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I need your opinion on something! Comments are welcome!

Good morning y'all!

Today, my goal is to get to know you all a little better. So I have a question for you to comment below your personal opinion. I ask this with utmost respect and confessing I know very little about Aspies (I'm a BPD, and that's completely different).
So my question is this: how do Aspies react when they see someone they like? It can be the first time they see them or it could be after some time of knowing them. What I want to know (to make a better and accurate description of my character's reactions) is A) how do you all feel when you see someone you are attracted to and B) what external signs can be often seen when that happens.

I really appreciate any comments whether short or long. I'd love to know your personal opinion/experience on this subject. Love. Maddie ❤✌

If someone wants to talk to me privately, you can write to me at [email protected] and I'll make sure to write you back :)

Comments

MaddieZabczuk
Just to let everyone know... I'm trying to write a book with a male main character being an Aspie. I want to be as accurate and respectful as I can because I myself suffer from a disorder. It's called Borderline Personality Disorder and it's very frustrating, specially when it comes to my love life. I wanted to know if any of you have struggled with this and how do you feel about it. I know it is very personal but I promise not to use any personal information/experience on my book. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough in my original post. I won't laugh at anything you say because I wouldn't like others laughing at my disorder. I'm just trying to understand what it means to be an Aspie. Love, Maddie ❤
 
Au Naturel
There are different reactions depending on the context, the level of familiarity, previous experience, age, how severe the symptoms and on and on. In general, aspies don't clue in on social signals and don't respond in subtle and sophisticated ways.

Characters like Sheldon Cooper are funny but also demeaning and dismissive. What is cute on the television and funny with good scriptwriting is creepy and tragic in real life.

I can only speak of my personal experience. A different aspie could have entirely different behavior. I think one difference between myself and other Aspies is that when I would fail, I'd internalize it as my problem. The world didn't suck but I sure did. I'm not ok but as long as you aren't targeting me for torment you're fine.

Today, I see an awful lot of externalization, that it is the world's fault for not accepting and appreciating. I'm ok but you suck because you don't "get" me. I think my way leads to depression and self-loathing but possibly also to self-improvement. That is, if you can survive the depression. The other way leads to anger and rage, maybe violence, but not to adaptation and adjustment.

I'm ok and you're ok, we're just different doesn't work. There are a few people out there who will go out of their way to make you understand how not ok you really are because it makes them feel superior. Bullies and narcissists. There are also con artists and manipulators just looking to take advantage of a vulnerable person.

My personal experience is that when I was a teenager I tended to be a puppy dog. I'd hand around them, bask in their radiance and be "nice." The girls I knew weren't interested in puppy dogs, they wanted strong and confident man-boys. This always ended in failure, sometimes with a, "You're such a nice guy but just not for me." speech but more often with, "Get away from me you creep!"
 
Au Naturel
MaddieZabczuk said:
Just to let everyone know... I'm trying to write a book with a male main character being an Aspie. I want to be as accurate and respectful as I can because I myself suffer from a disorder. It's called Borderline Personality Disorder and it's very frustrating, specially when it comes to my love life. I wanted to know if any of you have struggled with this and how do you feel about it. I know it is very personal but I promise not to use any personal information/experience on my book. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough in my original post. I won't laugh at anything you say because I wouldn't like others laughing at my disorder. I'm just trying to understand what it means to be an Aspie. Love, Maddie ❤
Click to expand...
You didn't give an age range, family background, significant others, and any idea where on the spectrum your character might be. Intelligence varies widely as does physical appearance. All that makes a big difference!

Imagine yourself with a completely different history. Your BPD might display completely differently.
 
MaddieZabczuk
Au Naturel said:
There are different reactions depending on the context, the level of familiarity, previous experience, age, how severe the symptoms and on and on. In general, aspies don't clue in on social signals and don't respond in subtle and sophisticated ways.

Characters like Sheldon Cooper are funny but also demeaning and dismissive. What is cute on the television and funny with good scriptwriting is creepy and tragic in real life.

I can only speak of my personal experience. A different aspie could have entirely different behavior. I think one difference between myself and other Aspies is that when I would fail, I'd internalize it as my problem. The world didn't suck but I sure did. I'm not ok but as long as you aren't targeting me for torment you're fine.

Today, I see an awful lot of externalization, that it is the world's fault for not accepting and appreciating. I'm ok but you suck because you don't "get" me. I think my way leads to depression and self-loathing but possibly also to self-improvement. That is, if you can survive the depression. The other way leads to anger and rage, maybe violence, but not to adaptation and adjustment.

I'm ok and you're ok, we're just different doesn't work. There are a few people out there who will go out of their way to make you understand how not ok you really are because it makes them feel superior. Bullies and narcissists. There are also con artists and manipulators just looking to take advantage of a vulnerable person.

My personal experience is that when I was a teenager I tended to be a puppy dog. I'd hand around them, bask in their radiance and be "nice." The girls I knew weren't interested in puppy dogs, they wanted strong and confident man-boys. This always ended in failure, sometimes with a, "You're such a nice guy but just not for me." speech but more often with, "Get away from me you creep!"
Click to expand...
Thanks for having the courage to be the first to answer my question. I know it's not easy to have that kind of deep insight of a problem you don't have, but I can assure you I'm trying to understand all that you said as hard as I'd like someone to try to understand my BPD.
 
MaddieZabczuk
Au Naturel said:
There are different reactions depending on the context, the level of familiarity, previous experience, age, how severe the symptoms and on and on. In general, aspies don't clue in on social signals and don't respond in subtle and sophisticated ways.

Characters like Sheldon Cooper are funny but also demeaning and dismissive. What is cute on the television and funny with good scriptwriting is creepy and tragic in real life.

I can only speak of my personal experience. A different aspie could have entirely different behavior. I think one difference between myself and other Aspies is that when I would fail, I'd internalize it as my problem. The world didn't suck but I sure did. I'm not ok but as long as you aren't targeting me for torment you're fine.

Today, I see an awful lot of externalization, that it is the world's fault for not accepting and appreciating. I'm ok but you suck because you don't "get" me. I think my way leads to depression and self-loathing but possibly also to self-improvement. That is, if you can survive the depression. The other way leads to anger and rage, maybe violence, but not to adaptation and adjustment.

I'm ok and you're ok, we're just different doesn't work. There are a few people out there who will go out of their way to make you understand how not ok you really are because it makes them feel superior. Bullies and narcissists. There are also con artists and manipulators just looking to take advantage of a vulnerable person.

My personal experience is that when I was a teenager I tended to be a puppy dog. I'd hand around them, bask in their radiance and be "nice." The girls I knew weren't interested in puppy dogs, they wanted strong and confident man-boys. This always ended in failure, sometimes with a, "You're such a nice guy but just not for me." speech but more often with, "Get away from me you creep!"
Click to expand...
I'll have in mind all that you said, and if you let me, I can write you a PM about my character, because I need some real help here. Of course only if you want. Thanks for replying. You don't have an idea how much it meant to me that someone, you, had replied to my question so sincerely
 

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