It seems I can’t even attend a party without discussing autism… but I guess for good reason and food for thought.
Last week I was at a party. An aspie friend of mine recently moved out from his parents’ house and decided to rent a place with his girlfriend. So at some point I suppose there’s this “housewarming” coming. That obviously was last night.
Anyway, it wasn't awfully crowded and I had an overall good time. Had a chat with some other people that came over though I didn't know them at all, but I suppose that’s what people do to kill time and enjoy themselves at a party, heh.
I was talking some guy and at some point small talk came up and that burning question came up; “what do you do?”
Without spilling too much about my own situation I told him I’m on welfare and just hinted at “disability”. Which subsequently ended up in a conversation between him and me about disability, since he apparently knew pretty much what I was going on about as he pursued a diagnosis at some point as well. Yet he was just barely mild enough to not get documentation. His girlfriend, who was around as well, same boat actually.
My friend however is on the spectrum, and apparently his girlfriend told me she’s a relatively mild PDD-NOS case. And his cousin was there and apparently live close at my place so I had a chat with him while walking home. Same discussion came up about welfare and his “issues” to maintain a job. So he opened up about diagnosed personality disorders of his.
Lastly, there was another girl there and my aspie radar kinda went off. I refrained from going up to her and asking, but I surely had a hunch.
Now, it’s all interesting to note that we pretty much had a party with folks that are either on or barely off any spectrum in terms of disability. But basically, what I’m saying “I feel there’s significant increase in confirmed ánd invisible cases of people who are unable to function and do what is expected of them on a daily basis”.
So, anyway… my friend at some point during the evening came up to me and handed me a letter, which was his most recent report from the psych office and just asked me “care to read this?”. I looked it over and it made me realize something quite interesting.
As a friend, and thus a 3rd party to his personal issues it gives me a different perspective of his situation since I’m not living his life, but I clearly pick up a few things here and there.
What I found funny about it all is that while I can get along fine with him, his issues, and all, the way his issues are written down, they don’t seem that severe. And perhaps he’s one in so many, just like people on this forum, who have issues to deal with due to their autism and they’re not necessarily big issues per se.
They become big issues the moment society gets involved. I mean, why should it matter I don’t like to make eye contact? It’s not that I will die a horrible death for not looking at someone (in fact, in ancient Greece avoiding eye contact might keep you from being petrified but alas). It’s when society puts a standard and a certain benchmark on what “correct” behavior should be, for no other reason than most likely exercise power and make people walk in line.
The more and more I talk with social services, social workers and the like, it makes me realize that it has little to do with accepting anymore. They (the employers) don’t want to have it any other way. It’s becoming into a struggle to make potential employees comply for no other reason than most likely someone in management getting off on his power trip. And when jobs are in short supply (or at least that’s what they make us believe) “some” people will go great lengths in this modern “survival of the fittest”.
So back to issues and less about employment before my desk chair transforms into a soapbox; the more I look into issues of myself and those of others, there’s only so much you can change and maybe should because it’s detrimental to your functioning in its foundation. There’s a lot that shouldn't really matter at all and that doesn't need fixing. Unless someone decides it would be fancier if people would also do this or that…
For some bonus points; here’s something else worth addressing. In the past X years everyone was ranting and raving how more people ended up on the spectrum and how there are more people on the spectrum than ever before (well, of course… why else would it be worth pointing out).
Yet, and this is why I’m addressing this in relation to the file of my friend. A lot of his issues in its bare essence don’t seem severe (and neither do mine) but apparently they seem severe enough to prevent him, me and some on this forum from any form of practical application when it comes to employment. And honestly, most people I know actually pursue a diagnosis, not to put on their wall, but because they would like to receive support to maneuver through daily life in the short and long run, which makes me wonder if the demands for any gainful employment aren’t becoming so absurd overall (and perhaps this survival of the fittest, along with overpopulation play a role) that makes it increasingly hard for some people to keep at it… and again, while in bare essence they’re not “broken” at all.
Mind you, broken to be taken with a grain of salt. We know we’re not broken… we just need to convince the rest of this planet.
