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I don't think i want to be positive anymore

I feel like i am just deluding myself that i am a worthy person whatever. If my mom did know my dad was aspergers she probably would not even marry him. She prob. Did it out of pity anyway. I should not have existed. Maybe even my faith is just bc i am scared of going to hell if i commit suicide. I don't know anymore.

I am a pretentious stupid and worthless person. I wish i was not born because i am no use to anyone. I am a burden on my parents and cannot even do anything for them. Waste of space. All your effort of trying to like yourself was a lie. Hate yourself like you always should

Comments

Sorry you're feeling down. I think the toughest thing about being human is that we're in a constant state of flux. We live between the two extremes of giving up and just accepting everything as it is, and wanting more and making an effort to fix our deficits.

It can be very draining.
 
Thank you. I am sort of detached from my feelings so they don't overwhelm me much. But yesterday i felt like writing this self hatred down because if i did not write it i would feel it even more intensely
 

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AprilR
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