Sometimes I wonder what planet motivational speakers live on. The other day we had one come to my workplace to discuss stress and burnout. This is at our busiest time of year, when we are burdened with complicated, time-consuming projects that pop up at the last moment and have to be done yesterday, and did I mention that due to budget constraints we are not allowed overtime? But the powers-that-be insisted that this was a mandatory meeting, so off we trudged.
Now, I'm not saying that the speaker didn't have anything valuable to say, but it was the timing of the thing and the fact that we had no choice in the matter that was the problem. I am not sure if she was aware of this; if she was, she sure didn't act like it. She was a perky, trim young thing who spoke about taking time out for oneself, especially to do things that enable you to "lose yourself in the flow"--all this warm, fuzzy, self-realization, self-actualization stuff. And I'm thinking, yeah, right. If you were to take the one step forward/one step backward chessboard test we did at church a while back as part of our training on race and privilege, where would you be? Front of the room or back of the pack? And I know that race isn't or shouldn't be significant here, but she was white. That fact alone gives her a leg up.
She talked about money and how money doesn't buy happiness. One of my co-workers muttered loud enough for her to overhear, "Neither does poverty." No, money doesn't buy happiness, but try living without it. Money doesn't buy happiness but it comes darn close. Money buys better health care, better housing, better food, it can buy people to do the grunt work for you so you don't have to do it, it buys access to places and people and opportunities. Show me someone who scorns money and I will show you a fool. No, money is not the most important thing in life but it does rank up there. Of course she was off and running with this and talking about how studies show that after a certain level money doesn't improve people's lives. I think it's pretty safe to say that very few of us sitting there are ever going to have that problem.
It was when she started talking about choices and burnouts and making sure that you get enough sleep each night that she lost quite a few people. First of all, as I said, we were required to be there. We were not free to choose to leave, which I am sure many of us would have if we had been. I know I would have because all I could think about was the project on my computer which absolutely positively had to be done before the end of the week and which required hours of work. Let's just say it was an Excel spreadsheet which eventually wound up to be over 20,000 rows before it was done--all hand-entered data. The clock is ticking, I have that and several other deadlines to meet, and I'm sitting here listening to this? Come up to my desk and let me show you a few things about multitasking and juggling.
And I have it comparatively easy. I am not one of the many, many women my age who are sandwiched between the demands of their aging parents, their grown children and their grandchildren. She mentioned a child. Since that child obviously wasn't in the room with her, someone had to be taking care of it. Who? Was it--as so often happens--an unpaid "Nonna" who is juggling her job, her health issues, her grown children's problems, and her parents' dementia? She is free to come speak to us because someone else is picking up the slack. I am not saying that women should stay home with their children. I don't advocate a return to the 1950's. But when you have a child, someone has to take care of it while you are at work. And there are a lot of older women out there who are being taken advantage of by their more "liberated" younger sisters. I kept thinking, come back in 20 years, sweetie, when you may be dealing with your child's child and your parents' failing health, your mother's broken hip and your father's cancer, and then tell us all about taking time for ourselves. Some of us simply don't have that luxury. I am fortunate because none of my family members with young children live near enough for them to dump them on single Aunt Compass. My biggest fear is that these same family members will be all too glad to dump our aging parents on me because I am single. And historically, the fate of single women in the Western world hasn't been pretty. We're the ones that ended up as unpaid drudges or went to work for others (like in Downton Abbey).
I've also noticed a pattern in these speakers. It is always up to us, the employees, to take care of ourselves and not get burned out by stress and overwork (as if we really had a choice). They never talk about not putting undue burdens on others. Reminds me somewhat of the scene in Exodus where Pharaoh tells the taskmasters to tell the Israelite slaves that now they have to go out and gather their own straw (instead of having it provided to them) but guess what, you still have to make the same quota of bricks each day. Did Pharaoh have motivational speakers come talk to the slaves while they were toiling to build the Pyramids and tell them how happy they ought to be and by the way, you need to take time off on the Sabbath? Don't forget though, Ramses wants that Pyramid done by next Tuesday and you're only on the first level. You see, that is what the world of work is like.
