Confused and Kind of Upset?

tree · May 26, 2019

You might talk with someone about not feeling you can
trust people, but then that someone would "know things"
about you, and you'd have to trust that person in the first
place to discuss the subject.....

There are other people who have issues trusting people,
of course. Typically a person who doesn't trust is thinking
there are reasons to not trust. The particular reasons vary
from person to person. In general, it's the idea that once
someone "knows" you, that person will have power over
you.

Splatypus · Jun 9, 2019

Catdog55616,
I work in mental health, and have also been through therapy myself, so I thought I'd speak up. First of all, not all therapists are created equal (some do really suck!) and even beyond that, each one has their own personality, strengths and weaknesses, and general approach to things. Finding the right therapist (instead of just a "good" therapist) is a bit like dating: You have to go and meet a few options before finding "the one" for you. Sometimes two people can both be great people, but they just don't "click." And if you can find one that "clicks," you'll find it much easier to trust. But I hear you that there don't seem to be many options nearby. You could try finding an online therapist, such as by using the search feature on https://www.psychologytoday.com/us . However, with whomever you choose to go with, please be aware that we are very accustomed to working with people with trust issues, so it won't be any issue at all for you to simply say "I have trust issues, and will not be able to open up very quickly at all for a very long time, if ever." A good therapist will then GUIDE you into opening up and trusting, pushing your boundaries just a tiny bit at a time, rather than forcing you to move too fast or getting frustrated with you. Be sure to stand up for yourself and speak up if they are asking too much of you and making you uncomfortable. There's a very real chance they didn't realize they were being too demanding, and should appreciate your feedback. Also, you may want to spend some time pondering what things would help you trust, or what kind of things you'd be willing to start with, so you can inform the therapist and take charge of your own trust pace. For me, I initially told my therapist I wanted to learn about my disorder and coping skills, but not discuss anything else. It let me get used to talking to her before talking about anything personal.

catdog55616 · Jun 30, 2019

Splatypus said:
Catdog55616,
I work in mental health, and have also been through therapy myself, so I thought I'd speak up. First of all, not all therapists are created equal (some do really suck!) and even beyond that, each one has their own personality, strengths and weaknesses, and general approach to things. Finding the right therapist (instead of just a "good" therapist) is a bit like dating: You have to go and meet a few options before finding "the one" for you. Sometimes two people can both be great people, but they just don't "click." And if you can find one that "clicks," you'll find it much easier to trust. But I hear you that there don't seem to be many options nearby. You could try finding an online therapist, such as by using the search feature on https://www.psychologytoday.com/us . However, with whomever you choose to go with, please be aware that we are very accustomed to working with people with trust issues, so it won't be any issue at all for you to simply say "I have trust issues, and will not be able to open up very quickly at all for a very long time, if ever." A good therapist will then GUIDE you into opening up and trusting, pushing your boundaries just a tiny bit at a time, rather than forcing you to move too fast or getting frustrated with you. Be sure to stand up for yourself and speak up if they are asking too much of you and making you uncomfortable. There's a very real chance they didn't realize they were being too demanding, and should appreciate your feedback. Also, you may want to spend some time pondering what things would help you trust, or what kind of things you'd be willing to start with, so you can inform the therapist and take charge of your own trust pace. For me, I initially told my therapist I wanted to learn about my disorder and coping skills, but not discuss anything else. It let me get used to talking to her before talking about anything personal.

This was a very helpful and informative message to come back to after so long! I'll check out the website when I have a minute!

Confused and Kind of Upset?

Comments

tree

Splatypus

catdog55616

Blog entry information

More entries in Aspergers & Autism

More entries from catdog55616

Share this entry