First time blogging, not sure if there are rules. I'm just posting this thought since I can't find a place in the forums that fits. I need to get this out.
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Have you ever been told you can't do something just because of a handicap or two? All my childhood I've been told by doctors who were there to support me that I can't go far in life because of my "condition", or as I like to name it, "who I am". I'm an aspie, I don't make eye contact naturally, I can't stand certain textures, loud noises bother me, I take most things literally, body language is a foreign language, and so on. Does this mean I won't go far? Hell no! It simply means that I'll just have to work harder!
To fight these doctors I made a promise to myself as a kid. I told myself that I would never use my mental illnesses (aspergers, bi-polar, and later schizophrenia) as the reason/excuse for my actions. After that point I wouldn't scream, tense up, or appear uncomfortable around loud noises and instead just put up with them. Someone wants me to try a food that has a bad texture, I'll deal. I almost treated being "who I am" as a person with a bunch of fears. With phobias, you expose the person who is afraid gradually to the thing that scares them. Of course this doesn't work with being autistic, but I'm trying.
Today I've even taken it as far as working at a haunted house to make my wife happy. I hate the makeup I have to wear, the texture bothers me. There are loud sounds and strobe lights everywhere, it is the definition of sensory overload. I'd say you all should come see my work, but I wouldn't wish that on another aspie. Why do I put up with all of that? Because I can't let my "handicap" get in the way of a "normal" life. I have always felt that if a neurotypical could do something, I should be able to as well.
Oh, and I work as a salesman. What better way to try and read people's body language?
I can't stand not being neurotypical. Most of my life has been towards the pursuit of happiness, aka being neurotypical. It's a fight I have taken up, but I often question is it a fight worth doing. If I just accepted who I am I might be happier over time. Avoid the haunt because it bothers my senses, find another job that removes me from the public, etc., I'd feel as if though I would create an Us and them situation, aspie vs. neurotypical. Also, the easy route is often not the best route. I feel fighting is the best route.
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Have you ever been told you can't do something just because of a handicap or two? All my childhood I've been told by doctors who were there to support me that I can't go far in life because of my "condition", or as I like to name it, "who I am". I'm an aspie, I don't make eye contact naturally, I can't stand certain textures, loud noises bother me, I take most things literally, body language is a foreign language, and so on. Does this mean I won't go far? Hell no! It simply means that I'll just have to work harder!
To fight these doctors I made a promise to myself as a kid. I told myself that I would never use my mental illnesses (aspergers, bi-polar, and later schizophrenia) as the reason/excuse for my actions. After that point I wouldn't scream, tense up, or appear uncomfortable around loud noises and instead just put up with them. Someone wants me to try a food that has a bad texture, I'll deal. I almost treated being "who I am" as a person with a bunch of fears. With phobias, you expose the person who is afraid gradually to the thing that scares them. Of course this doesn't work with being autistic, but I'm trying.
Today I've even taken it as far as working at a haunted house to make my wife happy. I hate the makeup I have to wear, the texture bothers me. There are loud sounds and strobe lights everywhere, it is the definition of sensory overload. I'd say you all should come see my work, but I wouldn't wish that on another aspie. Why do I put up with all of that? Because I can't let my "handicap" get in the way of a "normal" life. I have always felt that if a neurotypical could do something, I should be able to as well.
Oh, and I work as a salesman. What better way to try and read people's body language?
I can't stand not being neurotypical. Most of my life has been towards the pursuit of happiness, aka being neurotypical. It's a fight I have taken up, but I often question is it a fight worth doing. If I just accepted who I am I might be happier over time. Avoid the haunt because it bothers my senses, find another job that removes me from the public, etc., I'd feel as if though I would create an Us and them situation, aspie vs. neurotypical. Also, the easy route is often not the best route. I feel fighting is the best route.
