There is something that I am now considering. That my misery cycle had a side component to it. Not that it is surprising. But I think I put myself in a infinite loop of autistic burnout because of stress and anxiety.
It would explain alot. My mental state being what it's been, fueled my anxiety. Because I held in emotions and kept myself in a state of perpetual anxiety. I effectively put myself in a heavy burnout infinite loop. Leaving me with little mental peace and patience for hardly anything more than a few minutes to an hour. Whatever happiness I ecked out, was from videogames.
My psychological state and my autistic burnout have effectively been in a feedback loop. If I have even mild anxiety. It starts draining my capacity to do much else, as my mental state plumets. I burnout, making my mental state worsen.
Once that happens, it's like a infinite loop that traps me in negativity and overwhelm. And breaking out becomes a chore because of how quickly my backslide overwhelms me, if I don't catch it in the very early stages.
My already fragile mental state from narcissistic abuse doesn't help. But I have to really work on that. Because everything else is only overwhelming, only because of my anxiety from my trama.
It would explain alot. My mental state being what it's been, fueled my anxiety. Because I held in emotions and kept myself in a state of perpetual anxiety. I effectively put myself in a heavy burnout infinite loop. Leaving me with little mental peace and patience for hardly anything more than a few minutes to an hour. Whatever happiness I ecked out, was from videogames.
My psychological state and my autistic burnout have effectively been in a feedback loop. If I have even mild anxiety. It starts draining my capacity to do much else, as my mental state plumets. I burnout, making my mental state worsen.
Once that happens, it's like a infinite loop that traps me in negativity and overwhelm. And breaking out becomes a chore because of how quickly my backslide overwhelms me, if I don't catch it in the very early stages.
My already fragile mental state from narcissistic abuse doesn't help. But I have to really work on that. Because everything else is only overwhelming, only because of my anxiety from my trama.
