I want to type up a little bit of my story. I am actually working on trying to write a book but haven?t gotten very far with it yet.
When I was in elementary school my mom knew something was wrong because I wasn?t learning what I needed to in school and they wouldn?t test me to try to figure out what it was. I switched schools when I was going into 3rd grade and the first day of class, my mom brought me in and told my principal and teachers what was going on. They immediately tested me and diagnosed me as having a learning disability. It was not an Asperger?s diagnosis as, at that time, it was believed it was a male only syndrome. Now they are finding out differently.
It wasn?t until I had my first Tonic-clonic (Grand Mal) seizure that we found out one reason why I wasn?t able to learn things in school. It turned out that I was also having Absence (Petit Mal) seizures all through the day making it pretty much impossible for me to retain the information that I heard but didn?t hear at the same time. Absence seizures are brief episodes of staring. Usually lasts less than 10 seconds, but it can be as long as 20. During the seizure, awareness and responsiveness are impaired. People who have them usually don?t realize when they?ve had one. There is no warning before a seizure, and the person is completely alert immediately afterward. The Tonic-clonic seizure is what most people think of when they hear the word ?seizure.? An older term for them is ?grand mal.? As implied by the name, they combine the characteristics of tonic seizures and clonic seizures. The tonic phase comes first: All the muscles stiffen. Generally, it lasts 1 to 3 minutes. A tonic-clonic seizure that lasts longer than 5 minutes probably calls for medical help. I am so glad that I ended up outgrowing this at age 14. I had 3 Grand Mal seizures and there is no telling how many Petit Mal seizures. After I outgrew it, my mom did research and found that many females who have seizures, have them for a short time before they start their menstrual cycle for the first time and then never have them again. Even after I stopped having, I still never caught up to where my peers were in school. I graduated in the special education program. I graduated with a special diploma.
I still wanted to make it to college because I wanted to do better then my dad. He dropped out of 9th grade. I wanted to push myself to further my education. I found out that before I could not take normal college classes until I got my GED. I feared that my math skills were too bad to ever be able to pass that section and in turn get my GED. I started off by going to free GED classes at my community college. It was while I was sitting in those classes that I found out about the plane crashing into the first twin tower up in NYC. Our instructor let us go home early that day. We pulled my brother out of high school and went home to be together. I don?t remember why but I stopped going to the free GED classes and procrastinated for a while. During the time I was procrastinating, was my heavy gaming years. There were times I stayed up till 7 O?Clock in the morning gaming without my mom knowing about it. Finally a few years later I passed the test the first time! I believe It was 2006 when I finally started college classes. I had to first take a ton of PREP classes because of how I scored on their test. If I had not slacked off a little towards of the end of the time I was in college I would have graduated with a 4.0. So much fell apart that year that I had a hard time concentrating on my schoolwork and homework as well as trying to find another job. I did graduate as a part of an invite only honor society. The only one in my class to do that. The last math class that I took, I was helping other students for the first time in my life!
Somewhere in the time frame of the last 10 years, my little cousin was diagnosed with Asperger?s. My mom and Aunt both are in the medical field and started talking about me after my cousin was diagnosed. They were comparing how each of us handles things and found a lot of similarities. They both decided that I was probably also on the Autism Spectrum. Autism presents itself very differently in males and females. Males usually act out and so they are a behavior problem so they get tested much sooner. Females on the other hand usually blend into the background. Quietly observing from the outside looking in. Most females, unless they are lower functioning, don?t get diagnosed at all or their daughters have to get diagnosed first before they look to the parents. Autism is a spectrum because there are many different levels of functionality and so you have some that are low on the spectrum and some that are very high on the spectrum and can live an almost completely normal life.
Asperger?s syndrome is a difference in thinking. It is not something that can be cured. It is a difference in the way our brains are wired. No two people are the same. There could be other things mixed in making an accurate diagnosis harder, especially in women! I have talked to and read about many women who were on the Autism spectrum that were misdiagnosed their whole lives before the doctors ever came to the conclusion that they were on the spectrum. Most people on the spectrum are still very naive and vulnerable to manipulation and bullying their whole lives. We weren?t born with the automatic instincts that Neurotypical people have. If you are not on the spectrum, you are ?Neurotypical.?
I did not become interested in finding out what it meant to me, in my life, to be on the Autism Spectrum until early last year (2012). I finally decided to read as much as I could about Autism Spectrum Disorders and Asperger?s Syndrome. The more I read, the more I felt like these books were talking about me. I didn?t speak until I was 3 years old. Most kids speak long before that. Once I did start to speak, I would only say 2 word combinations. Example: ?Mommy, Drink.? The first book that I read that completely related to me was called ?Aspergirls.? I felt like this was the answer that I had been searching for my entire life without even realizing I was searching for an answer. I had always wondered why I always felt different from all of my peers. I had always wondered why I couldn?t relate to or talk to my peers.
After reading so much about Asperger?s, I decided to see if there were any support groups or forums for people on the spectrum. I found the best Aspie family anyone on the spectrum could ever ask for. It was there that I also found my wonderful boyfriend who helped me overcome so many things from my past. I hope that I can be able to finish writing my book with a happy ending but until then, I will just write things up here in order to compile my thoughts into one place.
