's pretty social, having learned to be from hanging out with dogs, but almost every dog is much more friendly toward humans than he will ever be. He knows he's vastly different from dogs, but doesn't understand why. Then one day the cat meets another cat and everything suddenly falls into place in an aha! moment. He no longer has to wear his dog mask and can be his feline self. The other cat "gets" him instantaneously and he "gets" the other cat.
Click to expand...
He wouldn't know he was a cat. He would know that this new creature acts in a way that makes intuitive sense to him, a way that is very different from the ways of other creatures he has lived with his entire life but never understood.
 
Nitro
Beguiling Orbit said:
That's why I love the Cats/Dogs analogy. It's so appropriate in this situation. Imagine a cat spent its entire life with only dogs and had never met another cat. He always wonders why dogs always sniff his butt--and he certainly has a weird bark. He's pretty social, having learned to be from hanging out with dogs, but almost every dog is much more friendly toward humans than he will ever be. He knows he's vastly different from dogs, but doesn't understand why. Then one day the cat meets another cat and everything suddenly falls into place in an aha! moment. He no longer has to wear his dog mask and can be his feline self. The other cat "gets" him instantaneously and he "gets" the other cat.
Click to expand...
No,like I said in the beginning,I didn't post this to debate it,it is my opinion just like you have yours.
 
Beguiling Orbit
Beguiling Orbit said:
That's why I love the Cats/Dogs analogy. It's so appropriate in this situation. Imagine a cat spent its entire life with only dogs and had never met another cat. He always wonders why dogs always sniff his butt--and he certainly has a weird bark. He's pretty social, having learned to be from hanging out with dogs, but almost every dog is much more friendly toward humans than he will ever be. He knows he's vastly different from dogs, but doesn't understand why. Then one day the cat meets another cat and everything suddenly falls into place in an aha! moment. He no longer has to wear his dog mask and can be his feline self. The other cat "gets" him instantaneously and he "gets" the other cat.
Click to expand...
I know--I'm not debating. I'm just commenting. Promise. :)
 
Voltaic
It defiantly feels like a mask. Everything that nts do that is automated, I have to emulate consiosly. Laugh now, nor now, add a comment of reassurance, smile. Nts follow patterns, I just have to follow the same patterns, and know when to do what, and when to do nothing. It feels 100% like a mask. I can emulate to the point of being unmistakably nt, but it is exhausting, boring, and just feels like it fundementaly clashes with who I am. What I am trying to do is find a balance. I proper mask that shows part of my face. Fit in enough to be sitting social boundaries, but push them, have fun with myself and others, be more myself, and find a way to intersect my wit and diffrentness into daily interactsions like small talk. The problem with emulating is there is no 'me' behind the words i am saying. If I can find a way to emulate, but still show personality, wit, and differentiation from others, then I can talk and maybe enjoy it
 
Nitro
Voltaic said:
It defiantly feels like a mask. Everything that nts do that is automated, I have to emulate consiosly. Laugh now, nor now, add a comment of reassurance, smile. Nts follow patterns, I just have to follow the same patterns, and know when to do what, and when to do nothing. It feels 100% like a mask. I can emulate to the point of being unmistakably nt, but it is exhausting, boring, and just feels like it fundementaly clashes with who I am. What I am trying to do is find a balance. I proper mask that shows part of my face. Fit in enough to be sitting social boundaries, but push them, have fun with myself and others, be more myself, and find a way to intersect my wit and diffrentness into daily interactsions like small talk. The problem with emulating is there is no 'me' behind the words i am saying. If I can find a way to emulate, but still show personality, wit, and differentiation from others, then I can talk and maybe enjoy it
Click to expand...
"Everything that nts do that is automated,I have to emulate consiosly."

What part of this am I supposed to believe,the automated part?
 
Voltaic
Voltaic said:
It defiantly feels like a mask. Everything that nts do that is automated, I have to emulate consiosly. Laugh now, nor now, add a comment of reassurance, smile. Nts follow patterns, I just have to follow the same patterns, and know when to do what, and when to do nothing. It feels 100% like a mask. I can emulate to the point of being unmistakably nt, but it is exhausting, boring, and just feels like it fundementaly clashes with who I am. What I am trying to do is find a balance. I proper mask that shows part of my face. Fit in enough to be sitting social boundaries, but push them, have fun with myself and others, be more myself, and find a way to intersect my wit and diffrentness into daily interactsions like small talk. The problem with emulating is there is no 'me' behind the words i am saying. If I can find a way to emulate, but still show personality, wit, and differentiation from others, then I can talk and maybe enjoy it
Click to expand...
If I understand right. Things that come normal to others I have to consciously force myself to do.
 
Nitro
Voltaic said:
It defiantly feels like a mask. Everything that nts do that is automated, I have to emulate consiosly. Laugh now, nor now, add a comment of reassurance, smile. Nts follow patterns, I just have to follow the same patterns, and know when to do what, and when to do nothing. It feels 100% like a mask. I can emulate to the point of being unmistakably nt, but it is exhausting, boring, and just feels like it fundementaly clashes with who I am. What I am trying to do is find a balance. I proper mask that shows part of my face. Fit in enough to be sitting social boundaries, but push them, have fun with myself and others, be more myself, and find a way to intersect my wit and diffrentness into daily interactsions like small talk. The problem with emulating is there is no 'me' behind the words i am saying. If I can find a way to emulate, but still show personality, wit, and differentiation from others, then I can talk and maybe enjoy it
Click to expand...
"If I understand right. Things that come normal to others I have to consciously force myself to do."

You missed the point,they had to learn it too.
 
Nitro
Voltaic said:
It defiantly feels like a mask. Everything that nts do that is automated, I have to emulate consiosly. Laugh now, nor now, add a comment of reassurance, smile. Nts follow patterns, I just have to follow the same patterns, and know when to do what, and when to do nothing. It feels 100% like a mask. I can emulate to the point of being unmistakably nt, but it is exhausting, boring, and just feels like it fundementaly clashes with who I am. What I am trying to do is find a balance. I proper mask that shows part of my face. Fit in enough to be sitting social boundaries, but push them, have fun with myself and others, be more myself, and find a way to intersect my wit and diffrentness into daily interactsions like small talk. The problem with emulating is there is no 'me' behind the words i am saying. If I can find a way to emulate, but still show personality, wit, and differentiation from others, then I can talk and maybe enjoy it
Click to expand...
You make it sound like personalities only comes in two flavors,neurotypical and neurodiverse.


I know plenty of people that I will assume are NT, assume being the key word,who have little to no personality at all
 
flawedplan
I don't like masks no matter who is wearing them. This is something I'm trying to get my Aspie partner to do -- take a risk and stop trying to pass as NT to let his real self come through. Anyone who has sensitivity and perception will likely see through and rebuff others who wear masks; who laugh when we do, who pretend to feel things they don't, who are agreeable when they are in a bad mood, when they pretend to know what I'm talking about when they don't have a clue but are faking it out of pride because they don't want to look stupid.

This is the cultural norm, we're all expected to get up everyday and put our phony public masks on, and living this way it makes us miserable. We're all penalized for being ourselves, neurology has nothing to do with that.

We all need authentic relationship with the genuine person, warts and all. So masking and copying this benighted idea a proper NT persona leads to nothing but heartache for anyone. Seriously, in this regard, don't be like them. They're doing it wrong.
 

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Nitro
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