In looking back over the last couple of years I want to share some things I have learned from the experience. I am not bitter or upset as I knew pretty much going into the experience that it was only going to be temporary because I knew upfront that our belief systems were not compatible. You might say that I considered myself in the role of an anthropologist. So it was an interesting learning experience because I was not caught up in the fervor and did not allow myself to be blinded as to what was going on.
Since churches like this are popping up all over the United States (and possibly elsewhere), here are a few things to keep in mind should you be invited to one or should you decide to attend one. I am going to focus on Christianity here because that is what I know best but what I say can be applied to other religions as well.
A good source of information is Rick Ross Cult Information Network. Personally I consider it a red flag if any organization I am considering joining which is NOT local in origin shows up on RRCIN's forums. It indicates that somewhere someone had a problem with that group, and the more times a group is listed indicates that quite a few people have had problems with that group.
So the first thing is, know your group's pedigree. Is the group local or was it started by outsiders? Remember, anyone can pick up a Bible and start a church. In perusing the Rick Ross website I find that it is the small independent churches that tend to spark more complaints than the large established denominations although as the ongoing scandal in the Catholic Church indicates even the bigger churches have their problems as well. How did my church fare on that scale? It was an offshoot of a well-known and long-established area church, so that was a plus.
The second thing concerns membership requirements and classes. Here my church failed miserably on that scale. It offered NO new member orientation or classes. To become a member all you had to do was have an interview with the pastor and sign a paper saying you agreed with the church's teachings. Since the paper was extremely vague about what these teachings were, unless you already had a familiarity with evangelical Christianity (which I did) you might not realize that you might be committing yourself to something you did not agree with. You should have the opportunity to ask questions, especially if there are things you feel strongly about. One major point of disagreement with me was that they were young earth creationists and I am not. This was not spelled out anywhere in that document (which I did not sign, by the way) and when I asked about it I was told that it was not necessary to hold YEC views, that one could believe in evolution and modern science and be a member. Well, as I found out, that is not necessarily true. Yes, technically you can believe in mainstream science and also be a member, but the reality of it is that you will be under constant peer pressure to change those views. The other thing that they did not mention anywhere in this document is that women are not permitted to hold any kind of leadership role in this church. Nor was this mentioned at any time from the pulpit. I found this out at one of the monthly "luncheons with the pastor" which was about the only opportunity to ask questions and I am afraid I can't take credit for asking this one. Someone else did. Needless to say, that particular couple chose not to come back. These are things that if they mean a lot to you that you need to be aware of because churches like this are not going to be upfront about them.
One thing I cannot stress strongly enough is that you should not sever ties with those who are not members. I know from personal experience that it is so easy to get caught up in the fervor that you lose all sense of judgement. It is easy to slip into fanaticism and end up saying things and doing things you would not normally do. Pay VERY close attention to what is being said from the pulpit; don't just blindly go along. What people don't realize about mind control is that it is not as dramatic as the movies would make it. It creeps up on you little by little and you may not see what is going on. This is where your "outside" friends come in handy. Because they are on the outside they can see what you cannot and if they express concern, LISTEN TO THEM. There are, as I've mentioned before, some very destructive groups out there (hence Rick Ross) and your best defense is to keep your eyes open. If something doesn't feel right or sound right, leave. Don't rationalize it. When my pastor said that Satan can use science to deceive people and lead them away from Christ, that was a big red flag in my opinion. Especially when he did not clarify what he meant, leaving his audience to draw their own conclusions, rightly or wrongly. I know where that kind of thinking leads to and in my opinion not worth giving him the benefit of the doubt. As far as I am concerned, the line had been drawn, the gauntlet thrown down and my answer is NO. You will NOT bully or pressure me to change my thinking and if it does mean that I am choosing eternal damnation in your eyes, so be it. I do not think I misunderstood what I heard and there is nothing that can make me change my mind about returning.
