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13/08/2012
"It may be the Asperger's talking
But if this specially unaware ***** elbows me one more time, I'm gonna ****ing elbow her is her massive natty ****in haired head until her nose ****ing collapses into her face!
****s sake!
THANK ****! She just got off the train.
Seriously, who needs to be that all over the place to keep banging into people, ergh.
Dew-Scented probably aren't helping my mood (which is pretty much very stressed & annoyed beyond belief). Shall I change it to First Blood in honour of them playing tomorrow... At the gig I'll probs not be able to go to :-( I could do with seeing a batteringly evil Hardcore band destroy the stage & people ****ing killing each other.
Ergh, today was a ****** day. Its weird how it gets busy at random times, just wish it where more consistent.
Whoops, forgot to post this hours ago. Damn it!"
14/08/2012
Looks like my contract with Transport For London has been extended until the end of December
YAY! Really happy about that, some good news at last! I just need to keep worknig hard and keep my head down.
I'm so happy that with all my health issues have not effected any decisions to my employment
Did anyone see the the BBC4 programmes last night called Growing Children : Autism. Was really good, the lady doing the presenting was really cool and was trying hard to understand the way Autistic /Asperger's people see things. Here is the link to the BBC iPlayer. It's well worth a watch, even for those who don't suffer from anything on the Autistic spectrum. "
14/08/2012
"Tonight wasn't so bad.. (well last night)
I did see & had to avoid two people I used to really get on with & (at least with one of them) it just ****ing hurt to not be able to go up & say hello. I hate having to avoid anyone, I hate bad feeling with anyone too and having two people I used to talk to quite a bit (one more than the other) around and have to avoid them and not go up to people I know and have to stand there on my own like bill no ****ing mates while they get to act normal :-(
I miss Toby so much, he is such an amazing guy & he really touched me and my life & it hurts so much to not be able to talk to him or even say hi & ask how he is. Even if things get cleared up (which I can't ever see ****ing happening) I don't think I could let myself take the ****ing risk & being rejected again, I really don't think I could take the heartache again, it hurt enough first time round to know I hurt them that bad & it was no one else's fault but my own."
I'm already at the point where I'm damning having AS and resenting the way it makes me feel, the things I feel I need to do & the way I act."
13/08/2012
"It may be the Asperger's talking
But if this specially unaware ***** elbows me one more time, I'm gonna ****ing elbow her is her massive natty ****in haired head until her nose ****ing collapses into her face!
****s sake!
THANK ****! She just got off the train.
Seriously, who needs to be that all over the place to keep banging into people, ergh.
Dew-Scented probably aren't helping my mood (which is pretty much very stressed & annoyed beyond belief). Shall I change it to First Blood in honour of them playing tomorrow... At the gig I'll probs not be able to go to :-( I could do with seeing a batteringly evil Hardcore band destroy the stage & people ****ing killing each other.
Ergh, today was a ****** day. Its weird how it gets busy at random times, just wish it where more consistent.
Whoops, forgot to post this hours ago. Damn it!"
14/08/2012
Looks like my contract with Transport For London has been extended until the end of December
YAY! Really happy about that, some good news at last! I just need to keep worknig hard and keep my head down. I'm so happy that with all my health issues have not effected any decisions to my employment
Did anyone see the the BBC4 programmes last night called Growing Children : Autism. Was really good, the lady doing the presenting was really cool and was trying hard to understand the way Autistic /Asperger's people see things. Here is the link to the BBC iPlayer. It's well worth a watch, even for those who don't suffer from anything on the Autistic spectrum. "
14/08/2012
"Tonight wasn't so bad.. (well last night)
I did see & had to avoid two people I used to really get on with & (at least with one of them) it just ****ing hurt to not be able to go up & say hello. I hate having to avoid anyone, I hate bad feeling with anyone too and having two people I used to talk to quite a bit (one more than the other) around and have to avoid them and not go up to people I know and have to stand there on my own like bill no ****ing mates while they get to act normal :-(
I miss Toby so much, he is such an amazing guy & he really touched me and my life & it hurts so much to not be able to talk to him or even say hi & ask how he is. Even if things get cleared up (which I can't ever see ****ing happening) I don't think I could let myself take the ****ing risk & being rejected again, I really don't think I could take the heartache again, it hurt enough first time round to know I hurt them that bad & it was no one else's fault but my own."
I'm already at the point where I'm damning having AS and resenting the way it makes me feel, the things I feel I need to do & the way I act."
