Previously: I muddled metaphors to define deathcake (building up problems in a way that rapidly exhausts my processing capacity), a pictorial guide through an anxiety attack, and described how friends make exploring my psychic landscape safer. True to my condition--and its real definition--I was so distracted by a detail that I devoted this post to it, with a nod to the season of Lent. Reading the thread End of the Use of the Name Asperger's set me on fire; and the thread on how we got Dr. Asperger's ideas, and his name, into English prompted me to return.
Hans Asperger is curiously and aptly named for the syndrome he identified. His name's meaning is wound tightly into its English cognates, no matter what the DSM-V says.
It's ironic to think of Catholics, and indeed any Christian denomination, praying for a measure of what so many of us have been richly blessed with and grieved by: asperges. My blog's walk has gone to some dark places pretty quickly, influenced by not only my own trials, but many of your thoughts as I've understood them in threads, posts, and comments.
This post is not a claim about Christianity v. other faiths. I want to explore how a common trait of Asperger's--its defining element, for me--has two attributes:
Psalm 51 is sometimes titled, "Create in me a clean heart, O God." A penitent king has chosen to hear the message rather than shoot the messenger.The messenger has been smart about bringing the judgment: Nathan, the prophet, asks King David to judge a man by a story Nathan tells. David is furious at hearing the story and condemns the criminal--only to hear Nathan declare that the story is about David himself: "You are the man!" The psalm is attributed to David, an accomplished musician, expressing his remorse at corrupting justice by his behavior.
The Bible's prophets, as a group, unquestionably favor a collective diagnosis of Asperger's: they speak harshly, tersely, they cry a lot, they do very odd things compulsively; they have few, if any, friends. Getting married takes Divine Intervention. They hear a voice, not "voices in their head." They are stoned, driven out, mocked, arrested, beaten, and they die like anybody else. (There's always an exception. I'm looking at you, Elijah.)
And, oh, yes, their words are true and they are passionate beyond reason about justice. A person meeting the Biblical definition of a prophet is not a fortune-teller but a truth-sayer. Prophets are feared, because the truth is an awful thing (awful, in the original sense of the word:awe-inspiring, scary).
Do these life experiences sound as familiar to you as they do to me? Do these attributes remind of you of your own diagnosis as they remind me of mine? Maybe more so, maybe less so.
Prophets Can't Become Bullies (Prevention's Built-in)
The prophet, like the autist, cleans the community by maintaining a standard that holds executives accountable. Prophets can rebuke kings, who otherwise may never hear a harsh word from anyone they aren't actually going to war against. The prophet will often suffer for it: this is how prophets can't become bullies. There are fearsome consequences to speaking truth to power. Prophets might die sooner rather than later.
So prophets are courageous people as well, assertive to aggressive when insisting on bringing a true word. They are whistle-blowers. It's not useful to have too many of them in too small a community; the ratio doesn't have to be huge. They'd have to be--sprinkled--around. Maybe about 4% of the population counts as a sprinkle: that's the estimated ratio of aspies to NTs in the US.
Prophets are just people. They do have ordinary lives. They do fall short of the mark, and sin. They do have to expiate their sins. Prophets aren't saints, who model life lived on behalf of God. They get no wings. They have no haloes. But when they speak, cities fall, dynasties end, a new chapter begins.
I've partially unpacked Psalm 51 here to help support some of my ideas. I hope you've enjoyed this brief trip into the language and Christian significance of Asperger's--and I encourage you to explore it in your spiritual tradition if you have one. I'm especially excited by how some of this aligns with the sutras of Ch'an Buddhism, but I'm not knowledgeable enough to write about it.
Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God, acknowledges God's position as ultimate judge
according to your steadfast love; acknowledges God's attributes of faithfulness and love
according to your abundant mercy acknowledges one of the forms of a lovely act
blot out my transgressions. acknowledges why the act is needed
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, acknowledges the prophet is no better than anybody else
and cleanse me from my sin! acknowledges the prophet knows he or she is responsible for his/her sin
3 For I know my transgressions, speaking truth to power in humility
and my sin is ever before me. guilty conscience won't let me alone
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned any wrong I do, I do to God
and done what is evil in your sight, and God will always see it
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, Nowhere in my life, ever, can I claim
and in sin did my mother conceive me. to be utterly sinless.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, I'm not wise in my own eyes;
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. I see what you show me.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Hans Asperger is curiously and aptly named for the syndrome he identified. His name's meaning is wound tightly into its English cognates, no matter what the DSM-V says.
