The second medium circle last Wednesday was nice. A few less than the previous week, but a nice energy. We did another guided meditation along with drawing 2 cards from 2 different tarot.
From the Medicine Cards I got 43 (my lucky number) and the animal was a spider. What it spoke of was interesting, especially with my past. It spoke of being wary of what you trap within your web, and what is kept close to you. Such as negativity, unhelpful feelings, draining people etc. The message was to spin a new web, and attract and hold onto that which is positive to me - along with pursuing creativity; something I've been doing a lot of recently.
The other card from a different tarot was 37 - Time Out. Again, calling out where I'm currently at in needing time for myself. I'd distanced myself from numerous people recently. Keeping an eye on my mood and tolerances and socialising on my terms. I know there needs to be much more focus on what lies within me, rather than seeking validation through others. Also tackling the chronic lonliness, that crops up now and again. Whilst it's improved considerably since the spiritual awakening, it can still hit home now and then.
Last Thursday during the platform medium's session. When she spoke to me her mood was different to everyone else she'd spoken to. She gave me a reading and became quite overwhelmed by the strength of the energy. She thanked me for the healing and work I've done thus far. She had a message from my great grandfather, along with advice to stop taking heed of everyone else's advice. Learning to say "no" has felt empowering, and time and again I've encountered people's suggestions which clash with my own. Politeness remains, but I do tire of encountering so many suggestions that instantly make me feel tense within. I'm going my own way, and it's nice the medium echoed that sentiment. I felt a nice connection from her, so after she'd finished I approached her and asked for a 1-to-1 session which will be happening this Wednesday. It'll be nice as my mentor is on holiday that day, so there's no medium training until the following Wednesday.
My job is going very well. I've had many wonderful experiences, laughter, interesting moments, and unique challenges which I've handled calmly, and it's helping me grow in strength.
Outside of work, I met someone special a few weeks ago (nope, not dating again) - a lovely encounter, and they became very tearful with happiness and sorrow at the end, thanking me for being a support worker, as their 2 children with special needs wouldn't be where they are today without people such as myself. She also did a tarot reading for me; another apt reading for where I was in life, and where I'm heading. Trauma bonding is interesting, but I know I've gone through what I have to provide healing to others, and I knew the moment I met her that she'd suffered a lot in life.
They wanted to stay in contact, and I fear things have gone off the rails for them once again. But I'm keeping my distance at the moment, they're working hard on where they need to get to in life, and battling addictions along the way. I'm sure we'll eventually meet again; but I'm also wary of what I can and cannot afford to do right now to help other people. I lose myself too easily in others, and their emotions and struggles become mine. So I'm putting up healthy boundaries. With putting a lot of myself and energies into helping service users I work with, I'm ensuring my free time is best spent pursuing that which will help, rather than hinder me and my energies.
Starting the gym in 10 days. Eating healthy is going well, and once paired with exercise; I think I'll get back to where I wanted to be, and then go above and beyond into new territories. The membership will include the gym, sauna and swimming pool. Mon/Wed/Fri - an hour in the gym, then swimming to help wind down the muscles and heart rate, followed by a sauna, and a final cold plunge.
Still waiting on the van to sell. Had one call thus far, but they never called back. They'd planned to see another van the day before arranging to visit me. But I know it will sell in time. In the mean time, consolidating my debts will free up more money, and should reduce money worries in the next couple of months.
Discovered some wonderful new music of late. Trying my hardest to avoid impulsive spending. That's been a lifelong battle, and it's not getting any easier. I can talk myself out of a purchase; could end up saying "no" 50-100 times. But eventually I end up going through with it. Tricky.
I'm glad there's been lot's of positive changes of late. Although I'm still very much aware of how much of myself I've put into certain people. And how unintentionally I'm getting hurt time and again. Mind you, had I listened to my gut, I'd never have gone to many of the places I had in life.
