I'd always wondered about stimming. Something I've not been aware of doing, and yet the descriptions had some sort of frisson for me, but I never got my head around why that would be. I've felt desire to fiddle with fingers or objects, but as soon as, that seems to be internally suppressed.
After vomiting out another rhyme just now, I suddenly twigged that this actually may well be stimming! As a child, even the smallest detected fidgeting (as it was, and still is know as) was absolutely not acceptable in public (which included simply being in sight of parents under any circumstance). So me and my two sisters were never allowed to do this unless alone and unseen (which were the least stressful times, and I suspect when I would have far less need for it).
So it just occurred to me the primary aspect of stimming that seem prevalent among many is the repetitive sequences, regular patterns of some sort. And isn't that what rhyming is?
The regular da da, da da, da da of the lines (or whatever metre is used), the matching of rhyming words and trying to find interesting one's rather than building a mindscape of image with the words. It's all about patterns and matching, not much to do with evoking anything grand or beautiful. More like a Spirograph pattern than a lush oil painting. And in that structure, stuff leaks out that otherwise stays hidden for the most part.
I certainly find it therapeutic, and it opens parts of the subconscious I would find hard to access otherwise, and yes, it's actually pleasing and calming to do. Does that sound like stimming? Maybe the biggest anomaly is that it isn't just stressful moments that bring it on it seems, but it is hugely compelling at times and mostly comes from beneath my normal consciousness.
Maybe I'm deluding myself, maybe I simply don't stim, or do it in other ways I'm not aware of at all? Maybe the rhyming is just an aspect of my obsession with abstract pattern and structure?
Who can say, but it was an interesting possible insight.
After vomiting out another rhyme just now, I suddenly twigged that this actually may well be stimming! As a child, even the smallest detected fidgeting (as it was, and still is know as) was absolutely not acceptable in public (which included simply being in sight of parents under any circumstance). So me and my two sisters were never allowed to do this unless alone and unseen (which were the least stressful times, and I suspect when I would have far less need for it).
So it just occurred to me the primary aspect of stimming that seem prevalent among many is the repetitive sequences, regular patterns of some sort. And isn't that what rhyming is?
The regular da da, da da, da da of the lines (or whatever metre is used), the matching of rhyming words and trying to find interesting one's rather than building a mindscape of image with the words. It's all about patterns and matching, not much to do with evoking anything grand or beautiful. More like a Spirograph pattern than a lush oil painting. And in that structure, stuff leaks out that otherwise stays hidden for the most part.
I certainly find it therapeutic, and it opens parts of the subconscious I would find hard to access otherwise, and yes, it's actually pleasing and calming to do. Does that sound like stimming? Maybe the biggest anomaly is that it isn't just stressful moments that bring it on it seems, but it is hugely compelling at times and mostly comes from beneath my normal consciousness.
Maybe I'm deluding myself, maybe I simply don't stim, or do it in other ways I'm not aware of at all? Maybe the rhyming is just an aspect of my obsession with abstract pattern and structure?
Who can say, but it was an interesting possible insight.
