One more time. My body hurts, my body tenses as I make what I believed was my last movement to bring me pain... For the moment. I release a big breath as I hurt myself, rejoicing in the pain the movements bring.
Despite the fatigue of my body, my mind; chasing the hurt, wants more.
"What is the harm? I am already going to feel like poop the next day. What more harm can come with one more?"
My body screams in pain as I release all the air in my lungs. So much pain, but I revel in this pain. Pain, it brings me real feeling when all other emotions come to fail me. Pain. "screw it, I am going to keep going until I can not go anymore.
Once more, twice more, three times more.
I know this will hurt if I continue, it will hurt now, tomorrow, and will leave it's mark on my body for all too see. I care, let them see the results of my pain. Four. Five, Six. Now, the pain rules me. I love it, and invite it, but now it stops me from continuing.
I let go of the metal, wet from bodily fluid. Latter, when I have regained enough power to continue to hurt myself, I will continue to put myself through hell and back. Because pain, it does not fail me.
I sit down in my bed, soaking it in my own fluids. I will have to wash it latter, so I am not looked down on. A smile comes to my face. Bringing on such pain in my life, though as you can guess, painful; brings me an incredible amount of fulfillment
"hah, fulfillment from pain... Is that just not another type of happiness? Both are only emotions, and happiness can be just, even more damaging than pain."
I lay restless. laying completely still, except for my chest moving up and down with ferocity. All my being wants me to return, wield my tool, and harm. Harm myself, because this pain feels so good. The repetitions, the same agonizing movements, over and over until I can't go on. It seems, no matter what, I always find myself returning. I can't escape...
One.
Two.
Three
Fou- I can't.
I almost collapse from forcing myself into a unfeasible situation. The pain, that I seek, tells me too stop.
"One more rep..."
Despite the fatigue of my body, my mind; chasing the hurt, wants more.
"What is the harm? I am already going to feel like poop the next day. What more harm can come with one more?"
My body screams in pain as I release all the air in my lungs. So much pain, but I revel in this pain. Pain, it brings me real feeling when all other emotions come to fail me. Pain. "screw it, I am going to keep going until I can not go anymore.
Once more, twice more, three times more.
I know this will hurt if I continue, it will hurt now, tomorrow, and will leave it's mark on my body for all too see. I care, let them see the results of my pain. Four. Five, Six. Now, the pain rules me. I love it, and invite it, but now it stops me from continuing.
I let go of the metal, wet from bodily fluid. Latter, when I have regained enough power to continue to hurt myself, I will continue to put myself through hell and back. Because pain, it does not fail me.
I sit down in my bed, soaking it in my own fluids. I will have to wash it latter, so I am not looked down on. A smile comes to my face. Bringing on such pain in my life, though as you can guess, painful; brings me an incredible amount of fulfillment
"hah, fulfillment from pain... Is that just not another type of happiness? Both are only emotions, and happiness can be just, even more damaging than pain."
I lay restless. laying completely still, except for my chest moving up and down with ferocity. All my being wants me to return, wield my tool, and harm. Harm myself, because this pain feels so good. The repetitions, the same agonizing movements, over and over until I can't go on. It seems, no matter what, I always find myself returning. I can't escape...
One.
Two.
Three
Fou- I can't.
I almost collapse from forcing myself into a unfeasible situation. The pain, that I seek, tells me too stop.
"One more rep..."
