I never understood weight issues until I gained weight and, for the first time in my life, fell into a healthy weight range. At least according to lots of google searching for height/weight/age/gender charts. I was born very premature. I was underweight for most of my life and probably would have bene naturally skinny had I not had - and still have - such severe food texture issues. I was just under 5ft tall weighing 85lbs for most of my teenage life, when I paid attention anyways. It wasn't until these past few years I've connected the dots - if you are cold often and fatigued easily, perhaps you are underweight. The charts only confirmed it. So I decided to gain a few pounds, with my goal being to not be able to see my ribs anymore. I didn't have a set goal in mind, I just wanted to be at a point I feel healthy.
Now, i'm a 110lb 5ft tall 20-something and although the charts say i'm healthy, I feel like i'm overweight. My mom has a lower BMI ratio than me which bothers me cause she is always talking about how she doesn't want to get fat and substitutes 2/3 meals a day w/ protein shakes to that end. She's borderline eating disorder though, has been for years. I just never realized how much my mom's talk and society in general can affect you. But this isn't about society, even if my coworkers affect me. One of my supervisors, as nice as he is, has been going around wearing a sweater in place of a regular polo and I could never do that. I'd be hot and sweating in minutes of walking around working. But just acknowledging that makes me feel like i'm overweight, because as much as my parents insisted I needed to gain weight growing up I feel like having any body fat is a bad thing. My mom certainly thinks so w/ her own body.
I keep bouncing back and forth between staying as I am or trying to diet. Granted it would present more like anorexia but whatever. Its all I know how to do. At least if I went ana i'd try to do it right - eat healthy food, not eat those damn meal bars and protein shakes I see my mom and loads of people buying at the store. My teeth are also a motivating factor - I want to cut my soda intake. I've noticed it bothers my crowns. I really should go to the dentist but I really don't want to. I'd never hear the end of it from my parents. So i'm just going to use a straw w/ soda and try to limit it to 1 or 2 a day. When I drink water, I actually prefer it. I think if I learned to cook a little, eating healthy be it for ana diet or not would not be a bad thing. For now i'll probably just eat only leftovers for meals and go through the drinks I bought then i'll figure it out. We've got leftover spaghetti in the fridge as well as chili. Toss out most of the stockpile of food I have. I've got the stuff to make scrambled egg burritos, i'm gonna try putting rotel in it and see if its good. It would add a little veggies at any rate. And they're low calorie. Not gonna lie if I could get down to 85-90lbs like I was growing up I would be happy. Its not like I've grown since then.
Now, i'm a 110lb 5ft tall 20-something and although the charts say i'm healthy, I feel like i'm overweight. My mom has a lower BMI ratio than me which bothers me cause she is always talking about how she doesn't want to get fat and substitutes 2/3 meals a day w/ protein shakes to that end. She's borderline eating disorder though, has been for years. I just never realized how much my mom's talk and society in general can affect you. But this isn't about society, even if my coworkers affect me. One of my supervisors, as nice as he is, has been going around wearing a sweater in place of a regular polo and I could never do that. I'd be hot and sweating in minutes of walking around working. But just acknowledging that makes me feel like i'm overweight, because as much as my parents insisted I needed to gain weight growing up I feel like having any body fat is a bad thing. My mom certainly thinks so w/ her own body.
I keep bouncing back and forth between staying as I am or trying to diet. Granted it would present more like anorexia but whatever. Its all I know how to do. At least if I went ana i'd try to do it right - eat healthy food, not eat those damn meal bars and protein shakes I see my mom and loads of people buying at the store. My teeth are also a motivating factor - I want to cut my soda intake. I've noticed it bothers my crowns. I really should go to the dentist but I really don't want to. I'd never hear the end of it from my parents. So i'm just going to use a straw w/ soda and try to limit it to 1 or 2 a day. When I drink water, I actually prefer it. I think if I learned to cook a little, eating healthy be it for ana diet or not would not be a bad thing. For now i'll probably just eat only leftovers for meals and go through the drinks I bought then i'll figure it out. We've got leftover spaghetti in the fridge as well as chili. Toss out most of the stockpile of food I have. I've got the stuff to make scrambled egg burritos, i'm gonna try putting rotel in it and see if its good. It would add a little veggies at any rate. And they're low calorie. Not gonna lie if I could get down to 85-90lbs like I was growing up I would be happy. Its not like I've grown since then.
