Yesterday, while I was waiting in the hallway for my class to begin, I caught the tail end of a lecture on, of all things, how to put on a condom. That's right. The instructor had a little wooden penis which she used to demonstrate the right and the wrong way to put one on. She also went into details on how to buy and store them. Then the class ended and the students started pouring out. "Excuse me," said the fellow next to me who had also been listening, "what is the name of this class?" "Sociology 202," said a young woman, "Marriage and family life."
You know, I am almost ashamed to admit it, but I will, because I know I am not the only one. I am nearly 60 years old and know almost nothing about birth control except that it is available and where to get it. I have to say that this is partially my own doing, because I've had other priorities in my life, like getting a decent job, trying to get an education and of course trying to support myself. So learning how to use a condom, since I am not sexually active, isn't very high on the list. (Figuring out Windows 8 is a bit higher). Still, it was very interesting information.
But the other reason is that I spent pretty much the first half of my life in a conservative religious cocoon, both Catholic and Protestant, and I really tried to live up to what that life demanded. I defended my faith and its teachings on sex and got ridiculed for it. Which was ok, because, hey, the Bible said that would happen and to rejoice when it did. I really, really tried. I did not want to break with that life, I was not ready to examine that life.
But over the years I started noticing some things. I was involved in the early days of the abstinence movement and I started noticing that they weren't providing any education beyond just say no. The same was true of the religious circles I was in. It was almost like a conspiracy of silence. One older woman, who was one of the leaders of the local abstinence group, told me, "Oh, I think men get more enjoyment out of sex than women." Of course she was a product of a Catholic education that basically said that the only reason to have sex was to have babies. No wonder Mary is so highly honored. She lucked out, she was able to have a child without having to go through the nasty messy business all other women faced.
I just don't get this emphasis on ignorance. It is not that I think abstinence is wrong or that it can't be a valid choice, it is the culture of ignorance that comes with it that I have a problem with. For me to get the education I should have had meant in a real sense "going over to the enemy." I was not ready to do that. Remember this was the 1980's and the culture wars were in full swing.
Basically, because I bought in to what my church was saying, there is much I don't know about the facts of life. And these days, that kind of ignorance can be deadly. It is one of the reasons that I am no longer a Christian. The lies, the half-truths and the silence were all done in the name of the Lord. And it is still going on. I still, at nearly 60, have not had that "talk", not with my mother, not with my religious leaders, not with anyone. What I have learned I have picked up piecemeal, from outside sources.
That is why the Unitarian church is such a breath of fresh air, because Unitarian-Universalists are not squeamish about talking about these things. Part of their Sunday School involves a comprehensive sexuality education program called Our Whole Lives.
You know, I am almost ashamed to admit it, but I will, because I know I am not the only one. I am nearly 60 years old and know almost nothing about birth control except that it is available and where to get it. I have to say that this is partially my own doing, because I've had other priorities in my life, like getting a decent job, trying to get an education and of course trying to support myself. So learning how to use a condom, since I am not sexually active, isn't very high on the list. (Figuring out Windows 8 is a bit higher). Still, it was very interesting information.
But the other reason is that I spent pretty much the first half of my life in a conservative religious cocoon, both Catholic and Protestant, and I really tried to live up to what that life demanded. I defended my faith and its teachings on sex and got ridiculed for it. Which was ok, because, hey, the Bible said that would happen and to rejoice when it did. I really, really tried. I did not want to break with that life, I was not ready to examine that life.
But over the years I started noticing some things. I was involved in the early days of the abstinence movement and I started noticing that they weren't providing any education beyond just say no. The same was true of the religious circles I was in. It was almost like a conspiracy of silence. One older woman, who was one of the leaders of the local abstinence group, told me, "Oh, I think men get more enjoyment out of sex than women." Of course she was a product of a Catholic education that basically said that the only reason to have sex was to have babies. No wonder Mary is so highly honored. She lucked out, she was able to have a child without having to go through the nasty messy business all other women faced.
I just don't get this emphasis on ignorance. It is not that I think abstinence is wrong or that it can't be a valid choice, it is the culture of ignorance that comes with it that I have a problem with. For me to get the education I should have had meant in a real sense "going over to the enemy." I was not ready to do that. Remember this was the 1980's and the culture wars were in full swing.
Basically, because I bought in to what my church was saying, there is much I don't know about the facts of life. And these days, that kind of ignorance can be deadly. It is one of the reasons that I am no longer a Christian. The lies, the half-truths and the silence were all done in the name of the Lord. And it is still going on. I still, at nearly 60, have not had that "talk", not with my mother, not with my religious leaders, not with anyone. What I have learned I have picked up piecemeal, from outside sources.
That is why the Unitarian church is such a breath of fresh air, because Unitarian-Universalists are not squeamish about talking about these things. Part of their Sunday School involves a comprehensive sexuality education program called Our Whole Lives.
