When I was young, like 4 - 5 years old, my parents used to fight all the time during the nights, I know because I remember every single fight that use to wake me up almost every time, my father start cheating my mother with multiple women and he doesn't even care for his family, and mostly the health of his wife, the family start to break apart because of his fault, my mother started to enter into a suicidal-depressive mood that was extremely alarming, she doesn't had the support of her own family; her mother & her brothers, they were just with her when she was on a good mood to solve their problems, because they didn't want to solve them by their own, so I had to become the "pillar" for my mother, I also have a brother, he is older than me but he didn't want to be involve on my mother recovery from her depression. She is very devoted to her religious beliefs, so when I was 8 until I was 14 years old, I had to go to church almost every weekday and it was stressing for me but I had to be with my mother almost all the time, she was afraid to be left alone because of her anxiety attacks. Since I become the "pillar" for my mother I start with a little bit of depressive-exhausting mood and an Emotional Deprivation Disorder that was very difficult for my age:
· Age 5 - 7; sleep less than 7 hours, start to be punished at school because of things I can't remember (age 5 - 6), started to become more quiet and unsociable, grades lower or equal to 8/10.
· Age 8 - 10; sleep less than 6 hours, become even more quiet and unsociable (almost completely), start to lose friends and self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 8/10 - 7/10.
· Age 11 - 12; sleep less than 6 - 5 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, no friends, neither self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 8/10 - 6/10.
· Age 13 - 14; sleep less than 5 - 4 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, a little group of friends (females & males), not much self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 7/10 - 5/10.
· Age 15 - 17; sleep less than 4 - 1 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, no friends, neither self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 6/10 - 4/10.
My mother has never thanked me because all the sacrifice I made for her, she just thanked to "God" and left me aside, and she is always blaming me for my bad grades at school, I always try to do my best but I just can't, and my supposedly laziness, cause by my depression that she didn't know about. I know that some of you may say that I need to talk with her about my depression but I just can't tell her, my brother had some serious mental problems and I’m afraid that if I tell her she might put me on a psychiatric institution.
· Age 5 - 7; sleep less than 7 hours, start to be punished at school because of things I can't remember (age 5 - 6), started to become more quiet and unsociable, grades lower or equal to 8/10.
· Age 8 - 10; sleep less than 6 hours, become even more quiet and unsociable (almost completely), start to lose friends and self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 8/10 - 7/10.
· Age 11 - 12; sleep less than 6 - 5 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, no friends, neither self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 8/10 - 6/10.
· Age 13 - 14; sleep less than 5 - 4 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, a little group of friends (females & males), not much self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 7/10 - 5/10.
· Age 15 - 17; sleep less than 4 - 1 hours, quiet, unsociable & antisocial, no friends, neither self-esteem, grades lower or equal to 6/10 - 4/10.
My mother has never thanked me because all the sacrifice I made for her, she just thanked to "God" and left me aside, and she is always blaming me for my bad grades at school, I always try to do my best but I just can't, and my supposedly laziness, cause by my depression that she didn't know about. I know that some of you may say that I need to talk with her about my depression but I just can't tell her, my brother had some serious mental problems and I’m afraid that if I tell her she might put me on a psychiatric institution.