My intuition is growing. I just need to continue to listen to it, and follow the path my gut knows is right for me.
Ed
From the Medicine Cards I got 43 (my lucky number) and the animal was a spider. What it spoke of was interesting, especially with my past. It spoke of being wary of what you trap within your web, and what is kept close to you. Such as negativity, unhelpful feelings, draining people etc. The message was to spin a new web, and attract and hold onto that which is positive to me - along with pursuing creativity; something I've been doing a lot of recently.
The other card from a different tarot was 37 - Time Out. Again, calling out where I'm currently at in needing time for myself. I'd distanced myself from numerous people recently. Keeping an eye on my mood and tolerances and socialising on my terms. I know there needs to be much more focus on what lies within me, rather than seeking validation through others. Also tackling the chronic lonliness, that crops up now and again. Whilst it's improved considerably since the spiritual awakening, it can still hit home now and then.
Last Thursday during the platform medium's session. When she spoke to me her mood was different to everyone else she'd spoken to. She gave me a reading and became quite overwhelmed by the strength of the energy. She thanked me for the healing and work I've done thus far. She had a message from my great grandfather, along with advice to stop taking heed of everyone else's advice. Learning to say "no" has felt empowering, and time and again I've encountered people's suggestions which clash with my own. Politeness remains, but I do tire of encountering so many suggestions that instantly make me feel tense within. I'm going my own way, and it's nice the medium echoed that sentiment. I felt a nice connection from her, so after she'd finished I approached her and asked for a 1-to-1 session which will be happening this Wednesday. It'll be nice as my mentor is on holiday that day, so there's no medium training until the following Wednesday.
My job is going very well. I've had many wonderful experiences, laughter, interesting moments, and unique challenges which I've handled calmly, and it's helping me grow in strength.
Outside of work, I met someone special a few weeks ago (nope, not dating again) - a lovely encounter, and they became very tearful with happiness and sorrow at the end, thanking me for being a support worker, as their 2 children with special needs wouldn't be where they are today without people such as myself. She also did a tarot reading for me; another apt reading for where I was in life, and where I'm heading. Trauma bonding is interesting, but I know I've gone through what I have to provide healing to others, and I knew the moment I met her that she'd suffered a lot in life.
They wanted to stay in contact, and I fear things have gone off the rails for them once again. But I'm keeping my distance at the moment, they're working hard on where they need to get to in life, and battling addictions along the way. I'm sure we'll eventually meet again; but I'm also wary of what I can and cannot afford to do right now to help other people. I lose myself too easily in others, and their emotions and struggles become mine. So I'm putting up healthy boundaries. With putting a lot of myself and energies into helping service users I work with, I'm ensuring my free time is best spent pursuing that which will help, rather than hinder me and my energies.
Starting the gym in 10 days. Eating healthy is going well, and once paired with exercise; I think I'll get back to where I wanted to be, and then go above and beyond into new territories. The membership will include the gym, sauna and swimming pool. Mon/Wed/Fri - an hour in the gym, then swimming to help wind down the muscles and heart rate, followed by a sauna, and a final cold plunge.
Still waiting on the van to sell. Had one call thus far, but they never called back. They'd planned to see another van the day before arranging to visit me. But I know it will sell in time. In the mean time, consolidating my debts will free up more money, and should reduce money worries in the next couple of months.
Discovered some wonderful new music of late. Trying my hardest to avoid impulsive spending. That's been a lifelong battle, and it's not getting any easier. I can talk myself out of a purchase; could end up saying "no" 50-100 times. But eventually I end up going through with it. Tricky.
I'm glad there's been lot's of positive changes of late. Although I'm still very much aware of how much of myself I've put into certain people. And how unintentionally I'm getting hurt time and again. Mind you, had I listened to my gut, I'd never have gone to many of the places I had in life.
My intuition is growing. I just need to continue to listen to it, and follow the path my gut knows is right for me.
Ed