When I was in elementary school my mom knew something was wrong because I wasn?t learning what I needed to in school and they wouldn?t test me to try to figure out what it was. I switched schools when I was going into 3rd grade and the first day of class, my mom brought me in and told my principal and teachers what was going on. They immediately tested me and diagnosed me as having a learning disability. It was not an Asperger?s diagnosis as, at that time, it was believed it was a male only syndrome. Now they are finding out differently.
It wasn?t until I had my first Tonic-clonic (Grand Mal) seizure that we found out one reason why I wasn?t able to learn things in school. It turned out that I was also having Absence (Petit Mal) seizures all through the day making it pretty much impossible for me to retain the information that I heard but didn?t hear at the same time. Absence seizures are brief episodes of staring. Usually lasts less than 10 seconds, but it can be as long as 20. During the seizure, awareness and responsiveness are impaired. People who have them usually don?t realize when they?ve had one. There is no warning before a seizure, and the person is completely alert immediately afterward. The Tonic-clonic seizure is what most people think of when they hear the word ?seizure.? An older term for them is ?grand mal.? As implied by the name, they combine the characteristics of tonic seizures and clonic seizures. The tonic phase comes first: All the muscles stiffen. Generally, it lasts 1 to 3 minutes. A tonic-clonic seizure that lasts longer than 5 minutes probably calls for medical help. I am so glad that I ended up outgrowing this at age 14. I had 3 Grand Mal seizures and there is no telling how many Petit Mal seizures. After I outgrew it, my mom did research and found that many females who have seizures, have them for a short time before they start their menstrual cycle for the first time and then never have them again. Even after I stopped having, I still never caught up to where my peers were in school. I graduated in the special education program. I graduated with a special diploma.
I still wanted to make it to college because I wanted to do better then my dad. He dropped out of 9th grade. I wanted to push myself to further my education. I found out that before I could not take normal college classes until I got my GED. I feared that my math skills were too bad to ever be able to pass that section and in turn get my GED. I started off by going to free GED classes at my community college. It was while I was sitting in those classes that I found out about the plane crashing into the first twin tower up in NYC. Our instructor let us go home early that day. We pulled my brother out of high school and went home to be together. I don?t remember why but I stopped going to the free GED classes and procrastinated for a while. During the time I was procrastinating, was my heavy gaming years. There were times I stayed up till 7 O?Clock in the morning gaming without my mom knowing about it. Finally a few years later I passed the test the first time! I believe It was 2006 when I finally started college classes. I had to first take a ton of PREP classes because of how I scored on their test. If I had not slacked off a little towards of the end of the time I was in college I would have graduated with a 4.0. So much fell apart that year that I had a hard time concentrating on my schoolwork and homework as well as trying to find another job. I did graduate as a part of an invite only honor society. The only one in my class to do that. The last math class that I took, I was helping other students for the first time in my life!
Somewhere in the time frame of the last 10 years, my little cousin was diagnosed with Asperger?s. My mom and Aunt both are in the medical field and started talking about me after my cousin was diagnosed. They were comparing how each of us handles things and found a lot of similarities. They both decided that I was probably also on the Autism Spectrum. Autism presents itself very differently in males and females. Males usually act out and so they are a behavior problem so they get tested much sooner. Females on the other hand usually blend into the background. Quietly observing from the outside looking in. Most females, unless they are lower functioning, don?t get diagnosed at all or their daughters have to get diagnosed first before they look to the parents. Autism is a spectrum because there are many different levels of functionality and so you have some that are low on the spectrum and some that are very high on the spectrum and can live an almost completely normal life.
Asperger?s syndrome is a difference in thinking. It is not something that can be cured. It is a difference in the way our brains are wired. No two people are the same. There could be other things mixed in making an accurate diagnosis harder, especially in women! I have talked to and read about many women who were on the Autism spectrum that were misdiagnosed their whole lives before the doctors ever came to the conclusion that they were on the spectrum. Most people on the spectrum are still very naive and vulnerable to manipulation and bullying their whole lives. We weren?t born with the automatic instincts that Neurotypical people have. If you are not on the spectrum, you are ?Neurotypical.?
I did not become interested in finding out what it meant to me, in my life, to be on the Autism Spectrum until early last year (2012). I finally decided to read as much as I could about Autism Spectrum Disorders and Asperger?s Syndrome. The more I read, the more I felt like these books were talking about me. I didn?t speak until I was 3 years old. Most kids speak long before that. Once I did start to speak, I would only say 2 word combinations. Example: ?Mommy, Drink.? The first book that I read that completely related to me was called ?Aspergirls.? I felt like this was the answer that I had been searching for my entire life without even realizing I was searching for an answer. I had always wondered why I always felt different from all of my peers. I had always wondered why I couldn?t relate to or talk to my peers.
After reading so much about Asperger?s, I decided to see if there were any support groups or forums for people on the spectrum. I found the best Aspie family anyone on the spectrum could ever ask for. It was there that I also found my wonderful boyfriend who helped me overcome so many things from my past. I hope that I can be able to finish writing my book with a happy ending but until then, I will just write things up here in order to compile my thoughts into one place.
