Lately i have been having worries about marriage because it is a big thing where i live. Both culturally and religion wise it is recommended to marry. My family thankfully does not pressure me about this but my friend who comes from a traditional family does. And i have worries about getting old and sick when my parents pass away.
Being autistic and having anxiety and ocd i have many worries about this. I started to feel like a bad person because of this like i am not religious enough
Since i cannot tell my friend about my ocd/autism/anxiety i bottle it all up. I researched on the İnternet a bit and there is not much resource on autistic people's marriage from a religious perspective. But i have read a lot of posts from people who unknowingly married an autistic person and became like a caretaker for them. This is very scary and upsetting for me. Since this is what happened with my father and mother as well.
I have lots of worries that i cannot tell anyone about and once someone tells me why did you not marry/ have a relationship i became so upset and angry. Because i am forced to endure all these feelings and keep silent. And my worries get bigger.
I don't want a marriage like my parents. I have a good relationship with them now but it was not always so. Only i know what i went through and i will never ever want a child like me to Come into this world. To think that child would blame me for giving birth to the, like i blamed my parents so long ago is horrifying.
I want to scream all this to the people's faces when they talk to me about marriage. You dont live in my world and you will never understand
Being autistic and having anxiety and ocd i have many worries about this. I started to feel like a bad person because of this like i am not religious enough
Since i cannot tell my friend about my ocd/autism/anxiety i bottle it all up. I researched on the İnternet a bit and there is not much resource on autistic people's marriage from a religious perspective. But i have read a lot of posts from people who unknowingly married an autistic person and became like a caretaker for them. This is very scary and upsetting for me. Since this is what happened with my father and mother as well.
I have lots of worries that i cannot tell anyone about and once someone tells me why did you not marry/ have a relationship i became so upset and angry. Because i am forced to endure all these feelings and keep silent. And my worries get bigger.
I don't want a marriage like my parents. I have a good relationship with them now but it was not always so. Only i know what i went through and i will never ever want a child like me to Come into this world. To think that child would blame me for giving birth to the, like i blamed my parents so long ago is horrifying.
I want to scream all this to the people's faces when they talk to me about marriage. You dont live in my world and you will never understand
