Tonight's medium was excellent, and I was lucky enough to get a reading with her.
For me she took messages from her guides, as opposed to relaying information from dead family or friends coming forward. She delivered new topics unprompted by myself.
She spoke of my deep love of art. And how that will manifest as psychic artwork in the future. She said my art will very much be done in my own style as I am my own person. Which, to look at me you'd assume - but for most of my adult life I have lived for, and through other people.
People-pleasing to a point of running on fumes for most of my adult life. Entering friendships and many relationships when each time my gut said "no" but I went on regardless. I've known for years that I must be true to myself, and that it's not selfish live for myself. It's been extremely empowering, especially in recent weeks with my re-awakening.
Whilst I have grown and learned lessons in these relationships, I also know that I have given too much, and have ended up deeply hurt many times. I know a lot of my depression has been created outside of relationships, and yet; I am a highly sensitive person; and relationships have amplified the good and bad far beyond what felt manageable. Finding your way in life is hard. With this sensitivity, and losing myself and my identity in relationships has been exhausting. Now is the time for me to live for myself - and define who I am.
One person in particular has been in my thoughts for hours each day; every day - for 2 years. She's in my dreams each week as well. Last night, on my walk I felt lost in thought; it was very painful. My guides loudly intervened in no uncertain terms to reaffirm what I knew in my gut. It was a torrent of information that rebuilt my resolve to stop looking back. Since then, the past 24 hours I've felt calm and free from the ruminating.
She is my soul mate, but we were not ready to be in a relationship when we met. We first met each other on my birthday, which has made the past 2 quite difficult.
Not only were we not ready to date when we met, but we are not ready now - and won't be for years. This fact has been agonising. I disregarded my gut, and within a few weeks of meeting her, we threw caution to the wind and we pursued a relationship.
My feelings of not being good enough ended up making my behaviour far too much for either of us to handle. The sort of behaviour which attempts to keep someone close to you, but ends up pushing them away. It's difficult to let such a person go - but after our first arguement we ended it, as otherwise it would've damaged things too much to forcibly continue the relationship.
The time was not right. We both need time and growth. My gut has no doubt they're the person for me. The bond on the day we first met was unlike anything I've ever encountered.
My guide said to stop looking back - closing the door right now is what's needed. I can't proceed on my path when I keep looking back and torturing myself with "what if's" and devising possible scenarios where I could've been "more" and it might've worked.
The medium last week echoed this sentiment when he said I've been lost looking back so much, and that I need to close that door and nail it shut.
When the time is right, things will play out how they need to. In the mean time; I know that yoga and spiritualism will become an even bigger part of my life - and the wounds and trauma of the past will heal. Changes are beginning to happen, and now that I'm opening up - these changes will come thick and fast.
Tonight's medium sensed that deep sadness and pain I've lived with. It's been a very long road with depression - over half of my life. Yet in recent weeks the progress and opening up spiritually has been astounding. The medium correctly said I've started to hear the voices of spirit. I said I had not been ready for a long time, but now I'm opening up - her face looked very happy, as did the leader of the spiritualist circle. Of course, saying you're hearing voices would be a red flag to a lot in society - they'd call you mad, or worse.
Interesting to note the medium had extremely strong readings, information and clarity with audience members who were spiritual. Those who were not - she struggled with various connections and names etc. The mind has to be open - if you shut yourself in/down, then this can't come through. It's what I've done for such a long time. But spirit is patient, and time is only linear in our physical existence, within the confines of our reality.
The medium expressed that big changes are due this time next year - which is when I plan on my extended visit to India. She told me spirit is utterly thrilled with the new doors that have opened for me; and that they literally want to pick me up and throw me through, because so many changes are ahead.
I already know I'm an old soul, and that this is my last visit to the physical plane. This information has been confirmed by various others too. We have the information of our past lives within, yet most minds remain closed to ever believing such things, let alone attempting to open their minds to access it.
This is the beginning of a fantastic new chapter in my life - not only with my new job, but also with opening up spiritually. The medium asked if I was a member of the circle; which helps people to train up their abilities. I said I wasn't, and she turned to the leader of the circle and said "You need him."
