Yesterday, I went to an Asperger's group that I found on Meetup.com. I had been a member of the group for a couple of months now and finally worked up the courage to go.
I was very disappointed. 7 people, other than the counselor, showed up. Two were the mothers of some AS young men (19 and 20), who were also there. I was the only AS woman. The two moms dominated the conversation with their concerns about raising their sons (such as being perplexed as to why they didn't want to go to their HS prom), comparing the high schools (they lived close to each other), and making plans with each other to get together outside of the meeting (dinner at the restaurant next door). I was a little disgruntled because, from what I've been able to see in my area, there are tons more support groups for the family of AS people than there are for the AS people themselves (I've only been able to find 1 other one, but it requires a doctor's diagnosis to be able to attend, which I don't have). So I felt a little resentful that they were diverting the meeting to their own issues that were irrelevant to anyone else there. Plus, their discussion was very boring and I was very uncomfortable being in the room with so many strangers.
During a lull, the counselor tried to ask me about myself, but I froze up. I couldn't answer, but she kept asking. The moms joined in and started asking me stuff too, but my mind was completely blank. I had trouble focusing on what they were even asking me, let alone finding an answer. The only question I remember is "what do you do for a living?" and I didn't even know! Seriously, I've been doing it every day for years, but for those several moments, I couldn't remember what I do or even what my job title is. When I tried to talk, all that came out was a bunch of stuttering, and I had no idea what i was even trying to say. It was completely mortifying. Luckily, they stopped prodding me after a couple of minutes, which felt like an eternity, and left me alone after that. When the attention was finally off of me and I unfroze, I was very skittish and had to stop myself from running out the door. Maybe it was karma for all the uncharitable thoughts I had about them "ruining" the meeting. Needless to say, I will probably not be going back. I am still having flashbacks.
On the plus side, that experience is what led me to try to find an alternative, which is how I found this site. I'm very happy with what i have seen so far and I think this format will be a much better fit for me than in-person meetings.
I was very disappointed. 7 people, other than the counselor, showed up. Two were the mothers of some AS young men (19 and 20), who were also there. I was the only AS woman. The two moms dominated the conversation with their concerns about raising their sons (such as being perplexed as to why they didn't want to go to their HS prom), comparing the high schools (they lived close to each other), and making plans with each other to get together outside of the meeting (dinner at the restaurant next door). I was a little disgruntled because, from what I've been able to see in my area, there are tons more support groups for the family of AS people than there are for the AS people themselves (I've only been able to find 1 other one, but it requires a doctor's diagnosis to be able to attend, which I don't have). So I felt a little resentful that they were diverting the meeting to their own issues that were irrelevant to anyone else there. Plus, their discussion was very boring and I was very uncomfortable being in the room with so many strangers.
During a lull, the counselor tried to ask me about myself, but I froze up. I couldn't answer, but she kept asking. The moms joined in and started asking me stuff too, but my mind was completely blank. I had trouble focusing on what they were even asking me, let alone finding an answer. The only question I remember is "what do you do for a living?" and I didn't even know! Seriously, I've been doing it every day for years, but for those several moments, I couldn't remember what I do or even what my job title is. When I tried to talk, all that came out was a bunch of stuttering, and I had no idea what i was even trying to say. It was completely mortifying. Luckily, they stopped prodding me after a couple of minutes, which felt like an eternity, and left me alone after that. When the attention was finally off of me and I unfroze, I was very skittish and had to stop myself from running out the door. Maybe it was karma for all the uncharitable thoughts I had about them "ruining" the meeting. Needless to say, I will probably not be going back. I am still having flashbacks.
On the plus side, that experience is what led me to try to find an alternative, which is how I found this site. I'm very happy with what i have seen so far and I think this format will be a much better fit for me than in-person meetings.
