Ok, this is sort of a rant. I'm feeling frustrated and trapped because what is going on with my living situation.
Basically, to make a long story short, I live in a trailer park that has been foreclosed upon and is up for sale. No one is giving us any information on what is going to happen to us residents. I did find out last night from the Village Council that if the park goes out of business and shuts down, they have rezoned the area and will not allow a new one to reopen on that site. The village has no plans at this time to initiate the shut-down process, so as long as the park is operating as a park it can stay open.
But the writing is definitely on the wall.
So I have been out looking for a new place to live, but my options are severely limited due to the fact I do not have a down payment. Moving my mobile home is out of the question due to zoning regulations. Very few lenders are lending money for mobile, modular or manufactured homes, and anyway I do not qualify for such loans. I have been to 4 different banks, credit unions and mortgage companies. The answer from all of them is the same.
With that said, a co-worker came up to me and said that she knew of someone who had a home in another park who was selling it real cheap. Even if I was interested in moving to another mobile home community (I most definitely am NOT!), there is still the matter of getting the damn thing financed. I have told this person several times that the banks will not lend me money to buy her friend's trailer, even if I wanted to buy it. She just doesn't get it.
I am getting so sick and tired of all the dumb ignorant questions I am receiving from people on this subject. It's obvious they haven't done their homework. But they know better than me what my options are and what the bank will and will not do. I said to this person, why don't you and I make an appointment at (local lending institution) and you can ask them the questions you are asking me, because obviously I am not asking the right questions. She got very insulted at the idea.
Anyway--if you really want to help someone, here are some guidelines.
First, LISTEN. I cannot stress this enough.
Second, it is ok to ask questions like "Have you considered this option?". It may very well be that the person hasn't considered that option. If so he or she will tell you. But only ask ONCE. If the answer is that they have gone and done the things that you are suggesting, and they have run into a roadblock, DO NOT ASK THEM THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER. It's not going to change anything. All you are doing at that point is making the situation worse because 1) it will reveal that you really haven't been listening, 2) that you are an idiot and 3) you seem to be more intent on playing make yourself feel good games than really helping that person. Especially if that person gets frustrated or upset, then you can give yourself more points by saying, see, I tried to help. No. That is not helping.
Third, if you really want to help this person, and you are in a position to do so, i.e., know how to cut red tape, get around obstacles, don't be coy and withhold information that could help them. That is so uncool I don't even know how to express words for it. Especially do not come up afterwards and tell them they made a bad decision. I realize that this is a stretch for a lot of people, but if the problem seems to be that they are running into bureaucratic roadblocks (banks, insurance companies, financial aid), then maybe the best thing that you can do is offer to go with them. Sit down with whoever. And again, LISTEN. You may find out to your great surprise that maybe, just maybe the person who is having a problem isn't just making up excuses for why this or that can't happen. You may learn a thing or two that maybe you didn't know before, because all your life you've lived by certain assumptions. I can tell simply by the way they talk that there are people who have never been denied something that they needed, that do not know what it is like to be blocked at almost every turn, and have almost unlimited choices. They have no idea of what it is like to be at one's wit's end because they've never been there. But they think they know, they think their smooth sailing experience is how it ought to be for everyone, and if it isn't, well obviously, that person is just making excuses.
I am so sick and tired of going out and doing the legwork, making phone calls, googling, talking to officials (bank, governmental) and then being judged by those who have done nothing but sit on their fat asses and saying, "Oh why don't you do this or that?" Why don't they look up the zoning laws FIRST before they open their big mouths? Yes, I am frustrated.
I wish, just once, that someone would ask me, "What do YOU want to do and how can I help you achieve it?" But I know that's never going to happen.
Basically, to make a long story short, I live in a trailer park that has been foreclosed upon and is up for sale. No one is giving us any information on what is going to happen to us residents. I did find out last night from the Village Council that if the park goes out of business and shuts down, they have rezoned the area and will not allow a new one to reopen on that site. The village has no plans at this time to initiate the shut-down process, so as long as the park is operating as a park it can stay open.
But the writing is definitely on the wall.
So I have been out looking for a new place to live, but my options are severely limited due to the fact I do not have a down payment. Moving my mobile home is out of the question due to zoning regulations. Very few lenders are lending money for mobile, modular or manufactured homes, and anyway I do not qualify for such loans. I have been to 4 different banks, credit unions and mortgage companies. The answer from all of them is the same.
With that said, a co-worker came up to me and said that she knew of someone who had a home in another park who was selling it real cheap. Even if I was interested in moving to another mobile home community (I most definitely am NOT!), there is still the matter of getting the damn thing financed. I have told this person several times that the banks will not lend me money to buy her friend's trailer, even if I wanted to buy it. She just doesn't get it.
I am getting so sick and tired of all the dumb ignorant questions I am receiving from people on this subject. It's obvious they haven't done their homework. But they know better than me what my options are and what the bank will and will not do. I said to this person, why don't you and I make an appointment at (local lending institution) and you can ask them the questions you are asking me, because obviously I am not asking the right questions. She got very insulted at the idea.
Anyway--if you really want to help someone, here are some guidelines.
First, LISTEN. I cannot stress this enough.
Second, it is ok to ask questions like "Have you considered this option?". It may very well be that the person hasn't considered that option. If so he or she will tell you. But only ask ONCE. If the answer is that they have gone and done the things that you are suggesting, and they have run into a roadblock, DO NOT ASK THEM THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER. It's not going to change anything. All you are doing at that point is making the situation worse because 1) it will reveal that you really haven't been listening, 2) that you are an idiot and 3) you seem to be more intent on playing make yourself feel good games than really helping that person. Especially if that person gets frustrated or upset, then you can give yourself more points by saying, see, I tried to help. No. That is not helping.
Third, if you really want to help this person, and you are in a position to do so, i.e., know how to cut red tape, get around obstacles, don't be coy and withhold information that could help them. That is so uncool I don't even know how to express words for it. Especially do not come up afterwards and tell them they made a bad decision. I realize that this is a stretch for a lot of people, but if the problem seems to be that they are running into bureaucratic roadblocks (banks, insurance companies, financial aid), then maybe the best thing that you can do is offer to go with them. Sit down with whoever. And again, LISTEN. You may find out to your great surprise that maybe, just maybe the person who is having a problem isn't just making up excuses for why this or that can't happen. You may learn a thing or two that maybe you didn't know before, because all your life you've lived by certain assumptions. I can tell simply by the way they talk that there are people who have never been denied something that they needed, that do not know what it is like to be blocked at almost every turn, and have almost unlimited choices. They have no idea of what it is like to be at one's wit's end because they've never been there. But they think they know, they think their smooth sailing experience is how it ought to be for everyone, and if it isn't, well obviously, that person is just making excuses.
I am so sick and tired of going out and doing the legwork, making phone calls, googling, talking to officials (bank, governmental) and then being judged by those who have done nothing but sit on their fat asses and saying, "Oh why don't you do this or that?" Why don't they look up the zoning laws FIRST before they open their big mouths? Yes, I am frustrated.
I wish, just once, that someone would ask me, "What do YOU want to do and how can I help you achieve it?" But I know that's never going to happen.