I have learned that the only way to avoid being sucked into blind fanaticism is to know oneself and what one truly values in life. This takes experience and maturity and also a lot of courage. How many others heard that remark and were offended but did not have the courage to walk out I will probably never know. Or conversely, I may have started something. It may be that this could be the start of his little church unraveling. One never knows.
Since churches like this are popping up all over the United States (and possibly elsewhere), here are a few things to keep in mind should you be invited to one or should you decide to attend one. I am going to focus on Christianity here because that is what I know best but what I say can be applied to other religions as well.
A good source of information is Rick Ross Cult Information Network. Personally I consider it a red flag if any organization I am considering joining which is NOT local in origin shows up on RRCIN's forums. It indicates that somewhere someone had a problem with that group, and the more times a group is listed indicates that quite a few people have had problems with that group.
So the first thing is, know your group's pedigree. Is the group local or was it started by outsiders? Remember, anyone can pick up a Bible and start a church. In perusing the Rick Ross website I find that it is the small independent churches that tend to spark more complaints than the large established denominations although as the ongoing scandal in the Catholic Church indicates even the bigger churches have their problems as well. How did my church fare on that scale? It was an offshoot of a well-known and long-established area church, so that was a plus.
The second thing concerns membership requirements and classes. Here my church failed miserably on that scale. It offered NO new member orientation or classes. To become a member all you had to do was have an interview with the pastor and sign a paper saying you agreed with the church's teachings. Since the paper was extremely vague about what these teachings were, unless you already had a familiarity with evangelical Christianity (which I did) you might not realize that you might be committing yourself to something you did not agree with. You should have the opportunity to ask questions, especially if there are things you feel strongly about. One major point of disagreement with me was that they were young earth creationists and I am not. This was not spelled out anywhere in that document (which I did not sign, by the way) and when I asked about it I was told that it was not necessary to hold YEC views, that one could believe in evolution and modern science and be a member. Well, as I found out, that is not necessarily true. Yes, technically you can believe in mainstream science and also be a member, but the reality of it is that you will be under constant peer pressure to change those views. The other thing that they did not mention anywhere in this document is that women are not permitted to hold any kind of leadership role in this church. Nor was this mentioned at any time from the pulpit. I found this out at one of the monthly "luncheons with the pastor" which was about the only opportunity to ask questions and I am afraid I can't take credit for asking this one. Someone else did. Needless to say, that particular couple chose not to come back. These are things that if they mean a lot to you that you need to be aware of because churches like this are not going to be upfront about them.
One thing I cannot stress strongly enough is that you should not sever ties with those who are not members. I know from personal experience that it is so easy to get caught up in the fervor that you lose all sense of judgement. It is easy to slip into fanaticism and end up saying things and doing things you would not normally do. Pay VERY close attention to what is being said from the pulpit; don't just blindly go along. What people don't realize about mind control is that it is not as dramatic as the movies would make it. It creeps up on you little by little and you may not see what is going on. This is where your "outside" friends come in handy. Because they are on the outside they can see what you cannot and if they express concern, LISTEN TO THEM. There are, as I've mentioned before, some very destructive groups out there (hence Rick Ross) and your best defense is to keep your eyes open. If something doesn't feel right or sound right, leave. Don't rationalize it. When my pastor said that Satan can use science to deceive people and lead them away from Christ, that was a big red flag in my opinion. Especially when he did not clarify what he meant, leaving his audience to draw their own conclusions, rightly or wrongly. I know where that kind of thinking leads to and in my opinion not worth giving him the benefit of the doubt. As far as I am concerned, the line had been drawn, the gauntlet thrown down and my answer is NO. You will NOT bully or pressure me to change my thinking and if it does mean that I am choosing eternal damnation in your eyes, so be it. I do not think I misunderstood what I heard and there is nothing that can make me change my mind about returning.
I have learned that the only way to avoid being sucked into blind fanaticism is to know oneself and what one truly values in life. This takes experience and maturity and also a lot of courage. How many others heard that remark and were offended but did not have the courage to walk out I will probably never know. Or conversely, I may have started something. It may be that this could be the start of his little church unraveling. One never knows.