Last week I was at a party. An aspie friend of mine recently moved out from his parents’ house and decided to rent a place with his girlfriend. So at some point I suppose there’s this “housewarming” coming. That obviously was last night.
Anyway, it wasn't awfully crowded and I had an overall good time. Had a chat with some other people that came over though I didn't know them at all, but I suppose that’s what people do to kill time and enjoy themselves at a party, heh.
I was talking some guy and at some point small talk came up and that burning question came up; “what do you do?”
Without spilling too much about my own situation I told him I’m on welfare and just hinted at “disability”. Which subsequently ended up in a conversation between him and me about disability, since he apparently knew pretty much what I was going on about as he pursued a diagnosis at some point as well. Yet he was just barely mild enough to not get documentation. His girlfriend, who was around as well, same boat actually.
My friend however is on the spectrum, and apparently his girlfriend told me she’s a relatively mild PDD-NOS case. And his cousin was there and apparently live close at my place so I had a chat with him while walking home. Same discussion came up about welfare and his “issues” to maintain a job. So he opened up about diagnosed personality disorders of his.
Lastly, there was another girl there and my aspie radar kinda went off. I refrained from going up to her and asking, but I surely had a hunch.
Now, it’s all interesting to note that we pretty much had a party with folks that are either on or barely off any spectrum in terms of disability. But basically, what I’m saying “I feel there’s significant increase in confirmed ánd invisible cases of people who are unable to function and do what is expected of them on a daily basis”.
So, anyway… my friend at some point during the evening came up to me and handed me a letter, which was his most recent report from the psych office and just asked me “care to read this?”. I looked it over and it made me realize something quite interesting.
As a friend, and thus a 3rd party to his personal issues it gives me a different perspective of his situation since I’m not living his life, but I clearly pick up a few things here and there.
What I found funny about it all is that while I can get along fine with him, his issues, and all, the way his issues are written down, they don’t seem that severe. And perhaps he’s one in so many, just like people on this forum, who have issues to deal with due to their autism and they’re not necessarily big issues per se.
They become big issues the moment society gets involved. I mean, why should it matter I don’t like to make eye contact? It’s not that I will die a horrible death for not looking at someone (in fact, in ancient Greece avoiding eye contact might keep you from being petrified but alas). It’s when society puts a standard and a certain benchmark on what “correct” behavior should be, for no other reason than most likely exercise power and make people walk in line.
The more and more I talk with social services, social workers and the like, it makes me realize that it has little to do with accepting anymore. They (the employers) don’t want to have it any other way. It’s becoming into a struggle to make potential employees comply for no other reason than most likely someone in management getting off on his power trip. And when jobs are in short supply (or at least that’s what they make us believe) “some” people will go great lengths in this modern “survival of the fittest”.
So back to issues and less about employment before my desk chair transforms into a soapbox; the more I look into issues of myself and those of others, there’s only so much you can change and maybe should because it’s detrimental to your functioning in its foundation. There’s a lot that shouldn't really matter at all and that doesn't need fixing. Unless someone decides it would be fancier if people would also do this or that…
For some bonus points; here’s something else worth addressing. In the past X years everyone was ranting and raving how more people ended up on the spectrum and how there are more people on the spectrum than ever before (well, of course… why else would it be worth pointing out).
Yet, and this is why I’m addressing this in relation to the file of my friend. A lot of his issues in its bare essence don’t seem severe (and neither do mine) but apparently they seem severe enough to prevent him, me and some on this forum from any form of practical application when it comes to employment. And honestly, most people I know actually pursue a diagnosis, not to put on their wall, but because they would like to receive support to maneuver through daily life in the short and long run, which makes me wonder if the demands for any gainful employment aren’t becoming so absurd overall (and perhaps this survival of the fittest, along with overpopulation play a role) that makes it increasingly hard for some people to keep at it… and again, while in bare essence they’re not “broken” at all.
Mind you, broken to be taken with a grain of salt. We know we’re not broken… we just need to convince the rest of this planet.