Asperges, n. 1550s, from Latin asperges, 2nd person singular future indicative of aspergere "to scatter, strew upon, sprinkle," from ad "to" (see ad- ) + spargere "to sprinkle" (see sparse ). The word is taken from the phrase "Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo et mundabor," from Psalm 51, sung during the rite of sprinkling a congregation with holy water.--dictionary.com
Other cognates and related phrases: casting aspersions, purge, Purgatory; asp (snake) and waspish (snappish, stinging, irritably sharp). Spurge (invasive, aggressive plant). From the French: espurge (cleanse). From High German: aspe (harsh, rough).
It's ironic to think of Catholics, and indeed any Christian denomination, praying for a measure of what so many of us have been richly blessed with and grieved by: asperges. My blog's walk has gone to some dark places pretty quickly, influenced by not only my own trials, but many of your thoughts as I've understood them in threads, posts, and comments.
This post is not a claim about Christianity v. other faiths. I want to explore how a common trait of Asperger's--its defining element, for me--has two attributes:
- Odd coincidences about languages, nature, behavior, and objects create an Asperger's theme
- How autism has been useful not to the autist, but to the very community in which he, or she, lives. And how very unappreciated this utility is.
"We are convinced, then, that autistic people have their place in the organism of the social community. They fulfill their role well, perhaps better than anyone else could, and we are talking of people who as children had the greatest difficulties and caused untold worries to their care-givers.”
Quote by Hans Asperger during the era of Nazi Eugenics when it was literally a matter of life and death
--ASPartOfMe, on Wrong Planet
"Thank you God for bringing us in safety to this new day. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight; bless the work of my hands here. Amen."
Psalm 51 is sometimes titled, "Create in me a clean heart, O God." A penitent king has chosen to hear the message rather than shoot the messenger.The messenger has been smart about bringing the judgment: Nathan, the prophet, asks King David to judge a man by a story Nathan tells. David is furious at hearing the story and condemns the criminal--only to hear Nathan declare that the story is about David himself: "You are the man!" The psalm is attributed to David, an accomplished musician, expressing his remorse at corrupting justice by his behavior.
The Bible's prophets, as a group, unquestionably favor a collective diagnosis of Asperger's: they speak harshly, tersely, they cry a lot, they do very odd things compulsively; they have few, if any, friends. Getting married takes Divine Intervention. They hear a voice, not "voices in their head." They are stoned, driven out, mocked, arrested, beaten, and they die like anybody else. (There's always an exception. I'm looking at you, Elijah.)
And, oh, yes, their words are true and they are passionate beyond reason about justice. A person meeting the Biblical definition of a prophet is not a fortune-teller but a truth-sayer. Prophets are feared, because the truth is an awful thing (awful, in the original sense of the word:awe-inspiring, scary).
Do these life experiences sound as familiar to you as they do to me? Do these attributes remind of you of your own diagnosis as they remind me of mine? Maybe more so, maybe less so.
Prophets Can't Become Bullies (Prevention's Built-in)
The prophet, like the autist, cleans the community by maintaining a standard that holds executives accountable. Prophets can rebuke kings, who otherwise may never hear a harsh word from anyone they aren't actually going to war against. The prophet will often suffer for it: this is how prophets can't become bullies. There are fearsome consequences to speaking truth to power. Prophets might die sooner rather than later.
So prophets are courageous people as well, assertive to aggressive when insisting on bringing a true word. They are whistle-blowers. It's not useful to have too many of them in too small a community; the ratio doesn't have to be huge. They'd have to be--sprinkled--around. Maybe about 4% of the population counts as a sprinkle: that's the estimated ratio of aspies to NTs in the US.
Prophets are just people. They do have ordinary lives. They do fall short of the mark, and sin. They do have to expiate their sins. Prophets aren't saints, who model life lived on behalf of God. They get no wings. They have no haloes. But when they speak, cities fall, dynasties end, a new chapter begins.
I've partially unpacked Psalm 51 here to help support some of my ideas. I hope you've enjoyed this brief trip into the language and Christian significance of Asperger's--and I encourage you to explore it in your spiritual tradition if you have one. I'm especially excited by how some of this aligns with the sutras of Ch'an Buddhism, but I'm not knowledgeable enough to write about it.
Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God, acknowledges God's position as ultimate judge
according to your steadfast love; acknowledges God's attributes of faithfulness and love
according to your abundant mercy acknowledges one of the forms of a lovely act
blot out my transgressions. acknowledges why the act is needed
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, acknowledges the prophet is no better than anybody else
and cleanse me from my sin! acknowledges the prophet knows he or she is responsible for his/her sin
3 For I know my transgressions, speaking truth to power in humility
and my sin is ever before me. guilty conscience won't let me alone
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned any wrong I do, I do to God
and done what is evil in your sight, and God will always see it
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, Nowhere in my life, ever, can I claim
and in sin did my mother conceive me. to be utterly sinless.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, I'm not wise in my own eyes;
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. I see what you show me.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
