Haven't been on here as much. No particular reason why, really. I've just been into Netflix and video games and busy with work. I tried grilled cheese with tomato soup yesterday and it was really good. My mom always made it with mac n cheese from a box as a kid and she's not big on soup so I've never actually had tomato soup till yesterday. It was delicious. I'm gonna buy a few cans of it at the store after work tonight so I can have it. Its low in calories (I really need to go on a proper diet) and its healthy enough I guess. Its tomatoes and its got potassium in it which my family doctor said I need more of. I bought bananas and i'm going to try and make pancakes too. Never made them myself before but I've seen my mom do it enough times so it shouldn't be that hard. I've got the stuff already to make pasta as well. I think the end goal is to cut out my excessive snacking and eat better, bigger meals. I've found that if I eat a big, filling meal I'll stay away from the snacks. Learning how to make good food for a big meal for myself at home is the issue though.
Though if i'm honest, its really a normal sized meal for regular adults, I swear. Growing up I was underweight and got told I eat like a bird a lot. So when I decided I didn't like feeling lethargic all the time I tried to put on weight and it backfired cause I did it the wrong way. Now I've got what to me looks like a few pounds extra weight that I don't like the look of. My mom diets the unhealthy way by replacing 2/3 meals with protein shakes and having a big lunch...and considering she's a personal trainer with a certification for nutrition too its very hypocritical. Her clients ask her diet and food questions all the time and I feel like she just bs's them cause she makes it sound like she eats way healthier than she really does. She tells her client its a lifestyle change not a diet and yet her lifestyle change for dieting is not healthy. Its not a good model for kids or clients. I've always thought she's borderline eating disorder - like she constantly toes the line with her unhealthy habits.
My point is that I want to do it the way I've always thought was the right way. Try a variety of foods from the different food groups in different ways and find ones you like. Try to eat from all the food groups. Eat more rounded meals. That sort of thing. I really hope dad and mom get divorced by new years but its about October and they haven't even dicussed the idea with us. Dad said he hoped that would be the case - divorced by new years - but I don't think its gonna happen. That's been what I was holding onto. The possibility of living with dad instead. He's not ideal but I feel comfortable around him. I like being around him. I feel like living with him i'd be comfortable branching out and actually learning to live. He's teaching me how to drive and he can help me learn to cook cause i wanna learn but mom's not that good of a cook. Plus with mom she's got clients coming and going all day in our space. I feel like I can't even go downstairs to heat up a meal without being in the way or unknowingly upsetting her clients cause they are there to lose weight not be tempted by food.
Though if i'm honest, its really a normal sized meal for regular adults, I swear. Growing up I was underweight and got told I eat like a bird a lot. So when I decided I didn't like feeling lethargic all the time I tried to put on weight and it backfired cause I did it the wrong way. Now I've got what to me looks like a few pounds extra weight that I don't like the look of. My mom diets the unhealthy way by replacing 2/3 meals with protein shakes and having a big lunch...and considering she's a personal trainer with a certification for nutrition too its very hypocritical. Her clients ask her diet and food questions all the time and I feel like she just bs's them cause she makes it sound like she eats way healthier than she really does. She tells her client its a lifestyle change not a diet and yet her lifestyle change for dieting is not healthy. Its not a good model for kids or clients. I've always thought she's borderline eating disorder - like she constantly toes the line with her unhealthy habits.
My point is that I want to do it the way I've always thought was the right way. Try a variety of foods from the different food groups in different ways and find ones you like. Try to eat from all the food groups. Eat more rounded meals. That sort of thing. I really hope dad and mom get divorced by new years but its about October and they haven't even dicussed the idea with us. Dad said he hoped that would be the case - divorced by new years - but I don't think its gonna happen. That's been what I was holding onto. The possibility of living with dad instead. He's not ideal but I feel comfortable around him. I like being around him. I feel like living with him i'd be comfortable branching out and actually learning to live. He's teaching me how to drive and he can help me learn to cook cause i wanna learn but mom's not that good of a cook. Plus with mom she's got clients coming and going all day in our space. I feel like I can't even go downstairs to heat up a meal without being in the way or unknowingly upsetting her clients cause they are there to lose weight not be tempted by food.
