Ran out of weed yesterday and had no intention to buy more. This morning is day 1 proper without weed, as I had my last smoke yesterday morning.
Recently I've been making sure I drink enough water each day, and shying away from the usual comfort eating with unhealthy foods and snacks.
Still waiting on a start date with the new job. I'm hoping to have a date confirmed by the end of the week, as I'd like to receive a full month's pay in July, and June ends this week.
My time off thus far was living in a fog with weed. The comfort eating had been reducing, but I knew that I also needed to ditch the weed. I always miss weed once I leave it behind. In recent years the breaks without weed haven't been as long. Usually a handful of months at a time before going back.
Returning this time also coincided with a few months of smoking tobacco too. Working with carers who chain smoked, and some clients who did too - it got me hankering for nicotine again. So today is day 1 proper without weed and day 2 without tobacco.
The other issue of late was seeing escorts. A lot of powerful chemicals are released during these intimate moments, and when I was struggling with mental health and weed, and literally hiding away in my dark room all day at home for 2 weeks - it's understandable that I'd be seeking means to release some feel good chemicals into my brain and life.
I'd been doing some more drawing earlier on in my time off. But it's been about a week since I've been colouring or drawing. No doubt this will return. At present I feel I can't go back to the library to draw, as I gifted my noise cancelling headphones to Meg before we broke up, and for some reason I was adament after we broke up that she should keep them. I'll admit, I rarely used them - but when I did it was always at the library when doing my art.
I don't like cheap electronics, especially when it comes to music. So I wouldn't just grab any old pair to tide me over. But I don't have the funds to sink £400 or more into a new pair of headphones. So I must wait.
After the fireplace guy declined to install the stove I felt somewhat defeated. I know I can find someone to do it, but I think some of it will have to be DIY. I know I'm more than capable of doing it, there's a lot of internal resistance at the moment though.
It's about 6 weeks away from owning the van for 2 years. A lot of time and energy has gone in that direction. Sometimes there's dips in enthusiasm. Mind you, I don't want to stay living in this house. So I need to bite the bullet and finish the final 3 bits so I can be out in the van.
Ed
Recently I've been making sure I drink enough water each day, and shying away from the usual comfort eating with unhealthy foods and snacks.
Still waiting on a start date with the new job. I'm hoping to have a date confirmed by the end of the week, as I'd like to receive a full month's pay in July, and June ends this week.
My time off thus far was living in a fog with weed. The comfort eating had been reducing, but I knew that I also needed to ditch the weed. I always miss weed once I leave it behind. In recent years the breaks without weed haven't been as long. Usually a handful of months at a time before going back.
Returning this time also coincided with a few months of smoking tobacco too. Working with carers who chain smoked, and some clients who did too - it got me hankering for nicotine again. So today is day 1 proper without weed and day 2 without tobacco.
The other issue of late was seeing escorts. A lot of powerful chemicals are released during these intimate moments, and when I was struggling with mental health and weed, and literally hiding away in my dark room all day at home for 2 weeks - it's understandable that I'd be seeking means to release some feel good chemicals into my brain and life.
I'd been doing some more drawing earlier on in my time off. But it's been about a week since I've been colouring or drawing. No doubt this will return. At present I feel I can't go back to the library to draw, as I gifted my noise cancelling headphones to Meg before we broke up, and for some reason I was adament after we broke up that she should keep them. I'll admit, I rarely used them - but when I did it was always at the library when doing my art.
I don't like cheap electronics, especially when it comes to music. So I wouldn't just grab any old pair to tide me over. But I don't have the funds to sink £400 or more into a new pair of headphones. So I must wait.
After the fireplace guy declined to install the stove I felt somewhat defeated. I know I can find someone to do it, but I think some of it will have to be DIY. I know I'm more than capable of doing it, there's a lot of internal resistance at the moment though.
It's about 6 weeks away from owning the van for 2 years. A lot of time and energy has gone in that direction. Sometimes there's dips in enthusiasm. Mind you, I don't want to stay living in this house. So I need to bite the bullet and finish the final 3 bits so I can be out in the van.
Ed