Now, I'm not saying that the speaker didn't have anything valuable to say, but it was the timing of the thing and the fact that we had no choice in the matter that was the problem. I am not sure if she was aware of this; if she was, she sure didn't act like it. She was a perky, trim young thing who spoke about taking time out for oneself, especially to do things that enable you to "lose yourself in the flow"--all this warm, fuzzy, self-realization, self-actualization stuff. And I'm thinking, yeah, right. If you were to take the one step forward/one step backward chessboard test we did at church a while back as part of our training on race and privilege, where would you be? Front of the room or back of the pack? And I know that race isn't or shouldn't be significant here, but she was white. That fact alone gives her a leg up.
She talked about money and how money doesn't buy happiness. One of my co-workers muttered loud enough for her to overhear, "Neither does poverty." No, money doesn't buy happiness, but try living without it. Money doesn't buy happiness but it comes darn close. Money buys better health care, better housing, better food, it can buy people to do the grunt work for you so you don't have to do it, it buys access to places and people and opportunities. Show me someone who scorns money and I will show you a fool. No, money is not the most important thing in life but it does rank up there. Of course she was off and running with this and talking about how studies show that after a certain level money doesn't improve people's lives. I think it's pretty safe to say that very few of us sitting there are ever going to have that problem.
It was when she started talking about choices and burnouts and making sure that you get enough sleep each night that she lost quite a few people. First of all, as I said, we were required to be there. We were not free to choose to leave, which I am sure many of us would have if we had been. I know I would have because all I could think about was the project on my computer which absolutely positively had to be done before the end of the week and which required hours of work. Let's just say it was an Excel spreadsheet which eventually wound up to be over 20,000 rows before it was done--all hand-entered data. The clock is ticking, I have that and several other deadlines to meet, and I'm sitting here listening to this? Come up to my desk and let me show you a few things about multitasking and juggling.
And I have it comparatively easy. I am not one of the many, many women my age who are sandwiched between the demands of their aging parents, their grown children and their grandchildren. She mentioned a child. Since that child obviously wasn't in the room with her, someone had to be taking care of it. Who? Was it--as so often happens--an unpaid "Nonna" who is juggling her job, her health issues, her grown children's problems, and her parents' dementia? She is free to come speak to us because someone else is picking up the slack. I am not saying that women should stay home with their children. I don't advocate a return to the 1950's. But when you have a child, someone has to take care of it while you are at work. And there are a lot of older women out there who are being taken advantage of by their more "liberated" younger sisters. I kept thinking, come back in 20 years, sweetie, when you may be dealing with your child's child and your parents' failing health, your mother's broken hip and your father's cancer, and then tell us all about taking time for ourselves. Some of us simply don't have that luxury. I am fortunate because none of my family members with young children live near enough for them to dump them on single Aunt Compass. My biggest fear is that these same family members will be all too glad to dump our aging parents on me because I am single. And historically, the fate of single women in the Western world hasn't been pretty. We're the ones that ended up as unpaid drudges or went to work for others (like in Downton Abbey).
I've also noticed a pattern in these speakers. It is always up to us, the employees, to take care of ourselves and not get burned out by stress and overwork (as if we really had a choice). They never talk about not putting undue burdens on others. Reminds me somewhat of the scene in Exodus where Pharaoh tells the taskmasters to tell the Israelite slaves that now they have to go out and gather their own straw (instead of having it provided to them) but guess what, you still have to make the same quota of bricks each day. Did Pharaoh have motivational speakers come talk to the slaves while they were toiling to build the Pyramids and tell them how happy they ought to be and by the way, you need to take time off on the Sabbath? Don't forget though, Ramses wants that Pyramid done by next Tuesday and you're only on the first level. You see, that is what the world of work is like.