She also told me - there is no beginning, there is no end - there is only one. She then told me she didn't know what that means. But I know exactly what she means - it's been a deep and profound realisation of late; and I know exactly what this relates to.
She confirmed that I had a new job - but that this year was not the one to be making other big changes. Which I know - this is the year I build upon what I have; next year is when things really start to snowball.
The medium said I had a fantastic life ahead - she seemed very energised and happy by saying this. I've discussed in depth with my mum about the future path with spirituality, and it's profound, it spans a lifetime, and involves many people and many countries.
During the reading I caught glances from my mum, and the head of the spiritualist church - along with many people watching me closely in the audience. Warm smiles and intrigued looks. A lot of positive energy.
As ever - I won prizes in the raffle. Soon as I see the table of tickets my gut focuses on a number - and I always get a prize. After the raffle I walked up to the medium and thanked her, but also asked if she does one to one readings - and she does. So I got her number. She lives in the town I used to live in for over 4 years. It's always nice to go back there - so I'll see her soon.
I also spoke with the woman from last week - the one I approached after the medium had finished. As I'd noticed she was very tearful after her reading and I offered her a hug. First time ever doing such a thing to a stranger.
Tonight she had an intriguing reading from the medium too, so we chatted. I could tell she too has had a long journey with anxiety and depression. I wanted to open up and share with her - as I know that path only too well. I'd also intended to ask if she wanted to meet up some time, but the timing wasn't right. Still, it will come when it will come. Mind you, the intention is simply making a new friend; I know my path lies with another. I also know the next 3 years I will be single.
I was so exhausted after work I wondered if I would be able to handle a full room of people. In fact - 20 minutes before we were due to leave I lay on the bed and pondered a power nap. But within minutes of lying down I got a second wind and felt energised.
It's late now though - and I must be up early. I have 3 days of shadowing other Support Workers. As the client has complex needs, the shadowing period lasts over a month - but it's been a very good start with them, and we get on well with each other.
One final word - the medium saw a large American Akita sat next to me, and said I will have such a dog in the future. She said it was a very big dog. Suits me - I love big, fluffy dogs. I will happily acquire one when the time is right.
For me she took messages from her guides, as opposed to relaying information from dead family or friends coming forward. She delivered new topics unprompted by myself.
She spoke of my deep love of art. And how that will manifest as psychic artwork in the future. She said my art will very much be done in my own style as I am my own person. Which, to look at me you'd assume - but for most of my adult life I have lived for, and through other people.
People-pleasing to a point of running on fumes for most of my adult life. Entering friendships and many relationships when each time my gut said "no" but I went on regardless. I've known for years that I must be true to myself, and that it's not selfish live for myself. It's been extremely empowering, especially in recent weeks with my re-awakening.
Whilst I have grown and learned lessons in these relationships, I also know that I have given too much, and have ended up deeply hurt many times. I know a lot of my depression has been created outside of relationships, and yet; I am a highly sensitive person; and relationships have amplified the good and bad far beyond what felt manageable. Finding your way in life is hard. With this sensitivity, and losing myself and my identity in relationships has been exhausting. Now is the time for me to live for myself - and define who I am.
One person in particular has been in my thoughts for hours each day; every day - for 2 years. She's in my dreams each week as well. Last night, on my walk I felt lost in thought; it was very painful. My guides loudly intervened in no uncertain terms to reaffirm what I knew in my gut. It was a torrent of information that rebuilt my resolve to stop looking back. Since then, the past 24 hours I've felt calm and free from the ruminating.
She is my soul mate, but we were not ready to be in a relationship when we met. We first met each other on my birthday, which has made the past 2 quite difficult.
Not only were we not ready to date when we met, but we are not ready now - and won't be for years. This fact has been agonising. I disregarded my gut, and within a few weeks of meeting her, we threw caution to the wind and we pursued a relationship.
My feelings of not being good enough ended up making my behaviour far too much for either of us to handle. The sort of behaviour which attempts to keep someone close to you, but ends up pushing them away. It's difficult to let such a person go - but after our first arguement we ended it, as otherwise it would've damaged things too much to forcibly continue the relationship.
