I see so many people talk about trying to figure out how to have a normal life. For us, people with Autism, it's the stupid small daily stuff that makes life hard. Keeping a job, interacting with other people, picking out clothes for the day, it's all complicated.
I don't have any magical solution for this. It's all in our brain and that's it. Well not quite. One of the most amazing things the brain can do is change. I'm not one of those people who says Autism can be cured. No, but I think you can manipulate it so that it becomes a strength and not a disability. Or at least something that isn't in the way all the time.
Whenever I have a moment where I feel sorry for myself I'm reminded of the following quote from one my my favorite novels:
"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then, to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust and never dream of regretting."
I think it's true what T.H. White says here. If you're willing to put the energy in you can learn to overcome anything that's thrown at you. There are many famous people with Autism who have made wonderful use of their disability.
For example, there's Dan Ackroyd, who is described as: "He was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome at age 12 and Asperger syndrome in the early 1980s, after his wife encouraged him to see a specialist. He attributes his lifelong fixation with ghosts and law enforcement to the obsessive side of autism."
Or how about Sir Anthony Hopkins: "A decade ago he was diagnosed with high-end Asperger’s syndrome, a neurological condition that affects social interaction. He is, he says himself, very much a loner. ‘I don’t go to parties, I don’t have many friends,’ he says. ‘But I do like people. I do like to get inside their heads.’ I ask him whether he thinks Asperger’s has helped him as an actor. He nods his head. ‘I definitely look at people differently. I like to deconstruct, to pull a character apart, to work out what makes them tick and my view will not be the same as everyone else. I get offered a lot of controlling parts, maybe because that’s how people see me. And maybe I am very controlled because I’ve had to be. I don’t question it, I just take the parts because I’m an actor and that’s what I do.’"
To me the most profound aspect of being Autistic is not understanding the world and people around me. But I've learned to recognize it when it happens and that made a world of difference. I work with a lot of autistic people and I see the same look in their eyes of always trying to keep up with the insanity around them, not understanding why people do certain things. Most of us resort to trying to find rules, see if we can distill a bunch of guidelines and rules we can apply to various situations. I think that's a good first step but I think we can do better (or more).
My biggest breakthrough came when I accepted that what other people were doing was normal and that my behavior wasn't. I know it sounds silly but it made the biggest difference. I'm not saying that all of a sudden I thought other people behaved decently or admirably, quite the opposite. In fact when I became just a tad paranoid that people were always trying to get something out of a situation things became clearer. People mostly act in a selfish way. If you examine a situation from that point of view you will typically start to have an insight into what motivates people.
I hope to blog a lot more about these kinds of observations. I have to pay a high price for learning this but I hope it can help other people.
I don't have any magical solution for this. It's all in our brain and that's it. Well not quite. One of the most amazing things the brain can do is change. I'm not one of those people who says Autism can be cured. No, but I think you can manipulate it so that it becomes a strength and not a disability. Or at least something that isn't in the way all the time.
Whenever I have a moment where I feel sorry for myself I'm reminded of the following quote from one my my favorite novels:
"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then, to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust and never dream of regretting."
T.H. White,
The Once and Future King
The Once and Future King
I think it's true what T.H. White says here. If you're willing to put the energy in you can learn to overcome anything that's thrown at you. There are many famous people with Autism who have made wonderful use of their disability.
For example, there's Dan Ackroyd, who is described as: "He was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome at age 12 and Asperger syndrome in the early 1980s, after his wife encouraged him to see a specialist. He attributes his lifelong fixation with ghosts and law enforcement to the obsessive side of autism."
Or how about Sir Anthony Hopkins: "A decade ago he was diagnosed with high-end Asperger’s syndrome, a neurological condition that affects social interaction. He is, he says himself, very much a loner. ‘I don’t go to parties, I don’t have many friends,’ he says. ‘But I do like people. I do like to get inside their heads.’ I ask him whether he thinks Asperger’s has helped him as an actor. He nods his head. ‘I definitely look at people differently. I like to deconstruct, to pull a character apart, to work out what makes them tick and my view will not be the same as everyone else. I get offered a lot of controlling parts, maybe because that’s how people see me. And maybe I am very controlled because I’ve had to be. I don’t question it, I just take the parts because I’m an actor and that’s what I do.’"
To me the most profound aspect of being Autistic is not understanding the world and people around me. But I've learned to recognize it when it happens and that made a world of difference. I work with a lot of autistic people and I see the same look in their eyes of always trying to keep up with the insanity around them, not understanding why people do certain things. Most of us resort to trying to find rules, see if we can distill a bunch of guidelines and rules we can apply to various situations. I think that's a good first step but I think we can do better (or more).
My biggest breakthrough came when I accepted that what other people were doing was normal and that my behavior wasn't. I know it sounds silly but it made the biggest difference. I'm not saying that all of a sudden I thought other people behaved decently or admirably, quite the opposite. In fact when I became just a tad paranoid that people were always trying to get something out of a situation things became clearer. People mostly act in a selfish way. If you examine a situation from that point of view you will typically start to have an insight into what motivates people.
I hope to blog a lot more about these kinds of observations. I have to pay a high price for learning this but I hope it can help other people.