The time was not right. We both need time and growth. My gut has no doubt they're the person for me. The bond on the day we first met was unlike anything I've ever encountered.
My guide said to stop looking back - closing the door right now is what's needed. I can't proceed on my path when I keep looking back and torturing myself with "what if's" and devising possible scenarios where I could've been "more" and it might've worked.
The medium last week echoed this sentiment when he said I've been lost looking back so much, and that I need to close that door and nail it shut.
When the time is right, things will play out how they need to. In the mean time; I know that yoga and spiritualism will become an even bigger part of my life - and the wounds and trauma of the past will heal. Changes are beginning to happen, and now that I'm opening up - these changes will come thick and fast.
Tonight's medium sensed that deep sadness and pain I've lived with. It's been a very long road with depression - over half of my life. Yet in recent weeks the progress and opening up spiritually has been astounding. The medium correctly said I've started to hear the voices of spirit. I said I had not been ready for a long time, but now I'm opening up - her face looked very happy, as did the leader of the spiritualist circle. Of course, saying you're hearing voices would be a red flag to a lot in society - they'd call you mad, or worse.
Interesting to note the medium had extremely strong readings, information and clarity with audience members who were spiritual. Those who were not - she struggled with various connections and names etc. The mind has to be open - if you shut yourself in/down, then this can't come through. It's what I've done for such a long time. But spirit is patient, and time is only linear in our physical existence, within the confines of our reality.
The medium expressed that big changes are due this time next year - which is when I plan on my extended visit to India. She told me spirit is utterly thrilled with the new doors that have opened for me; and that they literally want to pick me up and throw me through, because so many changes are ahead.
I already know I'm an old soul, and that this is my last visit to the physical plane. This information has been confirmed by various others too. We have the information of our past lives within, yet most minds remain closed to ever believing such things, let alone attempting to open their minds to access it.
This is the beginning of a fantastic new chapter in my life - not only with my new job, but also with opening up spiritually. The medium asked if I was a member of the circle; which helps people to train up their abilities. I said I wasn't, and she turned to the leader of the circle and said "You need him."
She also told me - there is no beginning, there is no end - there is only one. She then told me she didn't know what that means. But I know exactly what she means - it's been a deep and profound realisation of late; and I know exactly what this relates to.
She confirmed that I had a new job - but that this year was not the one to be making other big changes. Which I know - this is the year I build upon what I have; next year is when things really start to snowball.
The medium said I had a fantastic life ahead - she seemed very energised and happy by saying this. I've discussed in depth with my mum about the future path with spirituality, and it's profound, it spans a lifetime, and involves many people and many countries.
During the reading I caught glances from my mum, and the head of the spiritualist church - along with many people watching me closely in the audience. Warm smiles and intrigued looks. A lot of positive energy.
As ever - I won prizes in the raffle. Soon as I see the table of tickets my gut focuses on a number - and I always get a prize. After the raffle I walked up to the medium and thanked her, but also asked if she does one to one readings - and she does. So I got her number. She lives in the town I used to live in for over 4 years. It's always nice to go back there - so I'll see her soon.
I also spoke with the woman from last week - the one I approached after the medium had finished. As I'd noticed she was very tearful after her reading and I offered her a hug. First time ever doing such a thing to a stranger.
Tonight she had an intriguing reading from the medium too, so we chatted. I could tell she too has had a long journey with anxiety and depression. I wanted to open up and share with her - as I know that path only too well. I'd also intended to ask if she wanted to meet up some time, but the timing wasn't right. Still, it will come when it will come. Mind you, the intention is simply making a new friend; I know my path lies with another. I also know the next 3 years I will be single.
I was so exhausted after work I wondered if I would be able to handle a full room of people. In fact - 20 minutes before we were due to leave I lay on the bed and pondered a power nap. But within minutes of lying down I got a second wind and felt energised.
It's late now though - and I must be up early. I have 3 days of shadowing other Support Workers. As the client has complex needs, the shadowing period lasts over a month - but it's been a very good start with them, and we get on well with each other.
One final word - the medium saw a large American Akita sat next to me, and said I will have such a dog in the future. She said it was a very big dog. Suits me - I love big, fluffy dogs. I will happily acquire one when the time is right.
